#1To Regain the Lost Future (Narrative, action, and scene)
The scientist worked frantically. He is closer to his goal than ever. He drilled and hammered his creation together. Then ended his work with a soft layer of material. For the next months, he trained her in basic needs and speech. He was like a father, treating her with love. He gave her a name, Nina. Then showed her the time machine that he made even during the time he mentored her. So she leapt into time to the past of so many years ago to save his childhood friend from death.
- Fate: Ahhhhh!
- Phoena: What is wrong, Fate?
- Fate: There is a girl lying here! She just appeared out of nowhere.
- Phoena: Silly, there is no way she could’ve appeared out of nowhere, let’s get her to the club room.
- Phoena: Elemia! This girl fainted in the hallway, can you help her?
- Elemia: Let me see what I can do.
- Elemia: She seems to be fine. Nimpha, can you make her some hot chocolate?
- Nimpha: Happy to do so! Let’s make her happy happy when she wakes up!
- Phoena: (To Fate) Hey, don’t be such a worrywart, she is fine.
- Light: Oh! What is this! My eyes are blinded! Is it a goddess?
- Phoena: Oh no……….
- Elemia: (To Light) Shhh, you are going to wake her up.
(Nimpha punched Light in the shoulder)
(Nina opens her eyes)
(Everyone froze what they are doing and looks at her)
- Nina: Where am I?
- Light: Oh! My goddess, will you marry me?
- Phoena: Knock it off (pushes Light).
- Elemia: You are in the school. What is your name?
- Nina: (thinking to herself - aside to the audience) I know what I need to do, but they cannot find out about it.
- Nina: My….my name….Nina…..I think.
- Elemia: You fainted in the hallway, do you remember?
- Nina: No…..I don’t remember anything.
- Nimpha: Oh! Is this what they call an amnesia? Don’t worry, just be happy happy and everything will be fine!
- Phoena: It is getting late, we should get home soon. Do you have a place to crash, Nina?
- Nina: I…..I….
- Light: Oh! I volunteer to take care of her!
- Elemia: You can come to my place for the night, is that ok with you?
- Narrator: And so Nina went home with Elemia while everyone went back to their own house. For the next few days, Nina would go to the school like a normal student and live in Elemia’s place. They would go stargazing in attempts to cheer Nina up, but she only got more gloomy as the time passes by. One day, she pulled Fate away from everybody.
- Nimpha: Nina don’t look happy happy, and she looks at Fate a lot.
- Elemia: Fate seems to turn his head her way very often as well.
- Nimpha: Do you think they…..(Nimpha looks at the quiet Phoena and stopped)
- Elemia: Phoena, I think you should tell Fate of your feeling soon.
- Nimpha: Ya, you are his childhood friend. You have liked him all these years, it is time you confess.
- Phoena: I...I’ll think about it.
- Nina: Three days from now, make sure you give her an answer.
- Fate: What?
- Nina: Just give her an answer!
- Narrator: Three days quickly passed, and Fate found himself alone with Phoena. As for Nina, she hid and listened to their conversation. For some reason, there is a pain in her chest but this is her mission. Her mission to change the past, and she won’t fail.
- Phoena: All these years that we have spent together, every seconds of it made my heart beat faster. Every Time somebody asked us about our relationship, you would reply “just childhood friends”. I don’t want that, Fate! I don’t want that! I want to be more than your childhood friend. I love you Fate, do you love me?
- Fate: I…..
- Narrator: Fate wanted to stay silent, but his previous conversation with Nina urged him to speak.
- Fate: I am sorry, but I love Nina.
- Narrator: Nina stood up from the box she was hiding behind. Replacing her hurting heart, is fear. Fear that her mission has failed, yet some part of her is happy. Happy that he loves her
- Fate: Nina…..(he reaches out for her)
- Fate: Nina!
Phoena stopped in the middle of the road crying, oblivious to the bus racing toward her. Nina ran to Phoena and pulled her into a hug, but the bus only sped past them. The girl screamed…..Fate lays in front of them motionlessly. He had pushed them out of the way. The girls screamed and cried at the sight before them.
- Phoena: Nina! What is happening to you?!
- Nina: I’m...I’m disappearing!
- Narrator: As Nina fades away from this time she also fades away from the memories of everyone, and so Phoena is left alone in front of her childhood friend’s body.
- Narrator: 30 years later
The scientist finishes her creation. For the next months, she trained the robot in basic needs and speech. She was like a mother, treating her with love. She gave her a name, Nina. Then she showed her the time machine that she made, and so the robot leapt into time to the past of so many years ago to save her childhood friend death.
#2 Passed Hope (Drama)
(Entered two man with a wounded horse)
- Razzarabazz: Lord Felyn, are you ok?
- Razzarabazz: (Gasps) Those arrows! Curse those barbarians and their cowardly tactics. They burned our villages, killed our families, and dressed up as our soldier to hide amongst our rank before attacking us from behind.
- Lord Felyn: Razzarabazz, you are a brilliant man, take this.
- Razzarabazz: But….milord, this is the house seal! The prove of your control over the troops!
- Felyn: There is no time, I’ve always known your talent. You can save this country! Had I lend an ear to your words. This army would not have fallen into disarray.
- Felyn: You must save the people from the rule of tyrant.
- Razzarabazz: But…..
- Felyn: Razz, they cannot have the seal! Go, and save this land.
- Razzarabazz: Yes, sir…….
- Felyn: Now! Come and test your strength, you savages!
- Razzarabazz: Milord! Your sacrifice will not be in vain.
#3 Stellaren - The Painful End (Drama)
- K: (Sobbing) No! I did not come all the way here just for this..
- M: K! Listen to me.: The reason they are so well coordinated is their neuronetwork, and I have taken over it. If the network is severed before they regain the connection, then they won’t come back anymore.
- K: There must be another way.
- M: Humanity can’t take another attack! We can save billions of lives.
- K: But what if this doesn’t work?
- M: We have to try.
- K: This isn’t what I wanted.
- M: I’m sorry, but I just want to see you one more time before the end.
- K: I can’t do it…..I can’t watch you die!
- M: K….Promise me that you will live and save as many as you can.
- K: M! No……..
- Admiral: You have done well captain K. The augmented have retreated and won’t be coming back for a long time. The rebuilding of the colonies have began, and the human have united.
- Admiral: We hope you will continue to serve the cause of humanity in the future.
- Girl: Here Lucky! Go fetch!
- Lucky: Woof woof!
- Car: (Honks)
- Car: Oh crap!
- Girl: Lucky!
- Dog: (Whimpers)
- Girl: Oh no! Lucky….I’m sorry.
(Lucky licks her tears away before becoming still)
#5 Jeff the Killer (Point of View)
Next to your bed
Jeff: (sighs) people nowaday are so restless. They are not taking care of their own body. Don’t they know that sleep is important? Everyone is suppose to sleep nine and a quarter hours everyday. Yet they fails to do that simple task. I guess I will have to teach them the value of sleep, but I am tired myself. I know, let me cut this flap off so that my eyes will never close. Wait….what is this shining thing on my hand? Is it my tool of teaching? Hehehe, this will do just fine. Oh, look, somebody haven’t gotten their daily need of sleep yet! I guess she will be my first student. Woah, what is that shining rectangular object on her hand. Her thumbs continue to tap at that light. Let me stand closer. Hm….she is so obsessed with that thing she didn’t even notice me. Oh well, I’ll just stand here until she turns around.
(30 minutes later)
Girl: (yawns) I don’t want to sleep yet. Wait...something feels wrong, do I hear a faint breathing?
(A scream failed to escape the hand of this stranger with pale white face and big black eyes. This stranger held a big red smile across his cheek. Then his mouth moved.)
Jeff: Go to sleep……….
#6 The Race (Action)
Beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeep. they drove forward. Some pass the other, others fell behind, but this is not the end. There are ways to get back to the front. Some was able to grab a question mark, then the battle begin. The one at the front ate a banana and threw the peel behind, making the one after spin out of control. Somebody use squid to blind everyone else, and he soon got in front of everyone. Two more cars crashed. Boom, the cloud darkens. Boom, lightning striked everyone and turn them smaller. The one who wielded the lightning squashed another racer and got to the front, yet this race is far from over. He hears a dangerous sound from behind. Turning his head, he saw a blue turtle shell flying right at him. It hit him at high speed and sent him straight out of the race. Then the race finished, and the winner is announced.
#7 Knowledge is Power (Inanimate Object)
FB: Hehehehehehehehehe…...Knowledge is power, therefore I am powerful. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I see everything, I read everything, I know everything…..about you. So many of you are within my sight, telling me every little detail of your daily life! Dramatized that is. Every second I receive photos. Yes! You think you are safe? Setting the picture settings on private, but you are not. I see it. Every thing that you upload to me. Cameras are my eyes, speakers are my ears, and there are many. You cannot escape me! I am the root of your survival. Be addicted to me. Keep feeding me informations, so that I will become even more powerful!
#8 Corruption Free
He came in the middle of the night, to the park where we were egging people’s car. His eyes, his beautiful purple eyes, just stared into our soul. All hatred and anger were suddenly cleansed from our mind, our body. No thought of sin remained, we just want to become better people. Thereafter, we proceed to better ourselves. We took up responsibility and help out other people. No one else remembered him. I tried to bring it up many times, but all my friends gave me dumbfounded looks whenever i mentioned him. Beside the fact that my memory remained, i also gained something from him. His memories. It holds every sin that he had cleansed in the past; however, the sin did not disappear, instead….it consumed and became him. Every night I would pondered on his sacrifice, and why did I receive this record. Did he want to be remembered by someone? No, that is not it. There is something else that he wants from me; however, nothing happened for the next ten years. Nothing, except that my family have dropped their bad habits. Drinking, smoking, and fighting are no longer common in my family. Did that man came to my family and purified them? No, I get the feeling that is wrong. Oh well, I need to go to work now, I will think more later. Then passing the mirror, I realized something. Something magnificent. I got a closer look, and stared into those beautiful purple eyes. Then I know what I need to do.
#9 A Terminal Lie
Jenna: I hate keeping this from Lori, but I just can’t tell her yet. I’m afraid if I do she’ll make me live here for the remainder of my time, and everything will be ruined. I want to actually live during my last three months, not just be!
Abby: I know it’ll be hard, but don’t you think she should know? She’s as close to you as anyone!
Jenna: I know that that’s what I should do, but I can’t stand the thought of making life even harder for her. She’s already lost her first and only child. How can I make her lose her best friend too?
Abby: But how can you just keep this a secret?? This is your Life we’re talking about!
Jenna: I know, I just can’t break one more person's heart. I just can’t.
Lori: Jenna…? Are you really dying? How…? Why…? I don’t… Uh….
Jenna: I wanted to tell you! really I did! please don’t…
Lori: Did you?! Because It’s sounding like you had no intention of telling me any of this!
Jenna: Please Lori!
Lori: How could you?!
Jenna: I just…
Lori: I have to go…
#10 Superhero Support Group
Setting: a dingy basement somewhere in Manhattan
Pink Queen: I just want to welcome everybody here today, It’s nice to see you all.
Tooth Brush Boy: Thank You, It’s nice to be appreciated for once. Everytime I go to try and help some little kid brush their teeth they yell and scream like the apocalypse is starting. I just feel so underappreciated, and I’m getting tired of it.
Pink Queen: well.. um, thank you Tooth Brush Boy, we weren’t actually to that point yet, but, um, thanks for sharing anyway.
Traffic fixer: He always does that, just jumps right in and starts talking about his feelings. It’s like he’s some wimpy little girl or something.
TBB: I do not!
TF: Do too!!
PQ: Okay, okay, cut it out you guys. We haven’t even said our pledge yet, or welcomed our visitors! How rude of us. Who is this visiting with you Friend Fisher?
Friend Fisher: Oh, this is Caroline. I met her at the park yesterday. She’s just such a sweetheart, I wanted her to come and meet all of you!
PQ: You mean… She’s uh…?
FF: Oh, I did it again! You’re unhappy because I brought a mortal. I was just trying to be nice.
TBB: Pink Queen! Can’t you do something about this? She’s going to end up exposing us. She’s spending too much time talking to these mortals!
PQ: I suppose I have too. I just want at least one of our meeting to actually go as planned for once. Something always screws them up.
TF: Just knock her out with the color pink, I’ll stop traffic long enough to get her home, Tooth Brush Boy can get her teeth brushed, Friend Fisher can tuck her in and say good bye, then we can resume this meeting without difficulty.
PQ: Well, it’s alright. We’ll just get Caroline back home then we can all get back on duty. Support Group adjourned.
#11 Sunshine Cutie
Setting: The community park
*Three little kids, two boys and one girl, are playing at the community park. One of the little boys falls off the playground, and is sitting on the ground crying*
Jessie: Oh no! Taylor are you okay?!
Taylor: *bursts into a new round of tears*
Jessie: Alex! Don’t just stand there!! You have to go find someone to help us!
Alex: But our moms are CLEAR OVER THERE!!
jessie: You have to alex! If not for Taylor, for me!
Sunshine Cutie: Never Fear! Sunshine Cutie is here!!
Alex: Hurry! come help us! *pulls Sunshine over to Taylor*
SC: What seems to be the problem here young man?
Jessie: Wellll, he sort of just fell off the playground, and now he won’t stop crying!
Alex: Yeah… what she said.
SC: Well! never fear!! Sunshine Cutie is here, to save the day!!
Jessie: Would you stop saying that and just help us already??
Alex: Yeah… what she said!
*SC waves her magic wand and makes Taylor stop crying*
Taylor: Thankyou miss!
SC: Anytime you need me.
Taylor: Well, now that you’re here, you should just stay and play with us!
Jessie: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!
SC: I’m sorry my darling children, but now that there is sunshine everywhere, and all the cheeks are dry of tears, I really must be on my way.
Alex: yeah… what she said!
Jessie: oh you don’t know what you’re talking about Alex!
Alex: Do Too!!
Jessie: Do not!
Taylor: Oh stop it you two. She has to go.
SC: Buh Bye now! Bye! Bye now!
All three kids: I liked her! *look at each other and erupt into giggles*
#12 Early Morning Secrets
Setting: Molly’s bedroom
Angie: *Knock Knock* Honey are you awake yet? Molly? What… is that? oh my! I wish she would have told me she was still worried about all of this. Oh, I should have been talking to her about her dad more. This whole teenage attitude thing is all my fault. I’ve been a horrible mom!
Molly: Mom? What are you doing in here?
Angie:Well you were… you were late for… Honey I’m sorry you miss your dad. I miss him too you know. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him.
Molly: Oh mom!
Angie: *pulls Molly in for a hug* You Know I love you right?
Molly: Yes mom. I love you too
#13 The LIfe of a Coloring Book
Setting: In a psychiatrist's office
COLORING BOOK: I’m sorry Doctor! It’s just that I try so hard to be everything I’m supposed to be. I just wish I were more treasured! I am covered in these Bright Vibrant colors, and enclosed are tons of intricate designs.
But no one cares! I’m always being flipped open, and my pages being rifled through. I try so hard, everyday, to reorganize myself. Keep my pages clean, crisp, and tidy. But someone always messes me up again!
Plus, I’m constantly being shoved into these small spaves. I lothe enclosxed areas. I’m so claustrophobic I could cry!
No one even shows any interest in how I feel. The worst part is when they decide to take a page right out of my middle! The fold me this way, and crrrrease, then they fold me the other way and crrrrrease, then they take their slimy tongue and run it all up and down me like some kind of Animal. It’s simply humiliating!
But the absolute worst moment is when they grip me real tight in those grimy, gross hands and PULL!!! Rip my insides right outl! like they aren’t even mine!
Ugh! the life of a Coloring Book!
#14 The Bathroom Club
Setting: Hanging out in the bathroom after Isabelle has left for the day.
Everyone: *random talking and shouting*
ToothBrush: Order! Order! ORDER!!
Hair Brush: Yeah yeah yeah, we’re quiet now.
TB: Good. Now, for our first order of business. We have a new member of our club! Lipstick, please stand up, introduce yourself, and tell us where you’re from. Alright? Alright.
Lipstick: Uh… Hi. My name is Lipstick…
Everyone: Hi lipstick!
Lipstick: Umm… I just got shipped here from Walmart. I had a very nice shelf there, but um… I guess it’s nice here too… *starts to sob*
TB: okay okay, I think you can sit down now. Um, so for our second order of business, we need to discuss what to do about Isabelle’s new habit of putting on too much Mascara.
HB: What is there to talk about?
Mascara: yeah!? you’re just jealous. She only uses you twice a day, but she uses me nearly 4 times everyday!
TB: Oh, hush! That’s not it at all. I’m just worried that if we don’t start hiding you, there will be none of you left. She’ll use you till you’re all dried up. Just like she did with the last one. Then she’ll…. she’ll… THROW YOU AWAY!!! *breaks down into tears*
Hair Spray: NO! Not the garbage can! We’ll never see you again! And I don’t want you to be replaced Mascara! You’re a lot nicer than the Eye Shadow over there.
Mascara: Aww, I don’t know wether to be flattered or upset that you compared me to eye shadow…?
Mascara: Wait, you forgot to call roll Toothbrush.
TB: Oh yeah, Okay um, Hairbrush is here, We’ve heard from Mascara, Hairspray has put her two cents in, we introduced Lipstick, and toothpaste is sitting in the corner silently like normal. Looks like we have everyone here… Oh except for Lip Gloss. Where is she anyway?
Mascara: Maybe she’s just slept in again….
Hairspray: Not likely.
Hairbrush: I’ll bet she got thrown out…
Everyone: NO! NOT THE TRASH!!!! *The scene melts into commotion, lots of screaming*
#15 Title: Wanna-be Goat
Setting: In the back Pasture
*Goat is chewing up various cans and other garbage as the Lamb is looking on disgusted*
Goat: Bahhhhh I love these cans! They’re the greatest!
Lamb: Eww, I just don’t see how these are appealing. There must be something wrong with me!
Goat: Maybe it’s because you’re so darn furry. It just ruins your appetite for these delicacies. Or Maybe it’s because of the lack of Luscious beard.
Lamb: No, No, It’s just because I’m not normal. I’m going to go find something decent to eat.
*walks over to a lovely looking patch of grass and starts chowing down*
Horse: Why are you all alone little Lamb?
Lamb: I’m not a Lamb! I’m a Goat!!
Horse: No, You have fleece as white as snow, like the little ones on the other side of the hill.
Lamb: Do I really?! You mean I’m not just screwed up?
Horse: No, I don’t know why you always hang around that silly goat.
Lamb: Oh I had no idea! Thank you mister Duck!!
Horse: Oh my heavens! I’m a horse!! Keep your animals straight little lamb.
Lamb: Oh, I will! I will!
#16 Desert Dwellers
The the heart of the desert on the hottest day of the year.
All five people slowly enter the stage walking with determination. The sun then comes out. The first person drops like a fly. The remaining four look at each other in distress. The try to get the fifth person up. When it doesn’t work they keep moving slower this time. Then the second person slowly falls to the ground screaming and thrashing. The other three exchange a look but only slow for a second. Now the third falls. Writhing and twitching a bit. Looking very freaked out but determined they stop only for a second to pay their respects then the continue moving. Now the fourth person falls. The remaining person looks at him for a second but only long enough to process that he is alone and keeps moving. Then very very slowly they sink to the ground completely silently.
Setting: at the home of Bob, Job, Steffaneigh
cast: Bob, Job,Steffaneigh, Carol, Mom and Dad
Bob: Oh my gosh seriously we are triplets guys I can't believe it.
Job: guys we are all identical though. it's too crazy. especially with steffaneigh.
Steffaneigh: guys you are literally so rude. I can't believe future business leaders of america would say something like that.
Job: shut up steffaneigh you're just jealous.
Bob: Steffaneigh you have no talent. It's like me and Job are twins and you're just there.
Steffaneigh: Whatever I croquet like a boss. FYI!!!
Bob: Like that’s going to help you in life.
Carol: Hey Steffaneigh! (looking at Job) Are you coming to my house? come on we were supposed to hang out!
Job: Carol, its Job. Steffaneigh is over there. (points to Bob)
Carol: Agh! You would think I would know who is who since i’ve known you for 13 years.
Bob: JOB! How could you mistake me for low life Steffaneigh!?
Job: Bruh i’m sorry. Never again!
Steffaneigh: Let’s go Carol. They are so rude.
Carol: see ya!
(Carol and Steffaneigh leave)
(Mom and dad come in)
Mom: Steffaneigh. Go Do the dishes!! NO BUTS
Job: But, I'm not….
Mom: NO BUTS.
Dad: You heard your mom steffaneigh. Go. NOW
Job: MOM REALLY YOU CAN’T TELL BETWEEN YOUR OWN CHILDREN!!!?
Mom: Oh heavens to betsy we did it again Joeffrey
Dad: flip, (looks at BOB) Sorry, steffaneigh. Go do your dishes. honestly child.
Bob: Dad, I’m Not….
Dad: DON’T play these games with me. I mean it Steffaneigh,
(BOB GOES AND DOES DISHES)
#18 How Dare you
Cast: Shelby, Shawn, and random people
Setting: walking on the streets.
Shelby: HOW DARE YOU SHAWN!!!!!
Shawn: what are you talking about!
Shelby: (whispers) play along. YOU CAN’T BREAK UP WITH ME!!!!!
Shawn: Shelby i don’t get you sometimes.
Shelby: TAKE YOUR STUPID RING!!! (throws a ring at shawn)
(people look at shawn strangely)
Shawn: (talking to the person walking by) she is just playing! this isn't real.
Shelby: of course this is real why are you doing this to me right here in front of everybody.
Shawn: Shelby stop you are making a scene.
Shelby: Good… (crying now) WHY ME WHY ME!!
(shawn is getting upset and irritated)
Shawn: Shelby please!
Shelby: (keeps crying)
(finally Shawn can’t take it anymore and kisses shelby unexpectedly)
(the kiss shuts shelby up, and she stares of into the distance)
Shawn: See everyone (taking to the crowd) nothing is wrong.
(everyone walks away)
Shawn: i knew that would shut you up!
19 The sorta superhero
Cast: sorta Superhero, and the niece
Setting: In a room with the superhero talking to us
SORTA SUPERHERO: So, ya people do call me a superhero, but I'm not really a superhero. I don't have any powers. Just because I help one person out it means that I’m a superhero. Can a guy ever just be nice.
It’s really hard to live up to these expectations, For example, My niece Thinks That I can fly so she keeps asking me to take her on a flight. i Mean it's cool to be called a superhero, it makes me smile. You know what I can be a superhero, I don’t need powers, I don't need to fly. I can just be me and that is enough. I’m great just the way I am. I'll be a super if I want. I'll be…..Nice Man!!
NIECE: Ya good luck with that.
20 The BAD haircut(ACTION)
CAST: Stacey, The hair stylist
Setting: at the salon
Stacey is sitting there while the hair stylist does her hair
stacey sneezes and whips her head forward.
The hair stylist cuts a big chunk of hair out because she whipped her head forward.
the hair stylist holds up the hair in panic, starts to freak out.
the hair stylist shows the chunk of hair to stacey and she starts to cry.
The hair stylist tries to comfort stacy then gets an idea.
She tells stacey what she is going to do and she nods.
she starts to cut the hair shorter and makes it into an “A” line
she shows stacy a mirror and stacey likes it.
Stacey hug the hair stylist and goes off stage.
Setting: In prince charming’s Castle. Prince Charming is creating a ball for Cinderella and his sassiness kicks in.
Characters: Prince Charming
PRINCE C: Oh my gosh you are doing it all wrong! You have to be sassy and fierce! Like seriously you need to work IT!! The streamers need to be over here on this wall and hung like this. (Steps back to look at his creation and starts to cry). (Crying while talking) OH my, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. (Everyone Looks at Prince C weirdly and then gets back to what they were doing) Ok guys now do you see where I’m coming from, (In a fierce tone) everything has to be as beautiful as this!!!! This needs to be perfect in every way! Let’s use some pinks and blues and purples, you want to know why we use Pinks, Blues and Purples….. BECAUSE THEY ARE THE FIERCEST COLORS OF ALL TIME!! Now get back to work and make it beautiful. I have to go check on my suite and see if it’s Sassy enough.
Cast: The Milk, The Orange Juice, The eggs, and Salsa
Setting: In the fridge.
EGGS: Oh my gosh milk you are so cool.
MILK: I know you don't need to tell me that!( being sassy)
(a person opens the fridge door and grabs the milk!)
O.J: oh my gosh milk gets used every day. he is so cool.
( Every time someone uses milk he becomes less and less cool and more nerdy)
MILK: hey guys! whats up!
SALSA: What happened to you senor (in spanish accent)
MILK nothing I'm still as cool as always
EGGS: no your not, you changed now you're more nerdy
O.J: ya you’ve changed.
MILK: no i haven't
(A person opens the fridge and takes the orange juice)
SALSA:now O.J gets to be used, when will it be my turn.
(Every time someone uses O.J she gets more nerdy)
O.J: oh my goodness that was so cool.
EGGS: what happened to you!
SALSA: no you’re different.
EGGS: Maybe every time one of us gets used we become less cool.
(a person opens the fridge and takes the eggs)
SALSA: no mi amigo.
( eggs come back nerdy)
SALSA: what have they done with you!!!
EGGS: am i nerdy?
(a person opens the fridge and takes salsa)
SALSA: I will gladly go, we will all be nerdy together!
(Salsa comes back even cooler than before)
MILK: why aren't you nerdy like us
SALSA: because salsa can very be nerdy!
Cast: Suzie Larry, Karen, Joe and Steve
Setting: at Suzie’s house
SUZIE: Let's play the lava game!!
(they all jump around from couch to couch)
LARRY: NO I’m going to fall in…
(larry slowly falls in)
JOE: I'll save you !
(joe reaches out to save Larry but fall in too!)
KAREN: NO JOE I LOVE YOU!!!
(everyone stares at karen even the dead people)
KAREN: I mean I loth you, i never got back at him for pushing me in last time.
SUZIE: let’s get back to the game!
STEVE: Ya…… CANNONBALL!!!!
SUZIE: I’m going to win this karen!!!
KAREN :No i am
(they got to fight But suzie takes a misstep and falls into the lava .
KAREN: ha i won for the first time!!! IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!!
(Everyone's tummies grumble)
STEVE: I'm hungry, let's go eat.
(Everyone mumbles ya, or me to)
Cast: The Batman 1, Batman 2, Batman 3, The real Batman
Setting: in a store and 3 men dressed as batman want the last batman video.(they are all speaking in a batman voice.)
1: Dude I get the last batman video sweet!!
2: oh No i want the video.
3: nooooo i want it.
1: ok we'll just have a batman off.
3: good plan because im obvious the best batman here.
2: no i am
THE REAL BATMAN: uh hi guys
2: get out of the way citizen we are having a batman off!
REAL: But i’m the real batman. (not raspy)
1: oh really, than do the batman voice.
REAL: Okay how is this. (raspy)
3: you sound nothing like batman:
REAL: well i am the real batman
2: no your not you liar liar pants on fire
(2,3,and 1 walk away )
REAL: wow that was crazy
RANDOM PERSON: omg you're batman
REAL: yes i am
R.P: can i get an autograph.
(Stage goes black)
Title: The Wall
Characters: Humpty dumpty: Very frustrated and mad.
Humpty dumpty: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall? Humpty dumpty had a great fall? Is that all they could think of? Why didn’t anyone notice? The king's men really know how to make a story! First off where they showed the king I where I “fell” , I was nowhere near a wall! I was by a freakin river! Those kings men can get real grumpy! Don’t ever mess with them…I learned from that!
All I wanted to do was going swimming one day, and of course those kings men wouldn’t let me go into the water(air quotes) It’s the king's order that we can only swim. What bull crap right? I wasn’t going to allow them to boss me around so I jumped in anyway!
What a mistake that was…Next thing I knew they were dragging me down by my ear and kicking and punching me all at once! Then they blamed it on a stupid wall. I really hate those kings men..
Title: But baby its cold outside
Nicky: (laying on bed) Agh…I don’t want to go to get ready, I don’t want to go to school, and I most certainly don’t want to get out of bed. I’m so sick of this! (Gets out of bed stomping around getting clothes.
Bed: Then stay home and stay with me all day. (Nicky screams)
Nicky: Beds don’t talk! Oh my gosh! I must be dreaming!
Bed: Nicky, Nicky calm down! Beds can talk. I just haven’t said anything because I was scared you were gonna act just like this! (Screams again.) Okay…Stop let’s just sit down for a little bit. (Nicky goes to sit on a chair, but stops and looks at it funny)
Nicky: Wait are you gonna tell me that chairs talk to?
Bed: (laughs) Oh course not! Why would chairs talk? Haha that would be so weird.
Nicky: right… (Sits on chair)
Bed: So Nicky stay home with me…relax. One day away from school won’t hurt you!
Nicky: I need to go to school. Enough talking to my bed for one day.
Bed: Nicky don’t go! Baby its cold outside.
Nicky: but I really need to go to school.
Bed: but baby its cold outside.
Nicky: K. No. Shut up bed.
Bed: Nicky. Please stay it gets lonely. (Has a sad face)
Nicky: (Looks at bed) I guess one day won’t matter, and it is pretty chilly. (Lays on bed) I love you bed! Thanks for always being there for me! (Nicky sleeps. lights go out. Lights back on. Nicky wakes up) Bed what a nice dream. (No answer) bed? Bed? Oh…it was a dream…Well there’s still no reason for me to leave! I can miss one day of school! (Goes back to sleep)
Title: Gaga Mix up
Sophie Joe Anderson
Doctor: She’s Awake! She’s Awake! Someone call her family!
Sophie: Where am I? I should be at my concert right now.
Doctor: What concert do you remember who you are;.
Sophie: Yah. I’m lady gaga duh.
Doctor: Wow that must have really been a doozy of an accident.
Sophie: What are you talking about?
Doctor: You are not Lady Gaga. Your name is Sophie Joe Anderson, you are 23 years old, and you live in a small town called Sidney Texas.
Sophie: Where’s my meat costume. I should be wearing it now. I need to be at my concert. (Radio turn on to poker face)
Sophie: ppp Poker Face pp Poker face.
Doctor: Nurse! Get in here!
Title: That shirt is mine
Characters: Girl 1
All the girls are picking up clothes and looking at them. Girls are coming and going with their new outfits. Girl 1 and two pick up the same exact shirt. They start fighting about who get the shirt. Finally all the girls are surrounding them cheering the girls on. Girl one get the shirt and starts running away. Girl two jumps on her back and they both fall to the ground.
Title: Let's Cook
Setting: cooking set
Characters: Mr. snap:
Mr. Snap and Mrs pot are stirring furiously. Putting in ingredients fast. Not taking their time. Cookie is taking his time, cleaning up his mess, in no hurry. Mr snap pulls out a huge thing of food and makes it look good. Mrs. pot pulls out something that already looks good but starts putting topping on it. Cookie pulls out one single cookie and places it on a plate.
As the other two are working hard, cookie sits on a chair and reads a magazine. A timer goes off and the two puts their hand up and backs away from their dishes. Cookie goes and stands by his plate.
All the judges go to Mr snaps and look disappointed about how it looks. They taste it and look very pleased. All the judges go to Mrs. Pot and look at it pleased, but taste it and spit it out or look disgusted. Finally they go to cookie. They look at it confused but taste it. All the judges look so happy and excited.
One of the judges raise cookies arm showing that he won.
Title: The Real Heros of Today
Who are the heros? Is it Super Man? Is it Spider Man? All those Marvel Characters? The ones we see in the movies or magazines. The ones who are fighting crimes from outer space, and trying to keep the City of New York Safe. Are those really the heros?
Or is it the people who wake up every morning ready to do whatever it takes to keep this country safe? They give us freedoms. They protect our homeland, our nation, the U.S.A. They do it so we can be safe.
So who are the real heros? Because mine sure don't have unrealistic super powers. Mine have courage, are strong, and brave. Mine are like no other person. Mine are the arm force fighting for the U.S.A. And they are the real superheros.
Setting: out side
Tommy: Ready set go. (sammy and tommy fly around the stage. Racing around)
Sammy: Come on Tommy speed up. hahaha.
Tommy: What are you talking about i'm ahead of you! Whoa...What is that?
Sammy: I don't know...Let's go check it out!
Tommy: I don't think that's a good idea.
Sammy: It's so bright!
Tommy: Sammy you're too close.
(sammy touches bug zapper.)
Bug zapper: ZAP
Tommy: Sammy! No!
Bug zapper: Tommy come to me!
Bug zapper: But look how bright i am.
Tommy: Yes i know your beautiful.
Bug zapper: Come to me.
(tommy touches the bug zapper)
Setting: streets of new york
People of the streets:
Random Citizen: Oh my gosh! He's stealing our money! (Everyone starts screaming and running around. Thor walks in)
It's okay now! Thor is here! (Everyone starts cheering)
Thor: I will save your money random citizens of new york. (Iron man drops in)
Iron man: Or I could save them. (robber starts running away with money bag. Iron man shoots him to ground. He drops the bag)
Thor: You always do this! Its my turn! (Runs over to robber and grabs his arm) Time to go to jail.
Iron man: Excuse me but I did all the work. (Grabs other arm and does a tuggawar on the robber)
Thor: he mine.
Iron man: no hes mine.
Random citizen: Fight! Fight! Fight! (Everyone joins in. Iron man and Thor start to fight one another. Throwing things. shooting one another. Robber grabs bag of money and runs off with it. Iron man and Thor don't notice and keep fighting)
Random citizen: Hey he ran off with our money! What kind of super heros are you! Get them! (Thor and iron man look at eachother, then run from the crowd of angry people.)
33 Shrek, Lord farquaad’s
(In his castle Lord Farquaad looks at Duloc below. He is in deep thought thinking of what he can add to make duloc better.)
Lord Farquaad: (to himself) Duloc truly is a beautiful place! Well of course it is with me as the king! There is nothing anyone can do to make it better! (Looks down for a moment still in deep thought) Well now I have to add a queen to the mix of such a beautiful city. I would prefer to run it all to myself. I guess if that’s what the kingdom needs I will make a sacrifice.
(Guard walks in on Lord Farquaad)
Guard: my lord Farquaad your kingdom is very concerned on the… umm… man you chose to rescue the princess. Shrek was his name if I can remember.
Lord Farquaad: Are you questioning my choices now Guard?
Guard: no sir! We all were so curious…
(Cuts the guard off)
Lord Farquaad: all I have given this kingdom and this is all you want to talk to me about!
Guard: My lord a hundred apologies
Lord Farquaad: No! Keep questioning my power! I know I may seem like a bad guy, but when you have this power you have to be a bad guy. (Storms around the room)
Lord Farquaad: (looks out the window, sobbing a little.) All I have given you and the whole kingdom. My father doesn’t even like me that much! Mostly because I tried to still his kingdom by poisoning him, but still!
Guard: (nervously tries to leave) I’m going to go now…
Lord Farquaad: It doesn’t even matter when the princess is rescued she can do all the hard work.
34 Are you president snow?
(The scene starts out with Donald Shouting at people to vote for Trump, when Bob walks on stage)
Bob: (talking to Donald) Excuse me, do you have the time?
Donald: (somewhat cocky) Excuse me? Do you know who I am?
Bob: Umm… not really no.
Donald: Are you serious? One day I’m going to be the leader of America! How do you not know me?
Bob: (face lights up) Wow! I know who are now!
Bob: Yes! You are President Snow from the Hunger Games! Wow you were great in that movie!
Donald: No! I am Donald Trump! How did you not know that?
Bob: Donald Trump? (puzzled) yeah no I’m sure your name in the hunger games was President Snow.
Donald: No! I'm going to be the president of america.
Bob:So you are president snow. Hey its president snow! (Points at donald looking for people passing to notice.)
Donald: I don't have time for this.
Bob:Well It was nice to meet you President Snow. (Shakes hand abruptly. Leaves.) ( Curtains Close)
( It is the VMA’s and Miley thinks she is Nikki Minaj and Nicki thinks she is Miley Cyrus. Oprah is trying to solve the conflict since she happens to be there.)
Miley: Some girl thinks that she can just go behind my back on social media and talk crap on me. Miley what’s good?
Nikki: Ok now let's not twist things around. You know how the social media spreads things around.
Oprah:Ladies please. Looks like we got a bit of a mix up here. You both got your identities mixed up. Miley you are acting like Nicki, and Nicki you are acting like Miley.
NIcki: Well ever since we watched so many VMA’s remakes we got our identities mixed up.
Miley: I mean I just I am so jealous she can actually sing and I can't.
Oprah: This is strange. i have only had a few cases like this the only way to stop this a rap battle. Nicki please go first.
(looks at Nicki and Miley steps up, Oprah looks disappointed)
Miley: Jelly in my belly you don't even know for relly. This so swelly go and eat some jelly. What.
Nicki: Ay yo Nicki you ask me what’s good. I will tell you what is good. I got a snake in my boot. And you have a stinky foot. I am gonna pull this on like a root. what.
Miley: Oh my goodness I know who I am.
Nicki: Yes I am finally free!
Oprah:I am glad that we got this all solved.
(The end. Curtains close.)
36 Space Travel
(the scene starts with a women talking to the audience on the stage)
Mary: Hi, ladies and gentlemen! I am Mary today i will take you on a trip to space! We will see stars and soar through the galaxies! You will get a feel of what space travel could be like.
(the curtains close and open to 3 people pretending to put on space gear)
person 1: I’m so pumped for space travel! make sure your gear is tightly secure! we would not want any problems!
(They all finish getting gear on and sit in the rocketship)
Person 2: systems are a go. we are ready for take off
(the rocket starts, all of the 3 people began to make rocket noise and person 2 begins to steer the rocket)
Person 3: We have now left the earth. We are all ready to leave the ship
(All 3 slowly get off the ship. they take big steps, than soon exit the ship and are in space. They began to glide and swim through the air.)
Person 1: Look at all those stars they are just amazing!
(points to the back and person 2 and 3 stare in awe.)
Person 2: Wow look the moon!
(they all swim towards the right of the stage)
(they go for another minutes walking on stage as if they were in space. looking and pointing. jumping and making heavy breathing noises. Than the radio goes off)
Mary: Astronauts this is Mary from the space station. We need you all to return to the ship and head home.
(all head to the ship and head back)
37 Tennis match
(the scene starts with a narrator talking about the tennis match. 2 other people stand on opposite sides of each other jumping getting ready. Pretends to have a tennis racket and one has a ball)
Narrator: Welcome everyone! Today we are watching the very intense game of tennis! Let the games begin!
(The two tennis players begin. person on the right serves. the rally the ball back and forth. narrator talks while they play)
Narrator: wow look at that serve! Beautiful! They are playing fiercely!
(The players grunt and swing their rackets playing)
Narrator: Wow looks like left team is taking the lead!
(left person takes the lead and wins, right person starts crying)
narrator: left team wins
38 Magic Medicine
(the scene starts with Ringo and Riena, best friends. Ringo is sick and Reina has some ideas to help. Set in later 1800’s in small village.)
Reina: Ringo we have to go to the party tonight! I am dying to go!
Ringo: (sits up from bed, looking up and around very weak and sick) technically I am dying. (very dramatic) I have a fever of 101! I can’t party!
Reina: Are you serious! (somewhat frustrated) You really can’t be sick! The whole village will be at that party! If my best friend can’t go!
Ringo: Oh Reina you can go to the party without me! (falls down, super sick, looking miserable)
Reina: You want me to go to a party all alone! (pacing the room thinking of an idea)
Reina: I got it! In the woods There is a plant that can cool down the body! Let's go!
Ringo: Reina I can barely sit up! Let alone go to the woods!
Reina: Ringo you lack adventure! (Reina walks out the door) I will go all by myself!
(Reina leaves Ringo lays down moments later reina comes on stage)
Reina: (out of breath) I got it! I got it! Had to wrestle a fox and I fell in a hole, but I have it!
Ringo: (fast asleep)
Reina: (looks at Ringo) Ugh all of that and this is what i get!
Reina: I guess it would not hurt to miss one party! (falls asleep)
(the scene starts with Procrastinator sitting at an interrogating table, the cop is asking question)
Cop: (very serious) So where do you think is causing the crimes?
Procrastinator: Um well sir. (stands up) I guess you could say i'm the best at my job. My only flaw is that i don’t do my job until I feel like it. Which usually is never.
Cop: (stands and has a thinking face) Yes the FBI told me you were great at your job, but procrastination doesn't get the job done. We need someone up and alert.
Procrastinator: (yawns) yeah you know what? I am so tired! All this talk of crime is stressing me out and taking away from my me time.
Cop: Procrastinator please! We need all the help we can get! This case won’t crack itself! If you don’t help us we will have to go into overtime! Please!
Procrastinator: Okay give me the file and I will read it when I am ready. Which could be now or a week from now.
(Cop gives Procrastinator the file and Procrastinator leaves the building)
(next morning, cop is sitting at the table looking at the file)
Procrastinator:(walks up to the cop) thought you would be here. (throws file on the table)
Cop: what’s this?
Procrastinator:: The case. I got bored last night after watching like 3 seasons of tv shows and
decided to do the case.
Cop: this case had over a year of work in it and you got it done in one night?
Procrastinator: (looking out the window) Don't ever underestimate the power of procrastination… I can either do 1 year of work in one night or 1 night of work in a year.
(Scene starts with Queen Aryana sitting on her throne/chair, center stage looking worried)
Servant: My queen! The army has won the war that took place today across the water. Lives were lost, but safe to say we will survive for a while.
(Queen sits up straight, still worried)
Queen: What about the people? How are they holding up?
Servant: the Villagers are doing alright, some are still waiting upon the return of their men.
Queen: Make sure they have food and water. We need to plan for winter soon. Harvest will be upon us soon. Knowing that more war could happen.
(Queen stands up and paces the room)
Servant: I will inform everyone. Soon as possible.
Queen: I don’t know if we can live through another war. The last few attacks have taken a toll on everyone.
(Stops for a second)
Queen: The king was much better at warfare than me. Rest his soul.
Servant: My queen you do your job better than any queen or king I have ever met. And I have met a lot.
Queen: Thank you very much! I wish i believed it.
Servant: Why do you think that?
Queen: So many people died today and will die.
Servant: My lady people will always die in war that is nature. Don’t worry they died doing something they love. Their kingdom.
Sebastian Verlac (Jonathan Morgenstern)
SEBASTIAN: Valentine never loved me. He was always proud of the other son Jace. I aspire to be like my father. No, to be more than him, more than he ever will be. I alone created a new race of shadowhunters, a race to “cleanse” the world of the pathetic, weak ones there are now. Lilith has brought me back to finish her work, to make the world her’s. I plan to have her by my side, my sister Clary that is. She will be there with me when her world is destroyed and the portal to her world is closed for good. Clary tells me I don’t know how to love when I know I’ve shown her love. I’m willing to do anything for her. Anything to make her the queen of Edom. Agreeing to her terms of course to let her friends live…..for now. She knows I won’t keep my word until certain standards are obtained.
Little mermaid: Ursula’s
URSULA: They think they have it bad with love, just wait til I tell them my story and then we’ll see who has it bad. I admit when I was a young octopus woman, I was smitten with the young prince Trident. Every girl in the sea was. There was a line out the palace doors on his 18th birthday, which was also his coronation day. Girls were lined up and waiting for the new king to choose that special girl. He swam up and down the long line stopping every now and again to ask a mergirls name. He swam past me towards the end of the line, stopped all of a sudden, and came back to the other side of the line. I kept my head turned down, I knew he wouldn’t be interested in a petty octopus woman. A shadow towered over me. He did stop in front of me. He asked me my name, how far I’d come. I told him what he wanted to know and he asked if I could take a swim with him. At that point I could only nod my head and followed him along the back of the palace. We talked for hours and hours getting to know each other. He invited me back the next day to spend the next day together as well. I was ecstatic! The next day I swam as there as fast as I could. But when I got there, he was swimming around with another mermaid! i couldn’t believe it! After all that time getting to know each other he went and found another girl. (scoffs and walks off stage)
Point of view from a piece of gum
I’m everywhere… On the floor, the wall, the ceiling, under tables, chairs, you name it I’m there! I’m don’t make it to the garbage sometimes and I tag along with someone on the bottom of their shoe all day. I get stuck in people’s hair, in their pockets, it’s disgusting. People just use me practically 24/7. They chew me up and spit me out all the time. I’m overused and I need a break from being gnawed on! People are relentless with me. They can’t enough of my minty or fruity flavors and they need me all the time. You don’t know how many times I’ve suffered through horribly bad breath just to help someone that’s desperate for that fresh clean feeling that everyone says I have. Even after my flavors gone away they still chew me! Whenever that happens I’m begging they to just spit me out in the garbage and send me along my miserable way. This is the life of a piece of gum.
H1: What should we do today? ( sitting on a couch next to friend )
H2:( lists random things to do )
H1: What about a hike? There’s trails just a couple miles away.
H2: Alright, let’s go
(they drive to trails)
( both get out of car and head towards entrances )
H2: Let’ s take the easiest one, and I know for a fact it’s the one on the right.
H1: How would you know you never hike.
H2: I do too. Every couple years…..
H1: Fine we’ll take the one on the right.
( they hike along )
H2: ( acts like they’ve gotten idea ) let’s go off the trail for a bit! (H1: gives a worried look) come on it’ll be fun.
H1: Alright fine. See if there’s anywhere we can get in.
( both look on trail side for opening)
H1: Found one, come on!
(both walk to bottom of a little hill and walk on for a little when they hear rustling from bushes around them. H2 jumps into arms of H1)
H1: What was that?!
H2: How would I know??
(more rustling from bushes, both scream and run off)
#45 Superhero playing sports
( Thor is seen on a field with hawkeye, captain, and black widow, getting ready to start a game of kickball )
T: So how exactly does this kicking of the ball work?
BW: Asgardians, don’t know anything
CA: You’ve been here how long and you don’t know how?? I was frozen for 70 years and I know how to play!
H: Come on T I’ll show ya
( H steps up to a plate to show and tell T basic rules and what to do )
BW: Give it a go hammer man
( CA and BW are in outfield waiting while T and H are preparing at home base. T kicks ball, CA and BW start to run to get ball but realize they can’t find it )
CA: Maybe we should try a different game….
setting: parking garage
The stage is set like an old parking garage. Two people, OLIVIA and SCOTT, stand in the middle of the room. OLIVIA looks away from SCOTT knowing she can’t bring herself to end it this way. SCOTT tries to look at her but can’t. He takes her shoulders and leans his head against hers. OLIVIA clings to SCOTT for just a few more seconds before she look up at him. SCOTT nods his head and she walks to the other side of the stage. She turns around to look at SCOTT one last time before she raises the gun.
#47 Superhero going to therapist
( superman is seen sitting on a couch next to his therapist )
T: How has this week been for you?
S: (sighs) This week has been more stressful than most. I had to bare the weight of the world on my shoulders…. literally.
( therapist scribbles on notepad )
S: The people depend on me too much..
T: And how does that make you feel?
S: Well it makes me feel…. well, I feel….
T: Yes, and how does that make you feel?
Setting: Thor going to the doctors office
Thor is sitting in the waiting room next to Captain America, he looks really nervous.
CA: Don’t worry it’s not like they‘re gonna stick you with any needles.
Thor looks even more nervous
CA: Don’t worry they won’t. It’s just a routine check up.
doctor calls thors name and he stands up with Cap. They walk into room with the doctor.
D: All sir, roll up your sleeve. Going to give you some shots.
Thor tries to run out but is held down by CA.
Ethan: real grandchild
Eli: mistaken child
Setting: At a park bench, with a playground behind it. A grandmother and her grandson enter stage. The grandson goes to play with the other kids. The grandmother sits on the bench. A boy with similar looks approaches the grandmother.
GRANDMA: Come on Ethan it’s time to go.
(boy stares at her and doesn’t move)
GRANDMA: I know you don’t want to come home Ethan but we have to go your mom will be
coming to pick you up soon.
ELI: But I’m not . . .
GRANDMA: It is time to go come on. (takes boy by the hand and starts dragging him
( they walk across the stage/ they walk home.)
GRANDMA: Now you need to go and clean up your toys.
ELI: But i’. . .
GRANDMA: (cutting across him) What is wrong with you are you feeling alright?
ELI: YOU'RE NOT MY GRANDMA!
GRANDMA: (Shocked silence as she stares at him)\
PLAY # 50
SETTING: In a large pine forest. Trees are standing around.
(Trees stand around lightly swaying in the wind. Soon flames come on and the trees wither and fall. The flames burn for awhile, and then disperse. The flames leave behind a pile of ash that soon sprouts tiny little trees which slowly grow back into large trees.)
SETTING: In a kitchen a girl is making spaghetti.
Girl puts the raw noodles in the boiling water. (people appear on the opposite side of the stage looking stiff and standing as straight as possible. As time goes on the noodles will slowly get softer and softer) The girl stirs the noodles. (People on the other side swirl around and weave in and out of each other) The noodles are done and everyone exits the stage.
SETTING: In a flower garden.
GIRL: What a beautiful day I think I will go pick some flowers. (walks over to the flowers)
(smells all the flowers making faces when she smells some of them like they smell bad)
FLOWER 1: Oh I hope that monster goes away without picking any of us!
FLOWER 2: Just think small don’t look pretty and she won't pick you(makes funny face)
(all flowers start making weird faces)
GIRL: (Steps back looking at the flowers) I think I want you (picks a flower FLOWER
screams) and you (picks another flower, FLOWER bursts into tears) and you
(picks last flower who looks horrified but is silent) (little girl skips off stage)
FLOWER 1: That’s it we can't go on like this!
FLOWER 3: I can’t believe these people think they own us and can just pull us out of the
ground whenever they want but we won't stand for it. Not anymore
FLOWER 2: I say we fight back now what can we do to get back at these evil humans.
FLOWER 3: I don't know we are just flowers. . . think what is the worst thing we can do. . .
(silence for a few seconds)
FLOWER 2: I’ve got it! It will take real sacrifice and commitment but it will sure show them.
FLOWER 1: I think we are all willing to do whatever it takes for the cause.
FLOWER 2: Ok here it is I am going to count to three and on the count of three we all die. one. .
. two. . . three!
(all the flowers flop over and act dead)
GIRL: (comes back on stage looks at the flowers shrugs and skips away without a care in
SETTING: In the city of London standing beside a busy street.
CAPTAIN ENGLAND: Your time is up MRS ATROCIOUS
MRS ATROCIOUS: Do you really think. . . or are you actually naive enough to believe
that you can defeat me.
CAPTAIN ENGLAND: I know. . . (dingdong) oh would you look at that it’s tea time. There’s
a nice little tea shop right there. Care to go in.
MRS ATROCIOUS: I would be delighted!
(walk over to the tea shop and sit down at a little outdoor table (two people are chairs one person is the table) they order tea and a waiter brings it out to them)
MRS ATROCIOUS: Would you please pass the sugar.
CAPTAIN ENGLAND: Of course! I would be delighted.
(both stir their tea and take a long sip. They then look at each other spring up from their seats and walk back to the center of the stage.)
CAPTAIN ENGLAND: As I was saying before I know I can beat you because I have
something you don’t.
MRS ATROCIOUS: Really and what is that.
CAPTAIN ENGLAND: A nose! No, no I’m just kidding Harry Potter joke. but really I have
(people come in making siren noises and grab MRS ATROCIOUS)
MRS ATROCIOUS: Noooooooo!
SETTING: In a store at a rack of shoes.
Person stands there trying to pick out a pair of new shoes. They look for a while and inspect all the pairs then they pick a pair to try on. (Shoes wrap themselves around the person's leg like how little kids do) They are too big so he takes them off and tries another pair, and then another pair. The third pair fits so the person takes the shoes. Pays for them and puts them on and walks off stage.(the shoes are hanging onto his legs like little kids)
SETTING: At a support group for the superheroes with useless powers.
THE SHOE UN-TIE-R: Hi I’m THE SHOE UN-TIE-R
EVERYONE: Hi Shoe Un-tie-r
THE SHOE UN-TIE-R: Well if you couldn’t tell from my name my power is to untie shoes
with my mind. Some of you might be thinking well that's a good trick for people you want to fall down and stuff but it only works on my own shoes.
(people give him sympathetic looks as THE SHOE UNTIER sits down.)
JANET: Hi I’m JANET
EVERYONE: Hi Janet
JANET: Well my power is so bad I don’t even get a cool name. I have X-Ray vision,
I know you're all thinking that's so cool what does she have to complain
about. Well I may have X-Ray vision but it only works if I’m looking through water.
(people wince as if in pain and whisper about how bad it must be)
BACKSPEED: Hi I’m Backspeed
EVERYONE: Hi BACKSPEED
BACKSPEED; Well I can run really fast. . . but I’m only fast when running backwards.
It really doesn't work because I usually just run into things but ya. . . I’m
pretty useless I guess.
SQUEAKERS: Well folks I’m SQUEAKERS and before we run out of time I would like to
say something. I can only make my voice change to high pitches. It was pretty bad at first but I made it through. I would just like to tell you all that even though we are all useless we have each other and whenever you're feeling bad for yourself just remember you are no more useless than the rest of us.
(silence as people can’t decide whether to be offended or to take it nicely)
SHOE: All day I just get stepped on. People walk all over me it’s like they think I don’t
have feelings. They stick their gross feet in me and don’t even watch where they
step. . . (pause as if physiatrist is saying and how does that make you feel) I don’t
know doctor I guess it makes me feel like. . like i’m completely worthless. It just
makes me feel like a piece of trash and I wonder why I even go on. . . No, I don’t
see much down here so I guess my view on the world is pretty narrow. I usually
just see the other shoes sometimes we stick close enough we can talk to each
other for awhile. Other times I just catch glimpses of them. Sometimes I see a
new pair of shoes filled with hope and happiness and I want to warn them but I
can never bring myself to damper their spirits. Besides what can they do there is
no other life for a shoe. . .
57 A Sticky Situation (inanimate monologue)
Setting: In a Shrink’s office, present day
STICKERS reclines on a sofa, a psychiatrist sits nearby, making notes on a clipboard.
STICKERS: (sighs) Well, Doc, I don’t know where to start. There’s this girl and she is… the worst. She pulls me apart, uses me, then throws me away like I’m nothing! I’m supposed to help keep things together and put smiles on people’s faces. I cheer them on! Some people think I’m childish, or I’m just for kindergarten teachers, but I like to make people happy. I say things like “Way to go!” or “Awesome!” And what does this girl use me for? Sarcastic remarks. She shoves me on stuff and forces me to stay there. Someone’s forehead, a paper, a shirt, she’ll stick me anywhere! Then whatever she sticks me on is thrown away or I’m pulled off and ruined. I’m destined for the garbage. And not just the cool, colorful parts of me, but my back, too. I’ll be gone one day, and she’ll just treat me like garbage. Literally! She doesn’t even consider other uses for me. I mean, there aren’t really any other uses for me, but I can dream, can’t I? For once, I want her to use me to make someone’s day. Give me to a kid or something, lady! I’ve got a stick-to-it spirit and I’ll stay as long as I can. I know one day I’ll lose that part of myself, but does she have to use me like that? I can make people’s days, but she won’t let me. I didn’t chose this for myself. I sat in a box, forgotten, and she found me. I thought she’d use me for good things, or she’d use me period, but I feel like she forgets I’m even there. Sometimes she’ll take me out, but she’s really sarcastic when she does. If I could have even a 5 year old instead of her, my life would be better. She just gives me away like I’m nothing… Being a page of stickers sucks.
#58 Starbucks and Selfies and Snapchat, Oh My! (inanimate monologue)
Setting: in a pocket, present day.
IPHONE sits on the stage, alone.
IPHONE: (sarcastically) She hasn’t taken me out in a whole minute. I’m so proud. (rolls eyes) Seriously, it’s like she can’t go anywhere without checking Instagram every 3 seconds. I don’t even want to talk about how many selfies she takes… Actually, yes I do. She took 41 yesterday. 41! and that’s without all the ones she deleted and the snapchats she sends to her crush and BFF. I know all of her business. Who she likes, who her best friend is, her favorite starbucks drink, how many times she deletes selfies because the lighting is weird. No one needs to know that much about anyone. She uses me so much, I literally die before the day is over. Hey, guess what, lady. There’s this thing called a book. It’s made out of paper and it doesn’t shatter every time you drop it! Read one sometime. Or try actually talking to someone in person. No one cares about your grande pumpkin spice frappuccino. It’s not like you don’t know that, I mean you never like anyone else’s starbucks pics unless they got the name wrong. (sighs) At least I’m in a pocket today. Those losers in the purse know just how to push my buttons.
#59 Love; the Number One Killer of Flowers
Setting: a meadow, present day.
3 or 4 Flowers stand stage right, swaying the breeze. Couple comes on stage left and hold hands. Flowers look at the couple and smile. Boy sees the flowers, holds up a finger to the girl and moves towards flowers. Flowers start to panic. Boy goes up to one and picks it up, the other flowers scream in horror, the picked flower starts to cry. Boy shows flower to Girl. Girl puts hands over heart and smiles in thanks to Boy. They start to exit. Flowers scream until the Couple is completely off stage.
#60 One of those days (action play)
Setting: A classroom with 4 seats and desks, present day.
Teacher stands stage right. Stage left has desks full except for one. Desks and students sit facing teacher. Bell rings from off stage. Student 1 runs onstage. They look at the teacher. Teacher shakes head at student and points to the empty desk. Student sighs and sits down. Teacher turns their back to the students and starts to pantomime writing on a white board. Student 2 puts their head on their desk and falls asleep. Teacher turns around and stares at the sleeping student. Teacher walks to Student 2’s desk and stomps loudly. Student 2 sits up quickly. they notice the teacher and look at their desk. Teacher goes back to the board. Student 3 stands up and does the pee pee dance. they raise their hand. Teacher rolls eyes and gestures to the door. Student 3 leaves. Student 4 raises hand immediately after Student 3 is gone. Teacher shakes head. Student looks angry and sulks. Bell rings again off stage. Students get up and leave. As soon as all the students leave, Teacher clasps hands together, looks up, and mouths thank you.
61 (narration of same play) Homecoming
NARRATOR: This is a story about 3 best friends named Cammy, Tammy, and Sammy. Cammy has liked Todd for 4 years. Tammy thinks Todd is a great guy, but Sammy can’t stand him. (Cammy, Tammy, and Sammy walk on stage) One day, these friends are walking down the school hall together. Suddenly, Cammy remembers something; Todd asked her to Homecoming last night. (Cammy stops and gestures for Tammy and Sammy to come closer) When she tells her friends, Tammy starts freaking out with happiness, but Sammy stares at Cammy like she suddenly grew 2 arms that have started arm wrestling with each other. (characters do what narrator says) Cammy is embarrassed that her friends reacted that way to her news. She starts making her way back down the hall. (Cammy starts walking) Then, she notices Todd. (enter Todd) He’s walking down the hall, in her direction. He hasn’t noticed her yet. Cammy is frozen to the spot, staring at Todd. Unbeknownst to Cammy, Tammy is getting ready to attack hug her from behind. Tammy pounces when Todd finally notices Cammy standing there. (Tammy pushes Cammy into Todd) Tammy knocks Cammy into Todd, not entirely accidentally. Todd is really happy to see Cammy, because he likes her just as much as she likes him. (Todd smiles) Cammy, however, is mortified and runs away as fast as she possibly can. (Cammy runs off stage. Tammy follows her, laughing loudly.) Sammy makes sure that Todd knows how much she wants to punch him in the face before following her friends down the hall. (Sammy glares at Todd, then exits) Todd was utterly confused by that entire encounter, and he’s not good at hiding it.(Todd gapes in the direction the girls left in.) And that’s the end of the story of Cammy, Sammy, Tammy, and Todd.
#62(dramatic play of choice) Overly Dramatic Soap Opera
Setting: in an overly furnished house, present day
GLORIA and RAMONE stand center stage, surrounded by furniture. AMANDA stands in the corner, somewhat hidden by furniture.
RAMONE: We can’t keep seeing each other like this, Gloria.
GLORIA: (turns away from him) We can’t keep seeing each other at all, Ramone.
AMANDA gasps. neither of the main characters notice.
RAMONE: (turning her around) why not? what did I do to make you say this, Gloria?
GLORIA: (ripping herself from his arms) I found out something about you, Ramone. I know that you did it. Just come clean.
RAMONE: You’re more clever than I gave you credit for. You’re right. I killed your father.
AMANDA gasps again. RAMONE and GLORIA look around without moving, confused, then continue.
GLORIA: Although that is awful, I was talking about something else. I know you broke my phone.
AMANDA gasps a third time. RAMONE and GLORIA look around the stage again, trying to find the source of the sound, before continuing to the next line.
RAMONE: It was an accident, Gloria. We all do things we regret right now I regret being with you. Goodbye forever, Gloria.
RAMONE leaves. GLORIA starts laughing.
GLORIA: I’m not really Gloria. I’m her twin, Tina!
AMANDA gasps a fourth time.
GLORIA: (looks at Amanda) SHUT UP, AMANDA. (she exits)
63 (dramatic play of choice) A Very Important Date
Setting: a park, present day
The stage has 3 trees and 2 park benches on it. NINA enters and sits on one of the park benches. She looks at her wrist, than around her. She looks disappointed and puts her head in her hands. After a moment, she stands up and gets ready to leave. TOM walks on stage. NINA looks at him with an exasperated expression. TOM walks up to her and places his hands on her shoulders, but NINA shoves them off and turns away. TOM puts his hand on her shoulder, she turns toward him, shakes her head and starts to cry. TOM looks worried and tries to comfort her. She pushes him away and runs off stage away from him. He looks after her. He pulls something out of his pocket, looks at it, and throws it towards the trees. He sinks to the ground and puts his head in his hands.
Setting: In a house, present day
IZZY is sitting on a couch, on her phone. A sound of a door being knock on comes from off stage. IZZY looks up and walks to the door. Enter GIGI.
IZZY: Gigi! this is a surprise. what are you doing here?
GIGI: I need to talk to you. It’s important.
IZZY: okay, why don’t you sit down?
IZZY leads GIGI to the couch and sits down with her.
GIGI: (hesitating) it’s your brother.
IZZY: (suddenly on edge) What happened?
GIGI: you know how I work at the hospital, right? (she waits until Izzy nods to continue) Well, there was a patient who had gotten in a very bad car accident. He was injured enough that the doctor couldn’t get his name. They asked me to try to find out. I went into the room and… (deep breath) it was your brother. (She notices Izzy’s terrified expression and rushes her next words) His condition was stable when I left. I’m sure he’ll be fine…
They hear the sound of GIGI’s phone ringing and both jump. GIGI stands up and walks to the side of the stage.
GIGI: Hello? (waits as if hearing something) Yes, I know, sir. (waits again, and she gasps and covers her mouth. After a moment she starts on the next line) I’m with her right now.(stops) Yes. Thank you, Doctor. Goodbye. (hangs up)
IZZY: (alarmed) what happened.
GIGI: (turns around slowly) I’m sorry, Izzy.
IZZY falls off the couch and onto her knees, shaking her head. She starts to sob. GIGI goes to comfort her.
The dwarves are in the Enchanted Forest, sleeping at the bed of snow white.
Prince enters the stage with doc as sleepy wakes up.
(Sneezy wakes up and sees Doc coming with the Prince)
Sneezy: Wake up! (Sneezes) Wake up! (Runs and wakes every dwarf up calling them by name)
Doc: Here she is sire, Princess Snow White, now kiss her to break the witch’s spell and wake her.
(Prince dismounts horse)
PRINCE: Ok , ok I will wake up your princess.
(Leans down to kiss her, but gets back up)
PRINCE: Pay me first or no kiss.
HAPPY: Ok here you go, one of the most precious rings we have made it been past down from queen Elizabeth herself. And all it cost you is a kiss.
(Holds up diamond ring)
PRINCE:This is worth a lot more than I can afford.
(Leans down and kisses Snow White.)
SNOW WHITE: My prince.
(Prince kneels down)
PRINCE: My love, will you Marry me?
(Shows her the ring)
GRUMPY: You can’t use that, that is-
(Other dwarves cover his mouth)
SNOW WHITE: Oh yes, oh yes.
(They Ride away on the horses)
SLEEPY: Wake me up for the wedding.
GRUMPY: That Cheapskate.
#66 Bull Crap
The Bulls are in the stable as Farmer joe walks in.
FARMER JOE: Hey Bessy, Hola Rosie, Ni hao Kai Lan.
(Goes and pats each pull on the side.)
FARMER JOE: It’s milking time girls.
(Starts with Bessy and rubs his stomach)
BESSY: When will this idiot realize we’re bulls, and not cows.
(Goes over and does the same thing to Rosie)
ROSIE: I hate this stupid girl name, and he keeps touching my stomach.
FARMER JOE: I’m going to make some yogurt from this milk.
(Starts with Bessy and rubs his stomach)
KAI LAN: What milk is he talking about? I think it’s your fault Bessy you kicked him in the head and now he is loopy and trying to make yogurt from ou fake milk.
FARMER JOE: Wow girls, you gave a lot of milk today. (Begins to walk out) I wonder when your calves are due.
(The cows look at each other with big eyes)
BESSY: Their ain’t no way he’s going to try and get a cow out of me.
# 67 Donder and Blixem a Story Untold
Donder (Donner): Mad about how everyone says and writes his name wrong.
Blixem: Mad about how everyone says and writes his name wrong.
Frosty: Sings the Rudolph the rednose reindeer.
Frosty is just randomly singing in some snowy forest.
Frosty has a microphone and is talking
FROSTY: Merry Christmas everyone, I’m frosty the snowman and today, we will start this joyus day with one of the classics. Rudolph the rednose reindeer! (Starts to sing) You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen-
(Donder and Blixem come storming in)
DONDER: Hold your jingle bells frosty!
BLIXEM: Yeah, un-deck your halls you plethora of ice!
FROSTY: Whoa Donner Blitzen, calm your tinsel. What's the problem?
DONDER: That’s the problem! You’ve been pronouncing our names all wrong.
FROSTY: Well fellas I had no idea. Didn’t mean to untwist your candy canes. Well if Donner and Blitzen aren’t your names then what are they?
DONDER: My names Donder. D-O-N-D-E-R. The d’s are not silent, ‘ight.
BLIXEM: And my name is Blixem. Whats with all this Blitzen stuff. I swear the one who started calling me Blitzen had to much egg in there nogg.
FROSTY: Well I’m sure we are all sorry for sing you names wrong. Right everyone?
(Looks towards audience)
FROSTY: Right everyone? (Keeps saying it until audience answers)
DONDER: Well we forgive you just the next time you sing that stupid song.
BLIXEM: Get our names right why dontcha!
The fresh food market.
They are picking up veggies
TYLER: Hold on Brody, I’m going to go get something.
(Walks over to store clerk)
TYLER: Hey, you. You got the stuff?
(Brody looks over his shoulder at his brother)
STORE CLERK: Yeah bra I do. Hold up a sec and I'll go fetch it for ya.
(Brody Runs over to his brother)
BRODY: Whoa, wait hold on a sec. Tyler what stuff are you getting! Mom told you to stop doing that stuff!
TYLER: It’s my business, and besides you're going to benefit from it anyway!
BRODY: Dude, I don’t want your drugs!
(Pushes brother, as the store clerk comes back.)
STORE CLERK: Sir, I have your fiddle heads.
BRODY: What are fiddle heads! Why are you doing drugs!
(Tyler puts his hands on Brody’s shoulder)
TYLER: Calm down dude. Fiddleheads aren’t drugs. It’s a type of vegetable from New England.
BRODY: Oh, vegetables.Hurray *Sarcastically*
# 69 A Fly on The Shoulder
A man is sitting on a park bench, another person is playing the fly on the other side of the stage.
The fly begins to fly around as the man reacts to it around him.
This goes on for a few seconds as the fly lands on places and the man slaps them.
Finally the fly lands on his head and he kills it, the person playing the fly dies.
# 70 S.T.U.P.I.D
HIPPIE: Today is a good day man, i am like totally happy and unsuspecting of anything that happens.
(Professor Cobbler comes out)
PROFESSOR COBBLER: GIve my your shoe young man now!
HIPPIE: Wait which one.
PROFESSOR COBBLER: The left, I only take the left!
(Hippie begins to take his shoe off.)
TWOZOME: Stop, in the name of S-T-U-P-I-D
TWOZOME: It’s pronounced Stupide. It is the names of all my team members put into an acronym. S is for Scan boy, he can scan your document is a jiffy. (Scan boy jumps out) And T stands for Twozome, I can predict a twister after I watch the news. (Flicks back hair) U stands for Ubber, he can dance like his legs are Rubber.(Ubber Comes out) P stands for Patty. She, is just the intern. (Patty comes out and curtseys)
(Proffesor Cobbler tries to get away while everyone is concentrated on Twozome, Patty attacks him, still no one is paying attention, professor crawls away) I stands for Ice E, he’s as chill as it gets. (Ice comes out chewing on an Ice cube) And finally D for Dipstick, I don’t know why he’s here.(DipSTick walks out like an Idiot.
EVERYONE: And we are STUPID!
HIPPIE: Dude he stole my shoe and ran away.
PATTY: Are you sure, Patty hold up his shoe.
HIPPIE: Thank you Patty, you are a true hero.
# 71 The Quarter Quail
Quail 1: Guys, it’s quail season again.
Quail 2: Oh no!
Quail 3: I hate this, you don’t see us shooting them down.
Quail 2: Guys its time for the chirping.
(Quail 3 begins to scream)
Quail 1: It will be okay, don’t get your feathers in a ruffle. And tuck your tail in little duck.
Quail 3: Thanks, but we aren't ducks we are quails.
QUAIL 2: Well let's go to the chirping.
(Walk over to where another quail is standing)
QUAIl CHAIRMAN: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the chirping of the seventy fifth annual hunting games. And it is also the third quarter quail. And remember whose ever name gets chosen must enter the forest and fight the hunters.
ALL QUAILS: No, not the quarter quail.
QUAIL 3: Why must the capitol torture us, with their silly hunting games.
QUAIL CHAIRMAN: Ladies first (Pulls a feather out of a hat.) Quailrose Evergreen.
QUAIL 3: No, no, no, no, not me.
(Tries to run away but two other quails grab her.)
QUAIL 1: No Quailrose! (Reaches out towards sister.) I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute I will be hunted in the hunting games.
QUAIL CHAIRMAN: It appears as if we have a volunteer.
(All quails hold up three feathers and chirp)
GRANT: Remember I love you
SARAH: I know but, I can’t handle it anymore. The fights the screaming the punches, the slaps. I just can’t
GRANT: Yes you can, we can. We can get through this together trust me.
(Sarah stands up)
SARAH: Grant don’t you understand! I’m going through a lot right now. And you're not helping the cause. You forgot my birthday, you are never there when I need you anymore.
GRANT: I’m sorry, but you aren’t the only one going through things!
GRANT+SARAH: I just can’t handle it!
(Sarah runs off crying)
GRANT:Sarah please come back, I'm sorry! (Quiter) I'm sorry.
73 Mistaken Identitiy
Little boy loses mom in the store and is trying to find her.
(boy is sitting on the floor playing with some toys, looks up to talk to his mom)
Boy: Hey mom look at this tooo…(realizes that she isn’t there)..oy. (looks around frantically) Mom? (runs around the store) Moooom?
(stranger walks on stage with back to the audience and facing away from the boy)
Boy: (Runs up to the lady and gives the lady a hug) MOM I THOUGHT I LOST YOU!
Woman: (Struggles to free herself from the hug) Who the heck are you? I’m not your mom.
Boy: Oh um sorry mom, I mean ma’am.
A cat is chasing after a mouse and knock things over in the house. When it’s owner gets home they are not happy.
Cat is onstage cleaning herself and taking a nap. Mouse runs onstage and tries to get around the cat without her seeing him. Cat sees mouse and gets into a pouncing position and wiggles its butt and begins chasing after the mouse. The cat knocks over all different kinds of objects in the house and crashes and thuds are heard from the objects as they fall. The cat catches the mouse and lays back down and goes back to sleeping. Owner walks in and is very angry with the cat and makes her go outside.
#75 1 play, 3 variations
Sam and Holly are at school. Sam is watching her from a distance.
Holly enters from stage right and opens her locker and starts fixing her makeup. Sam enters from stage left and watches her from his locker. George enters and stands by Sam. George nudges sam and motions for him to go talk to Holly. Sam shrugs it off and blushes.
Tyler enters and goes over to Holly. Holly smiles and goes to give him hug but he stops the hug and motions for her to sit down on a bench. they talk and he breaks up with her. Holly begins to cry and Tyler gets up and exits stage right.
George nudges Sam again and motions for him to go comfort. Sam is reluctant at first but then goes over to her. He shyly walks over to her and motions to the bench as if asking if he can sit down. She smiles at him and he sits down. They pretend to have a short conversation and Holly perks up a little bit and wipes her tears away. Both pretend to laugh and Sam puts his hand on top of hers. They both look up into each other’s eyes and share a small smile.
Scott and Tiffany are having an argument (like a soap opera)
TIFFANY: Scott, we need to talk. I don’t think I can be with you after what you did.
SCOTT: Tiffany, it wasn’t my fault. Everyone does things that they regret.
TIFFANY: I just don’t think I can forgive you.
SCOTT: It’s not that big of a deal. It was a simple mistake.
TIFFANY: YOU KILLED MY WEBKINZ.
SCOTT: (gasps) It was your fault. You should have written down the wifi password, I wasn’t about to waste my data on that crap.
TIFFANY: (gasps louder) do not speak of it. (looks away dramatically) maybe we should take a break and see other people.
SCOTT: Tiffany please, just give me another chance.
TIFFANY: Scott, I don’t know..
SCOTT: I’ll buy you chinese.
TIFFANY: i don’t… fine.
Kyle is having a funeral for his pet goldfish. His stuffed animals are gathered around them.
KYLE: (dramatically) today we are gathered to mourn the loss of Steve. He had a good spirit and was a good friend to everyone. He will be missed. If anyone else would like to share something that you will miss about him please stand and do so. (awkward pause.) okay nevermind. Good bye steve. (flushes gold fish down the toilet.) okay now let’s go to walmart and get a new fish!
Dog is waiting for a little boy to come home from school.
Dog is laying on stage. He gets up and paces around looking very anxious and kind of sad/lonely. He lays back down and then gets up and paces and repeats this a couple times. He lays down and looks like he has given up. The noise of a bus is heard from off stage and the dog jumps up and wags his tail. Boy walks in with his backpack and the dog runs up to him excitedly and jumps on him. The boy and the dog both look very excited and happy.
Tinker bell is flying with peter pan when they come upon wendy’s house
Peter Pan: hey tink let’s stop at wendy’s house again and she if she’s home.
Tink: Peter, she doesn’t even know who you are, what are you going to do if she catches you watching you one of these days?
Peter: she’s not going to, we’ll just stop by for a minute.
Tink: yeah well maybe you should put on your big boy panties and go talk to her.
Peter: ha. ha. very funny. There’s her house.
Tink: okay but we’re only staying for a minute.
(wendy is inside her house reading stories.)
Peter: Her stories are the best.
Tink: Shh, she’s going to hear you.
Peter: Quit being a worry wart, she’s not going to hear us out here. (accidentally makes a loud noise)
Wendy: Is somebody out there? (looks outside)
(Tink and Peter hide, wendy shrugs and goes back to reading)
Tink: nice going, idiot.
Fleas on a dog, dog scratches and fleas freak out.
Dog is on Stage Left and begins laying on the floor. He stands up and stretches and starts to scratch at his side.
Fleas on Stage Right begin to freak out and try to hide from his scratching paw. When he is finished they all sigh in relief.
81The Jokers Truth.
Joker: So the truth about Batman huh? The part that nobody knows. I`ll tell you how this goes. Everybody has a story to tell about how their life brought them to where they are, and mine.. Mine started when I was just a child, I loved bats and everything to do with them. I became so interested in bats that I myself made the character Batman, I stayed up through multiple days and nights. When Batman got to a small child I had to give him up for adoption, people couldn’t see me with him, and his powers were too strong, stronger than I intended. This earth couldn’t handle his strength and I needed to bring him back to the lab. But it isn`t as simple as it sounds, his adoption parents forced batman to look at me in disgust, he hated me, thinking I ruined his life, and from that point on he sees me as his rival enemy, the fact that his “parents” died when he was young doesn`t help and things are forever stuck with the way they brainwashed him. I didn’t know how to react and my mind, it just went crazy. I’m trying to find myself in my lost thoughts but it only lead to a darker path.
The Mad Hatters Happiness.
Mad Hatter: Why does everyone see me as so crazy? Or as they say “mad”. I have a certain way of my thoughts and how I think. I am unique, now Alice on the other hand is what you`d call mad. It`s all mixed up, I mean who follows a rabbit with a watch yelling “I`m late!”? She`s all mixed up, in a dream. I`m everything that she makes me seem because it was her dream, but it shouldn`t be that way. I`m sick of being treated like I don`t know anything, but I am the smartest of all human beings. Birthdays are my favorite, in matter of fact everyday should be a birthday because it`s a new beginning for us all. A new day means a new start. We all have time to fix our mistakes and become a better person, but I, I am stuck in Alice`s mind all because I`m only a dream.
Boo: Why did the door have to shut? I wish I could`ve stayed forever, I myself could`ve been a part of the monsters incorporation. I feel like I`m the monster of this situation and I should have never escaped. When the door closed so did my imagination, I threw it all away and I painted my door black.
Object of choice
Life is great, nothing can stop me and nothing can break my down besides myself. Being the strongest material can get you so far, but you don`t start out as perfect and I can assure you that... When I was a young rock I always got teased because the way I looked and what I wore, but now everyone can see how great I have become. I am above them all and they are the ugly ones for having a soul that can be so quick to judge and cause hatred until the moment they see the success and would like to be on the level I am.
The wrong woman.
Man: (walking down the busy street) Uh hello miss, it`s been awhile!
Sir: Do I know you?
Man: Yeah! We grew up together, do you not remember me?
Sir: I`m sorry but you have the wrong person…
Man: No, No I do not, your name is Christine, see!
Sir: I believe not…
Man: Oh, well Christine I have some good news for you!
Sir: I am NOT Christine! I will call the police if you keep harassing me!
Man: The good news is that I found your wallet with thousands of dollars, I knew it was yours once I seen you. Do you claim this?
Sir: (Voice goes higher) Oh yes yes! That has all my money, my I.D., and everything that I have been missing, I could not thank you enough!
Man: sike...(runs away)
Little boy: Batman! You`re my favorite super hero of all time, all the other ones can`t even compare, I can`t explain how amazing you are, I believe your strength is far more than thor!
Thor: You have the wrong idea kid, I am Thor and I am the greatest super hero of all time. Who is your father?
Little boy: The green Lantern..
Thor: That sums it up and explains your actions
The Green Lantern: We`ve gone through this before Thor and I am not afraid to do it again, we both know the power I have.
Little boy: SEE Thor see!
Thor: The underestimate of my power here is unexplainable. I am the strongest, wisest, and best super hero of all time.
The Green Lantern: I hate to do it, but there`s only one way to settle this…. An even match of arm wrestling!!
Dramatic play #1
Lost and found.
Copeland: It`s been 4 days and three nights since she`s been gone, what are we going to do?!
Mary: She`ll show up sooner or later, it`s best not to worry, everything will be okay.
Copeland: It just makes me sick to my stomach to not know if she`s going to come back or not… I know mom said she should be on her way soon but I haven`t heard a thing about her, not a single sound. It`s been over a week since she`s been in my hands!
Mary: Remember what I say, you will be okay, and so will she. If she doesn`t come back we can get you a new one, I promise.
Copeland: That`s the thing, I don`t want a new one! I want the exact one that Ive had…
Mary: come one Copeland, You will live without it, just another day of waiting and she`ll co-
Copeland: Do you think that could be her?!
(Answers, with small box in front of step, Copeland stars opening)
Mary: Well… what is it?
Copeland: It`s her! My Phone! I`ll never drop her again, that was the scariest moment of my life!
Dramatic play #2
MOM: Is everyone in the car and ready to go?!
EVERYONE: Yes mom, we are!
(Mom drives away, going to a vacation 300 miles away)
MILO: Mom… I feel sick, not like a cold, but sick to my stomach. I feel like something isn`t going to go as planned…
SARAH: Oh you be quiet, you always complain about the same reason every time, it`s almost as if you`re making it up
MOM: Be nice! Milo, nothing wrong could happen, it`s completely safe.
(silence for a second while mom is driving.)
MILO: It`s just I`m scared because of what happened to dad.. I don`t ever want that to happen again, ever.
SARAH: That was four years ago and a complete accident Milo, it`s never going to happen again.
MOM: She`s right, we`re safe, all three of us.
(Distant sirens go off)
SARAH: What`s that noise?
MILO: It sounds like sirens?
MOM: Nothing to worry about.
(Sirens get louder, as the sky is getting darker)
MOM: I can`t see where I’m going!!
89The terrible cook
Cast: cook, other cooks, judges
Setting: in a place that looks like chopped everyone is cooking.
(cook is sauteeing and throwing food around in a pan. like pro cooks usually do)
(all judges whisper and point at him while opera clapping and nodding making the “not bad” face)
(all other cooks look at him in awe and are getting mad)
(cook goes to the bathroom)
(all other cooks put spices in his pan, and a jalapeno or spicy pepper)
(cook comes back and puts a finger in to taste test, licks his finger and screams)
(running around looking for a sink)
(judges and cooks are laughing)
(cook finds a sink and put his whole head under and turns the water on)
(cook turns water off and stands up,looks around, takes off his chef hat, wrings it out, and walks off stage without bending his knees)
(all cooks and judges keep laughing)
setting: in a police room.
I'm superman... oh I mean.. Clark.. whatever I already ruined it. I'm superman. there you have it. basically I'm indestructible. bullets can bounce off my eyeballs. yeah. can you do that? doubt it. anyway, back to me. I'm fly. literally. like I can fly. but I also meant fly with the ladies. let's just say, me and Louis laine hit it off pretty quick. it's cause I'm the full package. I can literally shoot lasers out of my eyes.can you do that? I came to earth on an asteroid. SMACKED INTO THE PLANET EARTH AT THE AGE OF 3.. I could do anything for anybody. I grew up on the farm, and did everything because nobody handle it. yeah, there's that one minor kryptonite thing, but other than that, I'm the bomb. speak in of bomb, I could swallow that thing while it's blowing up and it would be like you eating a pop rock. anyway, I'm amazing so bye.
91 messy desk
cast: helga(the boss), Erica
Setting: office with a desk, so many papers cant even see the desk
(Helga come in doing the scolding mom gesture)
(Erica’s eyes get as big as can be)
(Helga puts her hand on her hips)
(Erica rummages through all of the pers on her desk then stops, looks up at helga, gives thee cheesiest smile and goes back rummaging )
(Helga is not looking pleased)
( erica finds the paper(very, very excitingly) Holds it up lion king style then kisses it)
(helga shows no emotion)
(erica hands the paper to helga then scoots her out)
(erica jumps for joy and lays on her messy desk)
92 title: Tigris’ POV
setting: China in a forest
TIGRIS: I have worked so hard to be the freaking dragon warrior literally my entire life. Like Master Shifu started me right out of the womb. I was stronger than half the world at age 3. I literally trained by punching trees for ten years. And right as the old idiotic tortoise was GOING TO PICK ME the fat af panda comes legit flying in to the stadium sitting on a wooden chair that is obviously way too small for him but normal/maybe even a little too big for average/amazing athletes as myself, propelled by ghetto fireworks sold from this weird af racoon looking thing that nobody thinks would ever work lit by a baby bunny and the stupid turtle picks him. He literally has no talent whatsoever. I hate him. i deserve to be chosen as the dragon warrior wayyyyyy more than him!!!
93 Mistaken Robbery
Cast: grandma, Robber, Cop
Setting at the old grandmas jewelry store.
O.G: I love my little shop on mine
(Robber comes in and pulls out a gun)
ROBBER: GIVE ME ALL YOUR JEWELS.
(o.g calls 911)
(robber starts grabbing all the jewelry)
O.G: Never you fool!
(Old grandma Kicks butt on the robber)
(grandma grabs all of the jewelry she can hold and runs out of the store)
COP: Ma'am. Put your hands up.
O.G: NEVER! THESE ARE MY JEWELS!
COP: Stealing is a crime ma’am I’m going to take you to jail.
O.G: I’m the owner of this store,I didn't take any jewelry Because they are MINE!!!
COP: These aren’t your Jewels, you are stealing.
O.G: but they are mine, I was the one who called you. please don't take me to jail this guy was robbing me
COP: put your hand behind your back, you are under arrest.
(cop puts grandma in the car and drives away)
(robber gets up of the ground)
ROBBER: stupid cop
(steals the rest of the jewelry and runs off)
94 NOT READY
cast: School kids, Mom, tyler
setting: home, tyler is frantically trying to get ready, in his heart boxers
(tyler is zooming around trying to get everything done.)
(Mom holds out lunch and closes eyes)
(as tyler runs past his mom with backpack wide open he grabs the lunch and literally stuffs it in his backpack)
(tyler runs out the door)
(mom opens mouth to say something but then starts laughing and walks off stage)
(Bus driver slows down right in front of Tyler’s house and tyler bolts on. panting)
(The bus driver opens his mouth to say something but then starts laughing.)
(all the school kids point and laugh their head off at him)
(tyler looks down and flops to the floor and laughs)
95 MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Setting: on the farm in modern day.
LAMB: You know what makes me REALLY mad?! I am not even that little! I am like half the size of Mary. You know, that would make me a pretty big lamb right? Second off, my fleece is white because I freaking took a bath before this stupid nursery rhyme came out. Mary doesn’t even help me. It’s like she doesn’t even care where I am, or at least she didn’t until this story came out. Now that I am so popular she all of the sudden loves me? What is this crap! Where did all the other little lambs go? How do you think they feel! You thought she just had one lamb? Ha-ha I LAUGH AT THAT THOUGHT. My best friend got sold to the farm, well I guess now we have only me. But I miss my family. I don’t even like Mary. Even the day she adopted me from that fantastic farm. It was the best and then she took me from my family. I literally hate her. But sometimes you just have to get through the day. Well, or your life. But I have had some good friends along the way.
96 King Triton’s View
Setting: Under the Sea. Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter. In the city of Atlantica, that King Triton rules.
KING TRITON: You think it is easy raising 7 teenagers? Did I mention that they’re all girls? It isn’t just an easy task, try ruling a whole ocean while doing it. It puts too much pressure on me, after being on the sea floor and all. I don’t know if I’m raising my daughter’s right. Am I being the perfect father? You saw what happened with Ariel. I break things and I have a bit of a temper tantrum… but I can’t help it! You know, I would like to see you do it. Swim a mile in my Fins! Do you think I baby Ariel too much? I mean she is sixteen, she should be able to get married to a human she has never talked to until their wedding day. Yeah, that sounds great doesn’t it? Not really! Maybe I give too much attention to Ariel, but it makes sense, she causes the most trouble! I don’t know, Maybe I am just overreacting a little.
97RUMPELSTILTSKIN’S SIDE OF THE STORY
CAST: Bar Wench, Rumpelstiltskin.
(Rumpelstiltskin at a bar getting drunk on ale shortly after his failed attempt to get a child)
Bar Wench: Rumpelstiltskin! You look horrible! What happened?!?!
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: (Disoriented and drunkenly) You know what? I’ll tell you. All I wanted was to have a child of my own. But who would ever want to have a child with a partner so hideous and ugly as I? Nobody, I tell you, NOBODY! So I figured I’d skip the waiting and finally just go out and get one on my own. When we made the first deal I knew we were going places. Then BINGO! We made a deal for her firstborn child. But then SHE backed out of our deal! That horrible lying wench went and cheated on our agreement! If there's ANYTHING I learned from this, it's to never fully trust anyone!
98 The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Crying Wolf
Cast: Boy, Asylum worker 1, Asylum worker 2.
(Boy in a mental asylum, being held for seeing things and hallucinating. Asylum workers walk down the hall and check on him)
Asylum worker 1: So, its your first day, huh?
Asylum worker 2: Ya. Is this his cell?
Asylum worker 1: Yes. Yes it is. You ready?
Asylum worker 2: Just one second. First I think I should know what's wrong with him.
Asylum worker 1: Oh you want his story huh? Well there isn’t much of one, seeing as nobody knows what happened to him. All we know is that he was tending the sheep when it first started. He goes on for hours about some wolf eating his sheep. It gets kind of creepy sometimes.
Boy: AAAAHHHH! WOLF! HELP! HELP! HELP! IT'S GOING AFTER THE SHEEP! RUN! etc.
Asylum worker 1: See? He’s purely insane, which is why he’s in here!
Asylum worker 2: Wow! I didn’t think it would be so weird working here.
Asylum worker 1: Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.
99 BIGFOOT, THE MODEL.
CAST: Bigfoot, Photographers
Bigfoot: Now I’ve always been a photogenic primate. (Picture snaps) I mean look at all these photos! (Holds up pictures then throws them out) But one day it happened… A HORRID picture! It’s all blurry, they caught me off guard, and THE BACKDROP! Oh dearest me! If they are going to have a picture of me in every supernatural magazine, at least use my good side. Like so...(Demonstrate) Couldn’t they have gotten a picture from one of any of these photographers? THEY all know how to take a good picture.
CAST: Table, Chairs
TABLE: Heres another person! AH! And the wretched chair! Its coming towards me! Stop him! He doesn’t even match! EWWW!
CHAIR: HEY! I can hear you! And its not me that doesn’t match, its you!
TABLE: Look! You don’t even match the other chairs!
CHAIR: Neither do you!
TABLE: WELL I’M NOT A CHAIR.
CHAIR: Well, he does have a point… OH Isnt there anything I can do to get out of here? It’s horrible!
101 ODE TO THE THRONE
CAST: Chair, Assorted Sitters
(In a kitchen with people coming in and out to sit on the chair)
Wo! Wo is I! My life is a horrible mess. There are people, pets and anything you can imagine that could be on me. (Person comes squirming and moving around) (MUFFLED) SEE?!?!?! As soon as I get comfortable someone comes and disrupts my peace! (Person comes reading a magazine) But after a while you get used to it. (Dog pees on the chair) AAAAHHHH! Achem! Sorry ‘bout that. It's things like this that really get on my nerves! (To the side) And my leg! Ahhhhh. Back to Paradise! (Thumping off stage) OH NO. This does NOT sound good! (Three people come and sit on the chair) Its a dog pile! UGH! Oh! UMPH! IT HURTS! MERCY, YOU WIN! (People get up once they break the chair) Oh my leg! I don’t think its supposed to do that! Goodbye cruel world!
SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW SANTA?
CAST: Santa, Krampus, Kid
(Krampus comes down the chimney after Santa, where he finds a Kid out of bed)
Kid: Santa, did you forget something? Why did you come back?
Krampus: Uuuuuuh…? HO HO HO? (Kid confused)
Krampus: well um.. you see.. uh (Santa comes down)
Santa: Ho ho ho
Kid: two santas?
Santa: Krampus what do you think you’re doing?
Kid: who? (Santa puts Kid to sleep with powder)
Krampus: leave me alone
Santa: Nope! Especially when you pretend to be me!
Krampus: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Santa: NEVER!!! (Kid wakes up)
Kid: Good mo.. What the heck two santas?!? what's going on?
Krampus: Nothing just go to sleep
Kid: that was rude
Santa: Stay away from him he is bad
Krampus: no i'm the good guy here (KID faints) Now see what you’ve done? Lets just leave before he wakes up.
Santa: HO HO OUT!
103 THE TRAVELING HEARTBREAKER
CAST: Heartbreaker, Various Girlfriends
(HB enters with a GF and have a romantic meal. He then breaks up with her and leaves to another date. He then goes through the same routine of breaking up and moving on) (after every breakup the girls go eat ice cream until he repeats a third time the last girl gathers the others and they gang up on him and then they go and cry and finish the ice cream together)
104 THE CARD MASTER
CAST: Innocent Townsfolk, Villain, Card Master
(In the streets with a battle going on)
VILLAIN: NOW THE CITY IS MINE!
TOWNSFOLK: AHHH! WHY! NOOOO!
CARD MASTER: Not so fast! Card powers! SWOOSH SWOOSH!
VILLAIN: OW! So many papercuts!
CARD MASTER: That's not even my most powerful attack! ACE OF SPADES!
VILLAIN: I’m yours, you win. I yield! Take me away!
CARD MASTER: AWE MAN! I didn’t even get to use Queen of Hearts!
Mistaken Identity #2 2 person
Setting: JJ, walks up to the door, and rings door bell. Waits for a second, and then the door swings open. EMILY is standing at the door.
EMILY: Oh hi! I’m Emily. Let me get my shoes. (Leaves for a moment)
JJ: (To himself) I thought it was Emma…
EMILY: (Comes back)
JJ: Ready to go?
EMILY: (looks behind her) Sure!
JJ: I thought we would walk to the movie theatre.
EMILY: Ok, cool.
JJ: So what’s your favorite thing to do?
EMILY: I really like drawing.
JJ: That’s way cool. Do you have any pictures I can see?
EMILY: Ya, I’ve got one here. (Shows him the picture)
JJ: Its…. a unicorn…
EMILY: I know! Isn’t it great?! (Excitedly)
JJ: Yeah… um.. so are you a sophomore?
EMILY: Ha uh no! I’m in sixth grade!
JJ: What? My friend said you were in his chemistry class!
EMILY: You were supposed to go out with my sister but.. you are really cute and Emma was still getting ready… so I came with you. So… What’s your name?
JJ: My name is “I’m taking you home now”
106 Mistaken Identity #3 4+ person
Setting: Two girls are walking down a random street discussing Harry Potter.
GIRL 1: I love Harry Potter so much!
GIRL 2: I know right! Want to know what would be way cool?
GIRL 1: If we met Daniel Radcliffe- the actor for Harry Potter!
GIRL 3: OH… MY GOSH… IT’S DANIEL RADCLIFFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE’S RIGHT THERE!!!!!
(All girls run up to him and start fangirling)
BOY: Oh.. uhh… hey
GIRL 2: I can’t believe you’re Daniel Radcliffe!!
BOY: Well, don’t. I’m not Daniel Radcliffe. I’m not even British.
Girl 3: It’s MATTHEW LEWIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(All girls run off stage excitedly)
107 SETTING: An office. The floor is getting very annoyed with the chair on top of it.
FLOOR: Chair, get off of me!
CHAIR: twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly!
FLOOR: UGH. Could you stop being so happy all the time?
CHAIR: TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY, TWIRLY!
FLOOR: Please! You are hurting me with your perpetually positive attitude!
CHAIR: It’s not my fault! (says happily) Talk to gravity. Twirly twirly twirly twirly…
FLOOR: (with chair “twirly” in the background) UGH!
108 SETTING: In a dog park. Five dogs are running around and one person begins to throw a ball.
Narrator: Today we are in a dog park, where a dog owner is having a rather frustrating day with his fluffy golden retriever.
Narrator: The ball is thrown and the dog goes for it. But wait? what was that? Squirrell. The owner begins to call the dog back by trying a series of whistles and claps. He calls the dog’s name. The dog comes back!
Narrator: The owner throws the ball again. But wait? What is happening? Another dog. They run for it at the same time. They start fighting for the ball but then… squirrell. The dog runs away and the other dog gets the ball.
Narrator: The owner is now beyond done. He calls his dog, puts a leash on him, and walks away.
109 SETTING: A school classroom. 3 kids are talking.
Person 1: The bathroom is so scary!
Person 2: Yeah, today the whole floor was flooded!
HPW: OH my gosh! I am Harry Potter Woman!
Person 1: Okay… well anyway the bathroom was scary.
HPW: No listen! The chamber of secrets is probably opening. The signs are all there. Creepy bathroom, flooding, … tell me, did any of you see a spider today?
Person 2: I did…
HPW: And was it going towards the forest? (pointing outside)
Person 2: You mean the football field?
HPW: Yes… The (does air quotes) Football field.
Person 1: Stop it, Harry Potter Woman!
HPW: The chamber of secrets is opening! (SAYS IN CREEPY VOICE)
Person 2: I think if anything from Harry Potter were true, you would be Professor
110 SETTING: In a bathroom.
(A girl is standing on one side of the stage with a straightening iron in her hand. A bunch of people are standing on the other side of the stage all bent and twisted. The girl straightens a section of her hair. A section of people straighten out. Then she does another section and the next section of people straighten out while making pained looks. Then she continues with 2 more sections.
111 SETTING: In a house, some girls are having a sleepover.
( Four girls lay down on their pillows facing the audience. They silently talk and silently laugh and then fall asleep. Then a T-Rex comes in and they wake up and scream. (silently) and run away and throw their pillows at the T-Rex. The T-Rex takes the pillows and walks away.)
112 PICKLE MAN
Setting: A mission control center. The rocket ships are coming down to earth.
PERSON 1: Oh no! Rocket ship engine one is down!
PERSON 2: Oxygen is running low!
PERSON 3: I know what we need!
PERSON 1,2,3: A SUPER HERO!
(pickle man appears)
PICKLE MAN: Hello! I am Pickle Man, your assigned superhero. I am here to help. What
is your current need?
PERSON 1: A rocket ship is going down!!
PERSON 2: We need your help to get the people on that ship back to safety. We have
approximately T- 7 minutes.
PICKLE MAN: Oh… hmm.. actually I am an intern superhero. You see, and I uh, can’t l
leave the atmosphere. I actually can’t even fly yet. But… I can make you
pickle! (pickle appears in his hand) Here you go!
PERSON 3: We don’t want your stupid pickle!!
PERSON 2: Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, There are intern superheros?
PERSON 1: We need a real superhero! How did an intern get assigned to the space
PERSON 2: Wait, but there are actually like intern superheros!?? That’s awesome!
PERSON 3: (Elbows person 2 in the side and rolls eyes) There are people about to
PICKLE MAN: Well, who wants a pickle?
PERSON 1: T- 2 minutes. If we don’t save their ship it’s going to plummet back to
Earth and KILL us!
PERSON 2: Well in that case, I actually do what a pickle
( A loud boom happens, everything goes dark.)
PICKLE MAN: Want a pickle?
In an empty, abandoned house the five friends go in to find clues to the murder of their friend Layla.
CORALIE: Hey do you guys really think this is safe? Layla is already gone, we can find other ways to solve her murder.
GAVIN: We could but the police think her death was accidental, I know it wasn’t. When we found her I think we all saw the cuts down her arm. The cuts were done by a knife, there is no way it could have been done with anything else.
SADIE: Coralie is right though, this house is not safe.
BRAYDEN: This house must be safe enough to be in. The lead we got gave the address to this house it must have a connection to Layla’s murder.
NAVAIH: (worried, loud) But who is going to believe us. Everyone thinks the case is solved, most of the town has come to peace with that.
GAVIN: (loud, little anger) No! I will not believe that. Every lead that we have gotten from the source has given us more clues to what happened.
CORALIE: Let's get this over with. This place is creepy.
SADIE: Let's just look around for ten minutes and meet back here then.
NAVAIH: Sounds good.
( everyone exits off stage in different directions. Coralie and Gavin stay on stage.)
CORALIE: Gavin, wait a second.
CORALIE:(sweetly) We all know you loved Layla, we all did. But I can tell there's a part of you that thinks she is still alive.
GAVIN: I know, but it always seems that she is still here.
CORALIE: There is always going to be part of her with us.
GAVIN: We should keep looking.
CORALIE: Yeah, you’re right.
(They exit stage, sadie and Brayden enter, sadie runs on stage and bumps into brayden. Sadie is terrified and on the ground)
BRAYDEN: Sadie, what's wrong. what did you find.
SADIE: It's…It's….We need to find the others and get out of here.
BRAYDEN: First tell me what's wrong.
SADIE: Brayden, no! We need to leave now. Before her or she comes back.
BRAYDEN: Before who comes back
SADIE: Before layla’s murder comes back. Upstairs there's pictures of her and all the rest of us. They have probably been tracking for about a year now.
114 Gum on the bench
At a bus stop there's a bench
Person 1 comes on stage “chewing gum” stops in front of the bench. He sits on the bench pulls out his gum and sticks it under the bench. Person 1 leaves and Person 2 enters. Person 2 sits on the bench and feels under the bench and finds the gum. She gives it a look and sticks it in her mouth and chews. After a few seconds she spits it on the ground. Person 2 leaves and Person 3 enters. Person 3 steps and gets stuck to the gum. He lifts up his foot and grabs the gum from his shoe and starts to chew it. After a few seconds to he puts it on the bus sign poll. Person 3 leaves and person 4 comes on sits on the bench. She sees the gum on the poll and grabs it looks around and puts it in her mouth and chews it. She pulls it out of her mouth and sticks it under the bench. Person 4 leaves and person 1 comes back. He sits down and pulls the gum starts chewing it and walks off stage.
115 BOOK SHELF
OBJECT SCENE #2
On a bookshelf are 4 books in a library.
BOOK 1: It's not fair, I never get checked out, you always do.
BOOK 2: (sarcastically) I am so sorry for being more popular book then you.
BOOK 3: Come on girls stop fighting, you are both good in your own way.
BOOK 4: Your just saying that because your story was made into a movie.
BOOK 2: Yeah, how did your story become a movie.
(books start argueing)
BOOK 3: Girls look, that cute guy came back
BOOK 1: Oh he is good looking
BOOK 4: I wish he would check me out.
BOOK 2: I want him to turn my pages
BOOK 3: Oh he just grabbed Insurgent.
( all books let out a sad sigh)
BOOK 4: he will come back they always come back.
116 THE ELEVATOR
A guy is waiting for the elevator.
Narrator: Wow this elevator takes forever. Finally and it's empty. (elevator opens for two more people) Oh great people. Oh crap we are stopping again. (4 people enter). all right Two more stops. no elevator don’t stop (3 people come on.)
How many people are on this elevator. Ten of us, how many can this elevator hold. Oh great 10 people no more people can come on. (elevator stops and 1 person is waiting he looks in and get in the elevator next to it. One more person runs on Person 1 gets of.) Oh he could have been in that mess. (person 1 gets on the elvator and pushes a button. He looks behind him and everyone is sick) And these people are sick.
117 Point of veiw #2
In a courtroom where the evil queen is on trial. On one end of the stage is the Evil Queen and her terrified Lawer, on the other side of the stage is Snow White, Prince Ferdinand, and Their lawer. Behind Snow white's team is the jury of the 7 Dwarfs.
COP 1: All arise for the judge
(the whole cast stands. The judge enters the stage)
JUDGE: You all may be seat. Today we will be settling the case of snow white and the evil queen. Snow White we will start with your team.
(snow white's lawyer stands in the center looks at snow)
LAWYER1 : we would like to call the evil queen to the stand.
(Evil queen takes the stand. cop 1 approaches the stand with a bible.)
COP 1: do you swear the tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
EVIL QUEEN: I do
(Lawer 1 approaches the stand)
LAYER1: Evil queen will you tell us your intentions of why you would want to murder snow.
EVIL QUEEN: (look and speak innocently) Well you see, Snow White is my stepdaughter I only wished her well. I knew one day she would mess with boys so I gave her an apple with a little spell. So that the day she was chosen by her true love she would wake up and she would know. I never wished her dead, but then she ran away and started to live with seven little men.
LAYER1: So why did you have her work as your servant
EVIL QUEEN: I was preparing her for the real world.
LAYER 1: That will be all
(Layer1 and evil queen go back to their original spots)
JUDGE: Now evil queen your team has the floor.
(layer 2 takes the floor)
LAYER2: Snow white please take the stand (snow takes the stand). Please tell us your take on the story.
SNOW: (high pitched voice, with a hint of evil) Aw yes, why of course. Well I was 14 and had been treated as a slave, one day a hunts men approached me and told me of the evil queen's plan to murder me because I am the fairest in the land. Then I approached a cottage with 7 little men and they were so kind to take me in, when they went to work one day an old lady offered me and apple, the next thing I remember is being woke up by my prince.
LAYER2: That will be all.
( snow and layer2 return to their original spots)
JUDGE: We will give dwarfs i mean jury a minute to decide.
DWARF1: We need no time the verdict is guilty
( snow white gives the evil queen an evil look and watches as the cops escort her of the stage)
JUDGE: Next we will be settling the case of maleficent.
118 Mistaken Date
Evalyn: teenage girl on a date with Cole
Adalyn: Teenage girl on a date with Carson
Cole: Teenage boy on a date with Evalyn
Carson: Teenage boy on a date with Adalyn
Setting: At a restaurant in a booth the two twin girls are on one side and the two
twin boys are on the other.
ADALYN: I’m just going to run the bathroom quick do you want to come with me
EVALYN: Sure, (turns to address the boys) we will be right back.
(girls get up and leave the table. walk to the “bathroom” (on opposite side of stage))
(boys at table freeze)
ADALYN: Carson is so annoying! I don’t know what to do.
EVALYN: Really I didn’t think he was annoying at all. Cole is really nice too.
ADALYN: Oh I have an idea why don’t we switch dates since you don’t have a
preference and as far as they know you will be me and I will be you.
EVALYN: I don't know can’t you just last for a little longer we are almost done with
ADALYN: Come on it will be great
EVALYN: Alright but if they find out I am totally telling them it was your idea.
(Girls freeze after their conversation. Boys unfreeze and begin their conversation.)
CARSON: Bro what's wrong you dragged me on this date and I seem to be having
more fun than you.
COLE: Yeah, it’s just Evalyn seemed so different when I met her.
CARSON: Are you sure you asked out the right twin?
COLE: Ya I thought I did but now I wish I would have taken Adalyn instead.
CARSON: Well honestly dude I don't think she’s that bad why don’t I just trade you
places while they are gone and they will probably never know the
COLE: ok I just hope we don’t get caught.
(Girls walk back over to the table)
(They continue on their date as both the sisters and brothers occasionally share meaningful looks)
(they get up and leave their date)
COLE: (whispering to CARSON) Man Adalyn is just as bad as Evalyn!
CARSON: I didn’t think Evalyn was bad at all just like Adalyn.
Adalyn: (Whispering to EVALYN) Man I can’t believe this CARSON is just the
same as COLE.
EVALYN: Ya well I thought COLE was great just like CARSON maybe it is just you
. . . Wait do you think that maybe they switched dates too? (glancing at the boys)
Scarlett: A doppelganger to Aria, Scarlet is a teen spy.
Aria: A doppelganger to Scarlett, she is an average teenager.
Clyde: Very dramatic! An opposing spy who wants revenge on Scarlett.
Setting: In a low lighted room with a chair in the center of the room. Aria is strapped in the chair, struggling to get out.
ARIA: Help! Can anyone here me? Why am I here?
( Clyde comes in dramatically from the back. Aria does not notice him until he starts talking.)
CLYDE: So we meet again, Scarlett. I have waited a long time to get my revenge.
ARIA: But I don’t ….
CLYDE: (Interrupting) I have been plotting my revenge for quit some time, and I have been waiting and watching you for some time. Once I found your location and your cover I thought you would have done something not so obvious as a high school student.
ARIA: What is going on? Who even are you?
CLYDE: I see what you are doing. Your playing dumb so it will be easier to escape, but I won’t let that happen.
(scarlett comes in. Her entrance is exciting and intense.)
SCARLETT: Well, well it looks like you got the wrong girl.
ARIA: ( Very confused) Who are you, and why do we look so a like?
SCARLETT: I will explain later. For now I need to take care of some loose ends!
CLYDE: What! How? I was finally going to win!
SCARLETT: Well it looks you meet Aria, my doppleganger.
CLYDE: Doppleganger! No, this can’t be possible!
( For about 10 seconds to a 1 minute Scarlett and Clyde fight dramatically. As the fight comes to a close Scarlett nails Clyde to the ground, which knocks him out. Scarlett unties aria)
ARIA: Who are you?
SCARLETT: I am Scarlett, I just happen to look very similar to you. I know you might have so many questions, but you are going to forget about me.
120 Roller coaster
at an amusement park
A little kid is with his mother holding a balloon. He lets go of the balloon and points to a roller coaster. (seats 3 by 4) The roller coaster goes up then drops the mother and little kid exits the stage. The roller coaster comes to the front of the stage and the people turn right then left. they go up a big hill and drop. They go left and right. They repeat 3 times and then turn to go off stage and do hills all the way off stage.
he story of how supercow became super cow.
it all started one night while in the field a little fairy was flying around and saw this baby cow. she thought what a beautiful animal i shall give her powers to fly over the moon. but as she did so another cow ate her so the spell was left unfinished. the unfinished spell allowed her to stand on two legs and talk to people . she saved many lives and her mother was very proud of her for being such a good example.
what would she do with out me.today i got bought by this girl today she seems nice. she say am way comfy and when i get put on her mom says it makes her legs look good. that makes me happy knowing that i'm helping her look good but today during lunch she got something on her fingers and she thought it would be cool to wipe it on me and not a napkin what kind of person does that?!?!
a house burning down on someone stuck inside. someone come to the rescue
(fire roaring the whole time. someone is stuck in a room of a burning house this person is pretending to be screaming hoping help will come. a firefighter comes in and hears her over the roar of the fire and helps her get out safely outside family is waiting to see if she will be fine.)
thor and loki having family dinner
THOR: (yelling) loki get your hands off my food!!!
LOKI: (yelling) never brother!!
THOR: (whining) but it's my food!!
LOKI: but i'm hungry
THOR: then get your own food
LOKI: maybe i will……….. just kidding give it to me!!!!!!!
THOR: (yelling) dad!!!! loki stole my food
LOKI: (mouth full of food and yelling) dad don't listen he's crazy!!!
aladdin from abu point of view
Me and this street rat were walking around the market being thieves the only thing we got was some watermelon……… we ate on a roof of a building. we hear a scream and we look down and there's this girl about to get her hand cut off for stealing an apple. i laugh then aladdin has this smart idea to go and save this girl. i follow him down and aladdin says that she worships me because she thinks i'm the sultan then we start running. he falls in love she's actually the princess so he goes into a sand lion receives a lamp turns out there's a genie in it he wishes to be a prince next thing you know he's a prince in an elephant and he wins the girl's heart.
Bob and sally like each other and neither of them know it. In the park
Sally is sitting with Gina having a conversation. bob and caden are looking at them in admiration. Caden pushed Bob in to Sally. Bob goes bright red Caden pretending to laugh. Sally is bright red and giggling. Gina just watches as stares at Caden. Sally is fawning over Bob. Caden and Gina leave them. Sally and Bob start to talk and get to know each other a little more.
Bob and sally like each other and neither of them know it. In the park.
one sunny day in the park Sally and Gina were in deep conversation and all the sudden caden bob's best friend pushed him into Sally. Sally was shocked and turned around and started blushing like crazy. Bob's face was bright red in blush. Gina looked to caden and they walked off to leave them alone to talk they looked around for there friends but couldn't see them anywhere. they decided it was time to get to know each other better. turned out they had a lot in common. they started to hang out more and more until they were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Bob and sally like each other and neither of them know it. In the park.
(Sally and Gina walking through the park)
SALLY: Did you see bob today?
GINA: No, and dont u go saying that he looked good I don’t want to hear it.
SALLY: Fine be that way but for the record he did look good.
GINA: you are absolutely crazy
(light on them fade and turn on showing bob and caden)
CADEN: Hey look its Sally and Gina
BOB: should i go say hi?
CADEN: of Course
BOB: how do i look?
lights show all four of them
CADEN: good (pushes him into sally)
The Writer (Action)
There is a man at a desk and is typing. He gets it down as a rhythm. Then he stops and hold his head in his hands, making a sigh. Then he bangs his head on the table.
130 The Writer (Scene)
The Author comes in and sits in the chair.
The Author: (Sighs)
Well let’s get back on this.
He starts typing.
The Author: (Cont’d)
So the story begins with a man and he’s a reporter, so there is a sensational story about an actress that is in Broadway and he needs that story. But after the interview he doesn’t know what to write.
He stops. Then he starts crying. Then shakes his head. Finally he bangs his head on the table.
131 Tragedy (Dramatic)
There is a girl that is kneeling down and looking up at the night sky.
Look, a shooting star. I wish that I had a real family that would take care of me. There are families that come and go but which ones should I look for? Please grant me my wish and this will make me very happy, and when I’m happy you should be happy too.
It’s the next morning and they’re calling the girls up when the little girl doesn’t
Anne wake up, it’s time for breakfast.
There was no answer.
Woman: (to another woman)
What should we do? She was too sick to see anybody and now…
The woman started crying.
She must be in a better place.
132 The Accusative Case #3 (POV)
A woman goes up to the podium and addresses the audience.
Woman: (Adjusts the microphone.)
People tonight I imagine a world without people. I can’t see that very well, I must add. There are people in the audience that feels oppressed and I’m talking to those women. We live in a world ruled and controlled by men, to which have everything and what do we have, well not nothing but we are definitely not so equal from each other. There is a powerful gap between us and we need love, why is it that women have to take care of their child? Why do we have so many differences but we’re human. I seek a world with no such tribulation with this subject and we will be proud and rich society. You are a strong people!
133 Seasons (Action)
It starts as players playing leaves. They grow and wave in the wind. They look to the lights for comfort. Than the fall comes, and they start to shrivel. Next they fall of the trees. Finally they are covered with a blanket, which is snow.
134 Brothers (2p Mistaken ID)
So there is two people at a booth in Wal-Mart.
Younger Brother: (looks at the other person closely) Hey, I remember you, aren’t you my long lost brother?
Older Brother: What? Who the heck are you?
Younger Brother: Don’t you remember me? We grew up together.
Older Brother: What?! What are you talking about?
Younger Brother: (sadly) don’t you remember me?
Older Brother: Sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. (Turns to walk away)
Younger Brother: (Grabs him) you need to come back home, mom died, dad is an alcoholic, and Suzy went off with another woman. Please you’re the only one I have.
Older Brother: uhhhh, this is awkward. Wait….Suzy….Suzy….nope doesn’t ring a bell. Unless you are talking about my childhood sweetheart.
Younger Brother: Uhh, yeah, let’s go back to my house and call her up. (Walks off)
Older Brother: Dude, whatever floats your boat. (Calls 911).
135 The Adventures of a Flag (Inanimate)
There is a marching parade going down the streets while waving a flag. Audience stands up and salutes the flag. The parade stops and the flag faces the audience.
I feel so honored, thank you, thank you, I’m eternally grateful for your respect. Here let me tell you my story. I was made in the country that I was made from. I was spun from the silk and wool from the farms that took great pleasure in perfectly arranging my transformation. I have sat here billowing on this nations special holidays. I was in the company of a veteran of World War II, while I hung high on a flagpole. I am a symbol of yours and our nationality. Be proud of this record I give you.
The parade goes back on and finishes.
136 The Greatest American Hero (Inanimate)
There is a group of people and the tour guide comes to a statue. There is a plaque and it reads.
This commemorative figure served as a hero to this nation. He grew up in this very town. He led his troops to the shores of Normandy, there he was at the very turning point of the war. He had a strong belief of God and his family that he would see them again. He bravely served as an idol in his troop, they worked hard and pleased him very much. There he fell and was not found, here is the proof of his long and superior life.
The tour group gives a moment of silence.
The Real story about Toy Story
So the name is zurg. Im not really a bad guy like everyone thinks i am. Buzz lightyear is actually my son. I taught him well till one day he just threw me on a corner and left me forever. I have been trying to find him and ask him ever since. Everytime he sees me he always tries to kill me! I am always trying to find him so that i can be there for him. His friends put a bad influence on him. I always call him via star command but he never answers. He never wants to see me. But anyway in the elevator when i went to find him he sorta started to catch on to me. He tried to save me but he let me fall! I hit the ground hard and was found by a young girl named susy. I now wait for him to come to me cause i don't tolerate that kind of behavior anymore!
Sentinel Prime: So you want to hear the real story of the autobots huh. Well the autobots were actually the bad guys. They teamed with the humans to gain there trust so that the autobots could destroy us. I know the humans didn’t know what they were doing but I knew what I was trying to do. We didn’t want to hurt anyone at first until they started firing bullets at us for no reason. When we put the pillars down we were really trying to restore our planet to full health. Nothing would have happened to earth. You see at first I trained octumas prime to fight. He was my son and one day he left with the rest of the autobots and left me to die in an abandoned waste hole on the moon. Luckily the humans found me and found a way to bring me back home. Then when they found me. I just wanted to restore peace! I was killed in battle! But somehow I’m talking!
Let me tell you right now this kid is obsessed with me. All he does is drive me around. I get thirsty a lot because my mileage is low. He wants to break my speakers I think because my ears are starting to wear out. I usually hang out with subs all day! I’ve know subs my whole life. The tinted windows make it a little dark in me but we still chill! The other day the kid hit me with his skateboard. My foot is still repairing but you know that’s fine. Sometimes he doesn’t take me places though it lets me take a break but it makes me really cold inside. And can you believe this I’m not even in the garage in the winter. Like what is this kid thinking. Me and him have been through a lot though. I mean a lot. We have been to New York. Plenty places to name.
Phone: Hey guys do you wanna watch my new video on my phone?
Pocket lint: no i'm fine it will be too bright!
Earbuds: pocket ease up and just watch it! I will phone!!
Pencil: I guess but my heads all the way up here so it will be a little hard to see!
Pocket lint: Can you please get off me pencil!
Pencil: no sorry haha
Earbuds: oh i have a job to do see you guys later.
Phone ooo what song is he gonna put on.
Pencil: i wanna hear!
Pocket lint: sorry we can't hear because he's using headphones.
Phone: well that was a good jam out session!
Pocket lint: ahh where am i going
Pencil: why is he throwing me away!
Earbuds: phone lets just hang out he doesn't ever forget about us!
Phone: yea lets do it!
So I’m batman! I save Gotham from all the big rude guys! I’m not really super but I’m the best super hero. I don’t need no gay super powers. I can grapple like spidey man! I can go just as fast as flash with my car! People don’t figure out my identity either! People rely on me! I make my own gadgets! I have a batmobille and a bat copter. Plus I don’t run away because of love like all the other super fags! Anyway you get my point!
144 Electric Company People
People love us! We make your lights turn on! We make it so your T.V can turn on! IPhone IPod and that good old COD. If you’re scared of the dark we make you nightlights run! If you like your cable and internet better stick with me! I’m your guidance on your phone when you need a GPS! I’m the big old boss running down the street!
Scene: Rollar coaster
Everybody comes on stage, 2 people side by side, with linked arms,in a line that is 8 people long.. Everybody is making a tick tick sound. The sound lasts for 20 seconds. (Walking slowly) FInally, the lead people start to turn, and everybody screams, and sticks their hands in the air. The ride lasts for 45 seconds, the two lead people are guiding everybody going around in circles just around the stage. The whole 45 seconds the two lead people are slowing down and speeding up. Everybody is following the same way. Finally, they slow down and stop. Everybody makes a cshhhhhhhhhh noise like a rollar coaster stopping. Everybody “gets out” to the right, and exit the stage.
146 Scene: At walmart
Bill: I think we should go wandering around our favorite store again, walmart.
Marta: Yes, I do believe we are in need of something that we don’t need again.
Maddie: Okay then, lets go!(The three walk off stage, then back on, and start looking through the aisles)
Marta: I think this cardboard box is a good object for us to buy!
Maddie: That ugly disgusting brown thing?
Bill: No way are we getting that box.
Marta: Fine. How about this?(Points up at something)
Bill: A basket?
Maddie: Yes! Its perfect!!(All of them walk up to the front of the stage, and “buy” the item.)
Marta: This is the best buy we have had yet!! (All of them walk off stage)
147 Teacher: Greg! You have no right to be doing any of that to anyone! Its simply just bullying!
Greg: It wasnt me! I promise!
Teacher: Then who was it?(Mean voice)
Greg: I dont know! It just wasnt me!
Teacher: Do you have any evidence?
Greg: Yes! Right here!(Pulls out a note and hands it to the teacher, who looks at it, and looks confused for a sec, then looks back at him after a few long seconds and looks back at greg with a surprised look on their face)
Teacher: Greg, I apologize for suspecting you in the first place. I just thought it would be you because of the way you’ve been in the past.
148 The odd bookcase.
Unseen speaker: It all started one day in this very bedroom itself.
Pete: (On the phone) Yeah! Ill see ya tonight!(Hangs uo phone)
Bookcase: (Makes a long groaning sound the lsts for 5 seconds)
Pete: What the heck?
Bookcase: Don’t leave me(long, slow voice)
Pete: What in the world? (Walks over to bookcase, and starts to investigate)
Bookcase: Pete(Long slow voice) Ive known you since you were born. You must not leave me!
Pete: Ill do as I wish. (Walks off stage)
149 THE GRANNIE BEHIND THE PLOT
Setting: In the deeps woods somewhere
GRANNIE: (Over the phone to red) No darling, the forest is no place for little girls, its dangerous out there.
RED: (Over the phone to grannie) No gran, ill be just fine.(Line goes dead.)
GRANNIE: That little girl has no idea…but I do! (Gets a mischievous smile on her face, and proceeds to pick up the phone and dial a number, wolf comes on stage, holding a phone)
WOLF: (Scary voice) What is it?
GRANNIE: I need you to…give a fright to my little darling granddaughter..
WOLF: What do you mean?
GRANNIE: I just want you to prove that the forest is a dangerous place.
WOLF: I can do that. (Line goes dead)
(All of the trees come onto the stage, Red wanders through the trees, wolf is halfway through the trees)
RED: Great afternoon for a walk, Gran has no idea what shes talking about!
WOLF: (Wolf walks out from trees) Your gran was right dear, this forest is no place for little girls like you! (Starts chasing her off the stage, both run off stage, wolf returns and “knocks” on grans door, no answer, tries again, no response. Walks ion door, off stage, bed comes on. Wolf comes on stage, trips on something lands on bed. Outside red can be heard knocking, and she comes in, sees the wolf, and screams)
RED: Where’s my grannie?
WOLF: I don’t know! Your doing the same thing I am, looking for her!
150 The day of the wolf
Setting: Deep in the forest
WOLF: (Talking to self) I work for a company called blingerdoggins. We make masks for everything. Im in charge of getting them to the customers. I don’t know why, its probably just because im scary. My day was going good until I had to deliver. Oh man.. I cant tell you how mad I was. It started one day in mthe forest(trees/scenery come on and create scene) and I was just walking along when I stumbled on a log, and I fell and it hurt so I made a growling sound. It just so happened that I stumbled across a major trail where their happened to be a girl. She screamed and ran..so I continued to follow my day, and I get to the house Im supposed to deliver to. I knock and nobody answers and I hear a sound from in side of the house, and I go in and find an old lady who is all tied up, and I go to help her but I trip, land on the box, and inside just happens to be a mask that looks just like the old lady. And I land on her bed. Just then, the little girl I ran into earlier and she tells me how weird I look. Then she gives me a hug and the mask falls off! She freaks out and runs. That is how my day was yesterday.
151 Life of car.
Hello? Nice to meet you! My name is car? I understand that you name is listener. No need. Im just the only greatest entertainer in the world. I m way overused though. You see, there are these things that are called human beings, and they are like the worst things ever. They come take me and batter me, drag me around, with them in me. Its like im the way they get places. Then they take me to a smelly place and put this odd liquid inside of me. It always is a scary trip. I guess I am one of their prized posesions so that is and upside. He likes to brag about me to these other humans, and I guess that’s an upside to life. They all do think that I am pretty cool. Then they race me, and Im like legit scared for my life. Like I mean, it isn’t safe at all what they do to me! Why do they have to scare me like that? I just hate it with a passion. Well, anyways, you have just been entertained by the best possible way to be entertained.
152 Notebooks, pens, and other random objects
Scene: In a backpack
Notebook: I am officially in charge of this area. I am the largest thing here!(Voices object in the background for 10 seconds)
Notebook 2:SILENCE!!! I object. My life is hard under your rules.
Notebook 3: Agreed.
Pencil: Im all over his pages, so i think ive imprisoned him.
Pen: Oh yeah? Well im on more if his pages than you are so i should be in charge.
Eraser: I’d rather pen than pencil. Pencil is always getting erased by me. He doesn’t deserve anything good at all.(More voices of protest in the background)
Lunchbox: QUIET!! Ive been in here for just as long as you guys have and the notebooks know nothing, the pencils and the pen really are just pointless until the hand starts to use you. Now if you’ll excuse me i’m getting picked up to be used.
The life in the Backpack
Gum: This sucks! Why do I always have to stay inside a backpack? I want to be free and see the world.
Scissors: Just stop talking or else I will cut you in have…literally. You are never getting out until…well…you are all gone and you get thrown away.
Pencil holder: Scissors stop giving Gum a hard time. But everybody have be as strong as muscular as you.
Scissors: Easy for you to say. You have the best life out of all of us. You get to hold very hot pencils all the time. Hey speaking of pencils do you think you could hook me up with one?
Pencil Holder: Umm…no. They are already all mine. I won’t share what’s already mine.
Scissors: But Pencil…
Backpack: Will you two just shut up already! I have to carry everything in me. You don’t have to carry anything.
Gum: Well I have to carry my gum.
Pencil holder: Ya I have to carry pencils. Well…actually I have the privilege to carry these hot pencils.
Backpack: Why don’t you just go out with one already?
Pencil Holder: Who says I haven’t? You don’t know what goes on in here.
Gum: And you don’t know what goes on in my gum either.
Scissors: Umm…you do know all the gum is guys right?
Gum: Wait what?? I’ve done it…nevermind.
Backpack: You are so smart Gum.
Rock Paper Scissors
(Rock and Paper start playing rock paper scissors. Paper wins and punches Rock)
Rock: Paper how do you always beat me? I always think I am going to win then somehow you do the same thing ever time and you still beat me.
Paper: Well maybe if you didn’t do rock every time I do paper then you would win sometimes.
Rock: Well I am Rock, I can’t do anything but rock.
Paper: And well I’m Paper so I can’t do anything but paper.
Rock: Then is just unfair. Paper will you let me win at least once?
Paper: We can play again and I’ll try letting you win.
(They play again and paper wins so he punches Rock)
Rock: I thought you were going to try and let me win!
Paper: I did try but I can’t help beating you. It’s just too easy for me.
Rock: Well if I can’t beat you then I’m done trying to beat you.
Paper: Come on. Just try one more time.
Rock: Okay, but this is the last time.
(They do it again and Paper punches rock because he wins)
Rock: Okay I quit! You win!
Paper: It’s about time you learned your lesson. How do you think scissors feels when you always beat him?
Rock: Okay I get your point. I’ll stop playing with scissors if you stop playing with me.
Paper: Sounds like a deal.
155 The Bathroom Boy
(There’s an ad on tv and it says…Are you sick of having to clean your own bathroom? Do you feel like its never just clean enough? Or do you simply just want somebody else to do it for you? If so call the number on the bottom of your screen and you will get The Bathroom Boy immediately.)
Son: Mom! We should get that. Because you say I don’t clean the bathroom good.
Mom: It’s just another stupid ad. Those things are never true. They are never what they say they are.
Son: Mom please. Can you just try it? It looked realistic on tv so that means it has to be true.
Mom: Fine this is the last thing we try because the last thing you got didn’t work. I can’t believe I got you a Do the dishes for you machine. That was a total waste of money.
Son: So we can buy it??
Son: Oh thank you!
(They dial the number on the screen and The Bathroom Boy immediately appears on their house)
Mom: What are you?? Get out of my house before I call the cops!
Bathroom Boy: You called me. Do you not want me to clean your bathroom?
Son: This is the best machine ever! Can we keep it? Can we??
Mom: We can’t just trust anything that comes into our house without asking.
Bathroom Boy: Well the ad said you would get one immediately…so here I am.
Mom: Umm…well can you clean bathrooms well? Better then him? (Points to the son)
Bathroom Boy: I can clean it better than anybody in the world.
Mom: Ya I’ll see it when I believe it. Okay well get to work the bathroom is just around the corner.
(He goes in the bathroom and instantly comes right ow)
Bathroom boy: Okay it is all done for you.
Mom: What?? You were in there for like five seconds. There is no way you could already be done.
Son: Wow! That was super fast Bathroom boy.
Bathroom Boy: Well you can go look in it and look for yourself.
(She goes in there and sees it is really clean. There is nothing at all even on the floor)
Son: We are keeping you forever.
I have to get all A’s. But….I don’t have that. II have one B+ and that is not a A. If my dad finds out he will make it so I can’t play soccer until I get that A. I am doing everything I possibly can just to get that grade up. Then the day comes, my dad asks me what my grades are. Without even hesitating I say, They are all A’s. And he believes me because I always have all A’s. Looks like I can stay on the soccer team for now at least. Until my dad finds out I have one B+.
157 Who’s better?
Batman starts to show off his muscles and act like he is the best. Then Spiderman comes and pushes Batman. Then Spiderman also shows off his muscles. They keep pushing back and forth on who really is the best. Batman gives Spiderman a hard push so he falls to the ground. Spiderman then get up and punches Batman in the face so he falls. So then Spiderman starts to show off again. Batman gets up to punch Spiderman but before he can do anything Superman comes in. He pushes both of them aside and shows off his muscles.
158 At a School
Alex: Gus today is the first day of school and we don’t even have our schedules. We should probably go get them.
Gus: Okay lets go get it them!
(They go to get the schedules but they accidently get each other’s schedule)
Alex: Oh dang it! My first hour is AP Algebra…and that is my worst subject. I don’t remember signing up for this.
Gus: Well you are lucky. I have to go to
Gus: Well I have P.E. first hour. I hate having to run and do sports.
Alex: Well I would switch you in a heartbeat if I could. I’ll see you at lunch
(Alex is in AP Biology right now and he isn’t liking it)
Alex: Why did I take this class?? It’s the hardest class ever! I do not like this class!
(Gus in P.E.)
Gus: Why do I have to run so many laps? I can’t even do a half of a lap.
(They meet up for lunch)
Gus: P.E. was the worst! And when the teacher called role he said Alex and not Gus.
Alex: When the teacher called role for my class he said Gus and not Alex.
(The twins both look at their schedules and realized that they had each other’s)
Gus: Thank goodness! If I had to go to that class for one minute I would die of a heart attack.
Alex: If I had to go to Biology for one more minute my brain would explode. I’m not supposed to be smart.
Gus: You got that right.
(They go to their classes and then head home)
Prince: Man this sure sucks! I don’t want to go around to every girl in town and check who the glass slipper belongs to. Last night was the best night ever but this is just too much work in order to find her. If she really wanted to let me know it was her then she could come to my castle and tell me.
Girl: Oh prince I’m the person you are looking for from last night.
Prince: Well let’s see. (Puts on slipper and it doesn’t fit so he walks away)
Prince: This is taking to long. Well lets go into this house.
Princess: Prince I am the person from last night you are looking for. I look bad but it is me.
Prince: Well it’s probably not…but I might as well try it.
(Prince puts the slipper on the princess and it fits)
Prince: Oh my gosh! I’ve been looking for you for a very long time! I have wanted to find you since the day we have danced together.
160 The Forest
Wolf: I really want to make a BLT but I don’t have any bacon, I wonder if the pigs will lend me some. (Walks to Pigs house and knocks on door)
Wolf: Oh Pig do you have any extra bacon you can give me? Can I please have some? I’m trying to make a BLT but I don’t have any bacon and without it I would only have a BT…I need the bacon.
Pig: (Runs away really scared)
Wolf: Why do the pigs always run away from me? I don’t want to eat them I just want some bacon for my sandwich. I even asked very politely for bacon. I’m not even mean to the pigs. Well I have to go to the next pig’s house. (Walks to Pig 2’s house and knocks on door)
Wolf: Pigs can you please lend me some bacon? I don’t want to hurt you guys at all. All I want from you is some bacon and then I will leave you guys alone.
Pigs 1 and 2: (Runs away to pig 3)
Wolf: Really? Again? Time to go to the next house. (Walks to the next pig’s house and knocks)
Wolf: Pigs please let me in. I come in peace I just want some bacon! I don’t even know why they don’t like me I don’t want to hurt them. I just want some bacon for my BLT.
#161- INANIMATE OBJECT SCENE- IKEA is a pain
Setting: A couple is in their living room trying to assemble an IKEA arm chair. Parts are strewn all about the living room. The couple is quite frustrated with the assembly.
HUSBAND: I think this is a leg. (Lifting the LEG #1)
LEG #1: Duh! You would know what I am if you would just read the INSTRUCTIONS!
WIFE: (Referring to the INSTRUCTIONS) Yes, I think the picture shows that being a leg. I can’t read the instructions. I think they’re in Swedish.
INSTRUCTIONS: Actually I have English instructions too. If you would just turn the page.
HUSBAND: Ok, so if that’s a leg, then these must be too! (Gathering all four legs)
LEG #2: Hey, what’s up my friends? I’m super stoked to finally be a part of a chair.
WIFE: Alright now we need to get the HAMMER and hammer the legs to the cushion. (HUSBAND and WIFE arranging the legs, who will be on their hands and knees in a square formation, then placing the CUSHION across the top)
INSTRUCTIONS: No! That’s not the proper way to assemble the chair! Just read the English instructions! Come on!
HUSBAND: (Grabs HAMMER and starts swinging it at various pieces to nail them together)
HAMMER: Ow! Ow! Ow!
LEG #3: Stop that! I’m not supposed to have nails there!
CUSHION: You are poking holes in me! My stuffing is going to fall out!
WIFE: So, the last step is to put the back on the chair. (Grappling the back of the chair, trying to figure it out, and at last getting it to stay)
HUSBAND: Yes, now we’re done. Let’s try it out. (HUSBAND and WIFE sit down on chair. They all topple to the ground in a big heap. All the parts of the chair moan, while INSTRUCTIONS shakes his head in disappointment)
#162 MISTAKEN IDENTITY- Not so foreign exchange student
Setting: A classroom full of students, sitting in desks with two empty desks near the front. The TEACHER stands at the front. As the school bell rings, two students rush in and occupy the two empty seats.
TEACHER: Alright class. Settle down. The bell did ring.
(Class sits down in chairs.)
TEACHER: Now… today is a special day. Today we have a brand new student! His name is Johanne, and he’s from Paris. Why don’t you come up here and tell us about yourself.
JOHN: (Walks up to the front of the room) Hi, I’m John. I’m from Paris. I like to play football.
TEACHER: In America we call “football” (Does air quotes) soccer. Are you very good at soccer?
TEACHER: (Cuts him off) Oh, I’m sure you’re great. What did your family do for a living in Paris?
JOHN: We grew potatoes.
TEACHER: Oh… in America, we have a state to do that.
TEACHER: So how long have you been in America?
TEACHER: Oh wait, you got here at the start of the summer, right? Well, I hope that--
JOHN: I’M FROM IDAHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TEACHER: Ohhhhhh…. Wait, this is Johanne. (Gestures to the other kid in the front)
JOHANNE: Bonjour! (French accent) What is going on?
#163 NARRATION- The pimple
NARRATOR: (British Accent) This is Penny. She is an ordinary teenage girl, and like many ordinary teenage girls, she has acne. On this particular day, she has a large pimple on the end of her nose. How embarrassing. (Chuckles)
PENNY: (Covers her nose with an embarrassed look on her face)
NARRATOR: Now, like many people who have acne, Penny wishes she could hide under her bed for the entire day, but sadly, she has school. Even worse, school is full of people, and people will undoubtedly judge her.
PEOPLE: (8 People walk onstage)
NARRATOR: Poor Penny must endure having a zit with everyone watching. Oh look, here she goes. When she realizes that there are people around, she attempts to casually leave.
PENNY: (Starts to back up)
NARRATOR: But noo. Three of her peers walk up to her to converse with her.
3 PEOPLE: (Walk up to Penny)
NARRATOR: Penny has no desire to talk with other human being while enduring the terrible ordeal of having a zit. So she backs away in hopes of avoiding conversation. Oh, but what a clumsy girl she is, she accidentally bumps into one of the cutest boys in her grade. Again, how embarrassing.
PENNY: (Bumps into a PERSON)
NARRATOR: She attempts to turn her face from him so that he won’t see the horrible zit on her nose, but as fate would have it, this brings her face to face with yet another cute boy. This day is just not going well.
PENNY: (Turns around and is face to face with another PERSON)
NARRATOR: Because of her nasty bit of luck, Penny decides she has had enough human interaction for the day. She plans to run to the bathroom to sit in a stall for the rest of the day. But, the poor girl runs into even more people on her way there
PENNY: (Runs into the remaining 3 PEOPLE on her way off stage)
NARRATOR: Let us hope that she can avoid contact with her peers for the rest of the day, but if not, it will be a good laugh for the rest of us. (Chuckles and walks offstage)
#164 SUPERHERO- Sleeperman
Setting: Stephanie is sitting at her desk at home working on homework. She is very tired and is struggling to stay awake while she finishes.
STEPHANIE: (Yawns) Ok, I’ve only got 10 math problems left. C’mon, Stephanie, you can stay awake.
SLEEPER MAN: (Jumps onstage and strikes a heroic pose) Never fear! Sleeper Man is here!
SLEEPER MAN: I said: NEVER FEAR! SLEEPER MAN IS HERE!
STEPHANIE: I heard you the first time. I just wanted to know what you’re doing here.
SLEEPER MAN: Well I heard someone in distress. I’m pretty sure it was you.
STEPHANIE: I’m not in distress.
SLEEPER MAN: Well you did yawn, didn’t you?
SLEEPER MAN: That means you want to get to sleep right?
STEPHANIE: Yeah, but I can’t.
SLEEPER MAN: That’s why I’m here. To help you go to sleep. (Points at her)
STEPHANIE: No, don’t! I’ve got to do my homewor--- (falls asleep with her head on her desk)
SLEEPER MAN: My work here is done.
#165 DRAMATIC PLAY- Losing her
Setting: 2 grandparents and a dad are sitting around a bed, where a woman is lying. 3 kids are asleep in a different room.
DAD: (Holding the woman’s hand) I love you. More than anything in the world.
WOMAN: (Faintly) I love you.
GRANDMA: My little girl. You can’t go. Not yet. I- I’m not ready. (Buries her head in the GRANDPA’S shoulder)
DAD: I always thought we would raise our kids together. It never crossed my head that I’d be doing it alone. (Puts his head over their clasped hands)
WOMAN: (Faintly) I love you.
DAD: Please. Please stay.
(It is silent for a little while. The Dad with his head over his wife’s hand, sobs shaking him. The Grandma crying into the Grandpa’s shoulder, with the GRANDPA, looking on the verge of tears)
DAD: (With a shuddering breath) She’s gone. I’d better go tell the kids. (Walks to the kids’ bedroom) Maya, Cassie, Nelson… You’re mom passed away. Do you want to say goodbye?
NELSON: No… I want mommy… (Rolling over and falling asleep)
CASSIE: (Sits up) She’s gone? ...Really? (Her voice cracking. Gets up and runs over to her mom)
MAYA: (Stumbles from bed and collapses on top of her mom)
CASSIE: (Sobbing) Mommy!! Come back! Please! Why’d you have to go?
DAD: (Puts his arms around his girls)
#166 FAIRYTALES - A giant tale
Setting: They are in a psychiatrist's office. GIANT is reclined on one of those sofas that psychiatrists always have. PSYCHIATRIST is sitting on a chair with a notepad and pen.
PSYCHIATRIST: That must have been awful. What happened next?
GIANT: Well, my wife came in, and I smelled something funny. I asked her what was in her apron, but you know her, always keeping things from me. I could have swore that she had a human in her pocket. I asked her again, but she refused to tell me… You know I’ve been working on my temper,right?
PSYCHIATRIST: Yes, you’ve been doing better. You’re down to about one outburst a week.
GIANT: So, anyway, I went to my treasure room to calm down. I always love to listen to my singing harp and count my gold coins while stroking my golden goose. It soothes the soul… The problem is that when I got there,I couldn’t find my harp or my goose anywhere.
PSYCHIATRIST: Are you sure you didn’t just misplace them?
GIANT: No, I’m sure I didn’t. So, I went outside looking for my wife to ask her if had seen them anywhere, and guess what I saw? A dirty, no-good, human peasant! And guess what he had?! My singing harp, a sack full of coins, and my golden goose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Practically screaming)
PSYCHIATRIST: All right, all right, let’s calm down now. Breathe with me… In..two..three.. four…….Out..two..three..four. (BOTH breathing deeply)
#167 FAIRYTALES- The concerned queen
Setting: The KING and QUEEN are in their throne room. Both sitting in fancy thrones.
QUEEN: I’m worried about our son.
KING: (Distractedly) Why’s that?
QUEEN: Well, have you seen the kind of girls he’s been taking home lately?
KING: Yes… yes….
QUEEN: Well, he’s a prince, and I do not want him settling for some ill-mannered bum who just wants his money.
QUEEN: So, I was thinking, we should make a test of some sort to see if a girl is good enough for our precious little boy.
KING: Oh yeah…
QUEEN: The question is, what kind of test? I mean it can’t be too easy, but it can’t be impossible. Do you have any ideas honey?
KING: Umm… peas
QUEEN: Yes! That’s perfect! We’ll put a pea under one hundred mattresses, and if a girl can feel the pea through the mattresses, we’ll know she’s the perfect girl for our son! (Walks offstage excitedly)
KING: (To the audience) I didn’t hear a word she just said.
#168 ACTION PLAY
Ruining a very serious moment
Two people walk on stage. One walking on from each side of the stage.
They both glare and stare at each other as menacingly as possible.
They continue to approach each other, and just as they are getting close, one trips, and falls to the floor.
The other laughs and walks off stage, leaving the person who fell on the floor, looking thoroughly embarrassed.
#169 the forgotten support group (Inanimate object scene)
*Book, VCR, Cassette tape, Zune, and a Record are in a support group together.*
B: Hi I’m Book.
All: Hi book.
B: So I’m here today because I’m sick of those electronic things. I’m so much better than those thingys. Just because you can’t read me in the dark, and sometimes your bookmark will fall out of me, but you know, I’m still useful! Those electronics are taking over everything!
CT: Yeah I agree! Just because there’s those fancy iPod things that can play your music anywhere! It’s sickening!
Zune: I don’t even get me started on iPods!
CT: Wait, sorry but what are you?
Z: I’m a Zune, I’m the Microsoft version of an iPod!
VCR: But you’re not even one of them fancy touch screen things.
Z: Yeah so! Like you’re one to talk!
VCR: Well, I mean at least I still have uses.. What to people use for? A paper wait?
Z: Oh be quite! I can hold up to 64 gb of music!
CT: Or hold down 64 pieces of paper..
R: What are you young whipper snappers bickering about? Wait where am I? This isn’t Bingo!
#170 Got ya ( 2 person scene)
*starts with Herbert falling and hitting his head *
Fredrik : Herbert are you okay?!
H: Better than okay my dear. I feel alive, and powerful!
F: Herbert what's wrong? You sound different?
H: Why do you keep calling me Herbert? I should be addressed as president Hoover!
F: Wait what? No you're Herbert Johnson, and I'm Fredrik Johnson your brother!
H: Oh I get it. You're my Butler! Freddy! And you're just trying to please your dear presidents sense of humor.
F: No! I'm your brother! Are mom's name is Suzy and our dad is Dave! We have two dogs and you hate them both!
H: Oh you’re funny Freddy! But don’t you think you’re working just a bit to hard on this?
F: Oh come on Herbert! You have to believe me! I’m your brother!!
H: Oh I know Fredrick, but that was funny huh?
#171 The crack (Action)
Guy is on his morning walk with his momma.
They are just walking along when the man sees a crack in the road.
He decides he should test out the old wives tell and step on it and see if anything to his momma because he’s pretty sure it’s just a myth.
He slowly starts to do it, then chickens out, then slowly goes again, but then chickens out once more.
He then goes back on his idea and continues walking.
as he takes his next step he doesn’t realize where he is and steps on the crack.
in panic he turns around and looks at his mom, but nothing had happened.so he shrugs and continues on his way.
as he turns around and keeps walking, his mom snaps and falls to the ground.
#172. The stakeout gone wrong (narration)
Male Narrator: We begin our story up in the tree tops. No not that high in the tree tops! There. Here we see a girl, but not just any girl, a very creepy girl. This girl is on her very own stake out. Of sorts.. She is staking out her dream man. Oh he’s just a hunk. But does he know she thinks he’s a hunk? Yes probably. Does he care? No probably not! But she does! She does to the point of spying on the cinnamon role of a man! What we see now is this young, creepy, girl, pulling out her phone to make a call. Probably to her BFF Becky, who also thinks this man is scrumdidlyumbcious. The phone call was loud. Just like how normal teenage girls talk. So loud I’m pretty sure it caught the man's attention. So was he flattered that someone was outside his house, in a tree, spying on him? No! He was creeped out and was just waiting for the right moment to go catch her! Just then, the girl ends her phone call, and as she goes to put her phone back in her pocket, she loses her balance and falls, and falls, and falls, some more… Then hits the ground! Now the man knows he can go out there! He runs to the door! She starts panicking! He opens the door, and starts his way to her, just as he gets there, She looks up, his glaring, she grins, and runs off. Now kids, the moral is, Just because a man looks delicious, does not mean you can spy on him. You will probably fall out of a tree.
#173 Batman got lazy (superhero)
*Bat signal in the sky*
Robin: Batman! We got to go! The flashed the signal!
Robin: Crap not this again. Come on we have to go!
Batman: Robin, I think you can handle this one. Go on without me.
Robin: Bruce, This can’t be a monthly thing.You eat all of our ice cream, and that’s not okay.
Batman: I have a hard time okay! My life's emotional!
Alfred: More ice cream sir?
Batman&Robin: Not now Alfred!!
Robin: Fine. Since you’re gonna be like this I will go by myself. Alone. to die.
Batman: Alright. Goodluck.
Robin: Ah come on man!
Batman: Oh, Robin?
Batman: Bring back more ice cream. Preferably Rocky Road!
#174 Binge Watcher (Superhero)
Narrator: Our story takes in a home, but not just any home, a home of a hero, but not just any hero, a useless hero, and not just just any useless hero, a very lazy, useless hero.
BW: You know I can hear you!
Narrator: And this is where our story begins
*Narrator to the side of the stage in a whisper* Binge watcher is sitting on the couch, doing what looks like to be scratching his butt, when suddenly tragedy strikes!
BW: Ah crap! Honey! I’m out of potato chips! How am I supposed to finish this season of The Office without potato chips!
Wife: Honey It’s okay. Finishing shows is practically you’re super power.
BW: Oh wait, I had a second bag tucked under the cushions, just incase the emergency ever came about. False alarm!
Narrator: What he doesn’t know is, he has had those potato chips under there for 2 years.He had his stomach pumped 4 hours later.
#175 Humpty Dumpty (POV)
KING: WE HAD A RULE!!! No one was allowed to sit on the wall. I said it, I wrote it, but of course the dumb egg couldn’t listen. I am the king here, I must be obeyed!! Calm down.. Calm down.. Alright, let me backtrack. Humpty has always been a wee bit rebellious. Stealing apples, tripping baby’s, yelling at his teachers, but there was one rule that always scared him. Sitting on the wall. He would walk by it and just laugh. Oh I knew he was planning something. I just didn’t know what yet.. Late one night Humpty decided to sneak out of his egg carton, and this was the night he was going to do it. He was going to sit on my wall, MY WALL!!!! As he walked by my house late that night, his loud footsteps woke me from my sleep, and I knew where he was going, and I couldn’t let him do it. I followed him up and just watch him sit on my wall until I just couldn’t take it anymore! So I slowly started towards him, and I got closer, but just as I was getting there some poor street thief runs by knocking Humpty off the wall! That was my job! But oh well, at least I can have some fun and take him to prison.
#176 The Breakup (Dramatic)
Boyfriend: *With the bro* You know what guys, I’m tired of this relationship crap! Constantly having to check up, always having to text her, Instead of doing crazy stuff with the guys i “get” to sit in her basement and watch t.v.. Nah I’m done!
Bro #1: But bro, what about the kissing?
Boyfriend: Aw yeah. The kissing…. And the holding hands, and the cuddling.. Wait no! I need bro time! I’m getting soft. I’m doin right now!
Bro #2: Over a text?
Boyfriend: Oh come on, I’ll Have some decency. I’ll snapchat her!
*Now to the Girls*
Girlfriend: He just broke up with me. he just broke up with me. Oh my gosh, He just broke up with me!!!
Girl #1: What how?
Girlfriend: Over a snapchat!
Girl #1: A snapchat? He doesn’t even have the decency to text?
Girlfriend: Oh no this is not how this is ending!
*5 minutes later*
Girlfriend:Where is he?!
Bro #1: The boy you’re trying to reach has temporarily jumped off the earth.
*GF shoves him only to find BF right behind him*
Girlfriend: You think you can break up with me? over a snapchat! that is not okay!
*ends with girl just blowing up*
PERSON: Oh look at this beautiful Pansy! (slight swooning)
PERSON 2: Yes it is very pretty, come on we need to go.
POPPY: I’m a freaking POPPY! They always get it wrong!
TULIP: Hey it could be worse, I keep getting called a daisy a freaking daisy!
POPPY: Pansies aren't even that cool, or pretty! who the heck would want to be a pansy!
PANSY: HEY! I love being a pansy and obviously you aren't that loved since everyone thinks you're me!
TULIP: Pansies are not cool, obviously look at your name, PANSY
PANSY: YEA really! what kind of a name is Tulip?
POPPY: (cutting Tulip off) LADIES ladies you’re both pretty here! Can I go home now?
TULIP: I AM A MAN!
PANSY: Besides you’re the one who started this! Wait wat the heck Tulip you’re a MAN!
TULIP: Yes I am! and poppy you are home, what are you going to do uproot yourself and leave?
POPPY: Yes I will (walks off stage)
Person 1: YOU STOLE MY SKITTLES
Person 2: (mouth full of rainbowed nummys) It wasn’t me!!
Person 1: DON'T LIE TO ME I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THOSE DELICIOUS RAINBOW EXPLOSIONS OF YUMMYNESS!!
Person 2: well go get your own skittles these ones are mine
Person 1: I PAID MY BLOOD MONEY FOR THOSE AND YOU ARE JUST EATING THEM WITHOUT ME I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!! THOSE ARE MINE I WANT THEM BACK!! GIVE THEM TO ME!!
Person 2: If you want them so bad come get them. (runs off stage)
Person 1: I WILL! (runs off stage after Person 2)
Person 1: This book is my dear baby, and you dared to put your disgusting hands on it, i love this book, don't you touch it.
Person 2: Liar this book is mine, and you know it
Person 1: I was the one to buy it, it's got my name here
person 2: You just wrote that in three minutes ago
Person 1: It's been there for ages, you know last year when i bought it.
Person 2: Nu huh, i bought this one last year i remember, i read it in a day!
Person 1: No it's not, you are so insufferable. (leaves)
Cookie 1: What a nice day in this lovely cookie jar
Cookie 2: Oh isn't it great
(Cookie jar lid opens)
Cookie 1: what is that bright light?
Cookie 2: oh god look it THE HAND
Cookie 1: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE
Cookie 2: NO I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE
(Cookie 1 gets picked up and bitten)
(Cookie 1 screams shrilly)
Cookie 2: NO I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME TAKE ME TOO
(Cookie 2 gets picked up and eaten as well)
Lady Lollipop: (singing) lollipop lollipop oh lollilollilolliPOP
Human One: I found a unicorn!!!
Human two: I see it too!! (starts taking pictures)
Lady Lollipop: HEY I have a name you know!
Misure Magic: Shut up Poptart! They can’t know we can talk!
Lady Lollipop: I'm Lady Lollipop!
Senore Sparkles: Would you two knock it off and just hide already!
Princess Poptart: Jeez who died and gave you the big horn Misure Magic?
Senore Sparkles: I am Senore Sparkles, the leader of this convoy!
Misure Magic: Just hide! There’s humans murking about!
Human One: THERE’S MORE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!
Human Two: shut up!! you’ll scare them off!
Senior Sparkles: dang It! We’ll have to erase their memories.
Misure Magic: Fine I’ll do it. *explosion of sparkles, glitter, and rainbow butterflies.*
BRACE: Brace yourselves it’s Monday!
BOOK: oh no, I was up late last night, why did she have to read me till 3 in the morning?
PIANO BOOK: well she didn’t even practice with me at all yesterday, slacker!
CARDS: keep it down!
BRACE: wake up you foolish fool!
CARDS I am NOT needed yet!
PIANO BOOK: Chap Stick! Chapped lips 10 o'clock!
(Chapstick starts to hyperventilate)
CHAPSTICK: I’m not ready, I’m not ready
(Screams as she is picked up)
(Book curls up in a ball and starts to sleep)
BRACE: get your lazy pages off the floor!
CARDS: shut up and get in the backpack!
BOOK: books aren’t meant to be read that late at night.
CHAPSTICK: (shuddering) she hasn’t even brushed her teeth yet
PIANO BOOK: oh I do hope she uses me today, you know she needs the practice on the piano
CARDS: be happy she doesn’t use you, my cards are all bent from yesterday
CHAPSTICK: it’s time to get in the backpack let’s roll
BOOK: My pages are getting all bent!
PIANO BOOK: bye guys! Have fun at school! Ugh she didn’t practice with me… again
CHAPSTICK: oh no my cap came off!
BOOK: you better not get your insides all over me
BRACE: we’re at school… brace yourselves… again
THE WICKED WITCH: honesty! Is my name really the wicked witch now? Just because I’m all sorts of green and warty doesn’t mean I’m evil, come on all these little munchkins, and people in the emerald city and not a single one likes me I’ve tried to be a good ruler but I just can’t these creatures just keep rebelling against me like I did something wrong, seriously I didn’t do anything! I just overthrew their previous ruler, and killed thousands in the process, and ……. I should just stop talking now … I should really go … farewell peasants!!!! Oh oops, sorry….. (Mumbles apologies walking off stage)
MAMA HEN: Cluck, Henrita, and Peep Come here right now!
CLUCK: Here mama,
MAMA: Good thank you Peep, now where is Cluck and Henrita?
CLUCK: I AM CLUCK!
MAMA: Oh cluck son i'm sorry
CLUCK: What? You can't recognise your own son?
(Enters PEEP And Henrita)
MAMA: There you two are! Peep explain to your brother I love him and know who he is.
HENRITA: I’m Henrita mama!
PEEP: I’m Peep!
MAMA: Oh goodness we need to get name tags!
THREE CHICKS: And what be like cows? You can’t recognise your own chicks!?
MAMA: Well um, of course I can!
PEEP: Then prove it (three chicks run about in a circle)
CLUCK: K Mama who is who?
MAMA: Well you’re Henrita of course! (pointing to Cluck)
CLUCK: I’M CLUCK!! I AM A MAN!
MAMA: Oh, well then you’re Henrita (pointing to Henrita) and you’re Peep. (Pointing to Peep)
ClUCK: See you can’t get your son right but you get daughters just fine! (runs off stage)
185( the stage starts with Dr. Phil on his tv show, sitting in his chair)
Dr Phil: Welcome to the Dr. Phil. Today we will have a special guests. our guest will be Captain . Amercia.
Mrs. America: Oh thank you. I feel so privileged to be here.Wait What?( Mrs. America sits there looking confused.)
(Captain America walks out smiling. Very Cocky and sits down next to Mrs. AMerica.)
Dr. Phil: oh Miss America, it’s good to have you, but we weren't planning on you coming. today was supposed to be Captain America’s day on the show. I think my agents called the wrong person.
Captain America: I am Captain America.
Dr. Phil: Oh look she has a sense of humor too. ( Laughs and slaps captain america's knee.)
<Joe Biden walks on stage>
Joe: HI i am Joe Biden. Vice president. all this America talk got me interested in joining the show.
Dr. Phil: (Dr. Phil just smiles like he is high.)
Miss America: Okay i am so confused? i thought you wanted me to come on the show to talk about my win on Miss America! why is Joe Biden and Captain America here?
Dr.Phil:(Just smiles at her)
Captain America: I am very confused! I thought I was the guest today!
Miss America: Yeah I agree with Captain America
Joe Biden: I'm just here for Dr. Phil and America.
(Dr. Phil turns to audience smiling.)
Dr.Phil: That's all for today folks.
(Whole bunch of kids start running around stage.)
Kid 1: ( Standing in the middle Screaming.) There is water that means there is a fire!
Kid 2: (Laying down on the ground all dramatic.) Oh no were all going to die!
kid 3: “Crying”
Fire Sensor: What are yall crying about. I am here you guys are fine.
Kid 2: We are gonna die with ghost. (Starts wailing. )
Fire Sensor: I Am not a ghost I am the fire sensor..
Kid 3: You can talk. (wipes tears away)
Kid 2: ( Starts being dramatic.) Don't give in they are trying to take you Jared.
Kid 1: Oh be quiet.
Fire Sensor: You guys are fun let's be friends.
Kids all together: Friends!
(Curtains Open. Girl is standing there in the middle of the stage.)
(Girl starts running and runs into another guy. Girl gets scared and runs away from him.)
( Girl falls down and nods no to someone across the stage. She tries to get up but shows all weakness.)
(Man comes and picks her up and shows her that he is good by nodding his head and patting her hand, Showing sympathy for her. He hands her food. She eats it fast you can tell she is very hungry. He hands her a water bottle. She drinks it fast showing she is thirsty.)
(She thanks him by handing him a ring and patting his shoulder and he gives her a basket of food and water.)
(She starts to walk away. And then she runs back and hugs him. The guy looks surprised but then he smiles and pats her on the back.)
( Then she walks away waving goodbye and he waves back. they both leave stage. Curtains close.
188 superhero 2
Starts with sick Mariko in bed. He looks red and sweaty and his eyes look tired and red. He freaks out and throws all his sheets again. He is so hot he is gasping for cold air. His mom walks in.)
Mom: Here is some gatorade honey.
Mariko: Thank you mom. (Saying through clenched teeth trying not to scare his mother.)
Mom: Mariko if there is something that you need to tell me.
Mariko: No mom just go.
(His mother leaves with a sad yet disappointed look.)
(Mariko is trying to stay calm by putting his head between his knees but he starts to look uncomfortable. Making painful grunts and screaming through his teeth and still trying to get comfortable the mother comes back on stage with determination.
Mom: I am calling the doctor.
Mariko: Mom no
(His mother walks to a spot on the stage like she is picking a phone up and calling. Mariko looks surprised and scared while looking at his hands. Mariko freaks out looking side to side then jumps out the window. Off stage.)
Mom:(she starts talking to the office.) Yes there is something wrong with my son. ( She looks for mariko to see how he is doing. She drops what she is doing and looks scared.) Mariko!
Katerina: Maralyse! Maralyse!
Maralyse: ( Jumps on stage and grabs katerinas arm.)
Katerina:Lets hide here.(they hide under a table.)
Maralyse: What is going on,
Katerina: I dont know it all happened so fast
Maralyse: Who invited you to the party. Jonatthan invited me.
Katerina: Yea same here. But jonathan is dead
Maralyse: Then Who is he?
Katerina: That.(she pauses for a second) That I dont know.
Man: That is something a lot of people don't know.
(four people are having a meeting at a table)
Jessie: Alright how are we going to take Jackie down so I can get my sister back. Nick where is the files?
Nick: I dont know there gone.
Wendy: How are they gone I Handed them to you.
Nick: Wendy dont freak out It is not my fault I put them here.
Danielle: Well there not there nick!
Nick: I am sorry danielle
(Jackie jumps on stage).
(Jackie looks at jessie)
Jackie: You won't be able to find your sister. Because I am your sister.
( They are in space and they are dogs.)
Scout: Greta someone is entering our void. We need to turn on ivisibility control.
Greta: On it!
Scout: It is too late they see us.
(Greta gets shot.)
Scout: Greta!(Runs to her side)
Greta: I am ok scout. I am finally going to see dog heaven.
Scout: I need you dont go!
Greta: I love you. ( Greta dies and scout sobs.)
( Gina walks in and starts dancing. She has headphones and she is listening to some beats. She tries to get ashley to get up and dance.)
(Ashley shows a angry face and refuses to dance.)
(Gina tries to make herself look like she is having the time of her life. She starts dancing all over the place.) (Gina starts to go crazy but then stops realizing that ashley is still angry)
(Gina puts on happy the song and ashley looks up and smiles)(Ashley starts dancing and gina smiles and they both dance off stage.)(Curtains close)
Setting: At the Malibu Beach, in the Malibu high school.
(Everyone walking in the halls and Barbie and Ken are talking at her locker, the new kid Tim, walks over to her locker.)
Tim: (holding up a paper.) Hey can you show me where the gym is for P.E.?
Barbie: Yeah sure I’m going there right now, just follow me.
Ken: Barbie why are you being so nice to this nerd?
Barbie: He is the new kid he doesn’t know the way around the school yet.
Ken: Fine just meet me here after class. (Leaves)
Barbie: So where are you from?
Tim: I just moved here from across the lake.
(Walk into class)
Barbie: That’s cool just choose a seat to take most of them are usually free.
Tim: Alright thanks? (Looks around quizzically, and notices it’s a gym and we sit on the floor.)
Teacher Man: Alright class I would like to welcome Tim he is a new student so be nice to him.
Tim: (leaning over to Barbie) Whoa I didn’t know Buzz Lightyear went to this school, oh and the G.I. Joe crew, Whoa even dinosaurs look a velociraptor.
Barbie: Yeah a lot of famous toys come to this school.
Teacher Man: Alright every one lets stand up and get in lines to stretch.
(Everyone gets up and tries to stretch but there toys and struggle a lot.)
Teacher Man: Alright class now buddy up and do some jumping jacks.
Tim: How the crap are we supposed to do that? My arms only go forward and backward??
Teacher Man: Drop it and give me 20!!
Tim: I physically can’t do that??
Teacher Man: You know what just leave!!
(Tim walks out of class)
Tim: Toto, We’re not in Kansas anymore!
Setting: Charlie brown’s house getting ready for dinner and kids are outside playing.
Mama Brown: Come in for dinner!!!
(Everyone walks in)
Mama Brown: What were you Guys doing?
Charlie: Woh woh woh woh. Woh woh woh woh!
Mama Brown: What?? Why are you talking like that? Where do you get it from?
Setting: In a room with different kind of toys.
G.i.Joe: Welcome to class I guess.
Racecar: I’m a freaking racecar!
Firetruck: I’m a freaking firetruck!
Ambulance: I’m a freaking Ambulance!
Plane: I’m a freaking Airplane!!
(Dinosaur breaks in)
G.I.Joe: Oh no!
Racecar: Oh no!
Firetruck: Oh no!
Ambulance: Oh no!!
Plane: Oh no!
Cool Aid Guy: (Breaks in) Oh Yeah!!!!
Setting: Batman, and robin are going to see Cat woman!
Robin: Oh my gosh where are we going?
Batman: We are going to see cat woman we haven’t seen her in a while!
Batman: It’s this door!
Robin: Aww that a door-able, and why does it smell weird?
(Knocks on door)
Catwoman: Oh hey guys!
Robin: What the?? What happened??
Batman: Hold on Catwoman I need to talk to Robin!
Robin: What happened to her she’s fat and has like 30 cats!
Batman: Yeah she has always been a cat lady!
Robin: I think when I thought of when you said cat woman I was thinking of her in the comics!
Catwoman: What you think I let myself go!!!
Robin: oh no!!
Catwoman: Then what the h are you talking about?
Robin: oh how beautiful you are!
Batman: Nice visit were leaving now!
Setting: In my living room all playing Xbox.
Kallan: Which one am i?
Brady: You’re Green!
Russell: I’m Green
Brady: Russell Your purple!
Jakota: Purple isn’t even up there??
Russell: Kallan you’re orange.
Jakota: What game are we playing?
Russell: This is FIFA!
Jakota: This is stupid!
(Someone gets slid and taken out in the game)
Jakota: HAHAHAHAHAHA this is the funniest game ever!!
Kallan: I’m red!!!
Everyone else: You’re orange!!!!
Kallan: My name is Rod and I like to party!
Setting: In the middle of the forest next to a cabin there is a bear a park ranger and a baby bear. Tim is the baby bear, Jim is the bear, and Jimothy is the park ranger. Jim is on home plate holding a baseball bat, Tim is on the pitchers plate and Jimothy is in the outfield.
Tim: Batters up!
Jim: Bring it on nerd!!
(Pitches Ball and hits it right to Jimothy)
Jimothy: I caught it your out!
(Everyone switches places with Tim Hitting and Jimothy pitching.)
Tim: Watch this old man!
(Jimothy pitches ball, Tim hits it over next to a tree)
Tim: Ahh nuts I’m not getting it!
Jim: Ahhhh! There’s a rattle snake on it!
Jimothy Jim Poke it with a stick!
Jim: Uh how about no!
Tim: Oh c’mon you pansy!
Jim: Alright fine!
(Pokes snake with stick)
Snake: You little. This is my ball
(Chases everyone in a circle while circus music plays and they all get tired and lay down breathing heavily)
Tim: I’m going to take a nap:
Snake: Me too!
(All fall asleep)
Kim: (Comes and steals all their stuff) Mmmm Sweet revenge. I’ll show you Jimothy.
Setting: Batman is just chillin in the city at night.
(Batman sees bat signal and runs off in a swoosh)
Batman: Dun nan nan nan dun nun nun nun Batman!! Wow that stupid song is really catchy. No wonder the bad guys sing that thing.
(Arrives at the bad guy place)
Bad guy: You can’t stop me!
Batman: Dude… I’m Batman!!
Bad guy: Ok you’re right. (Puts his hand together for him to hand cuff him)
Bad guy 2: (Comes out from behind batman and jumps on him)
Batman: Oh sneak attack! (Kicks the crap out of the two guys)
Batman: IM BATMAN!!
Setting: Aqua Man is in the ocean while some one is getting jumped on land!
Girl: AHH, someone help me please.
Guy: No one can hear you we are way out on the beach!
Aqua man: I can hear you!
Man: Your aqua man what are you going to do?
(Aqua man throws star fish next to him)
Aqua man: If you don’t like star fish you’re not going to like what I just did! Oh I just called some fish to come help. (Tiny fish start jumping out of water) Oh look they’re here
Man: You know what? This guy is so annoying you can just keep your stuff lady! I’m getting out of here!
Aqua man: Yes!!!!
The legend of Sleepy Hollow Twist
The headless horseman takes a seat in a local Massachusetts bar full of scum and villainy. He looks over at his dear friend Sauran to converse about his wretched feelings towards Ichabod Crane.
Headless Horseman: (sighs) Hello…. Sauran
Sauran: (swallowing his drink) mmmhh… Hello John.
Headless Horseman: How’ve you been old friend?
Sauran: (quickly) good good…. Except I lost the ring…. Again.
Headless Horseman: Wow… (chuckles) You need to keep better track of that thing.
Sauran: (sadly) shut up! You don’t have a head you pumpkin nosed bafoon.
Headless Horseman: (Anxiously) Well now listen! Everyone in the world thinks that I being The
Headless Horseman, live a lonesome dark life full of hatred and guilt because I lost my head but this is
not the case you see… you see I like the pumpkin, it sparks an interest to people especially the ladies
if you’ll take my meaning. And the whole Ichabod Crane thing…(sighs disgusted) I chased that man
down for days... I did’t want his head yugh! Did you see his nose? No no I just hated that dreadful
name…. Ichabod?.... I-I-Ichabod? Crane? What?..(sighs) Well anyways that’s why I went after him.
Sauran: Huh because of his name?
Headless Horseman: Well yes… (Sauran keeps himself from laughing while the headless horseman
looks at him intently) You think this is funny? INow that I think about it, I don’t like your name either!
Sauran: (stands up angrily) would you like to tell that to Shelob… the spider?
Headless Horseman: (calmly yet quickly) I like your name… I do! I like it a lot. (Sauran walks away)
Bar tender! another.
The Fullfiller is an iconic superhero that can make any being receive the nutrition that they need and
make them full without them having to eat any food. His friends start to question whether they enjoy
the fullfiller’s power or if they think he should simmer down. They sit at a wedding reception excited
to eat the wedding food.
Fullfiller- (turns to his friend) Hey Dallas, Nice wedding ahh?
Dallas- Yeah it’s great! Im so happy for Noodlepinky and clara. Hey Fullfiller can you hand the salt?
Fullfiller- (hesitant and confused) Well I could but you know you don’t have to eat those potatoes and
pork… I can just make you full, I’m the Fullfiller, that’s what I do. (Grins)
Dallas- (smiles while chewing his food) look that sounds nice but I like to taste good food.
Fullfiller- (stares at him lividly and whispers) Ok… OK… I get it!!! Well taste this! (Fullfiller pulls all of
the nutrition in dallas’s body out) Hungry now?! I just took all your nutrition!
Dallas- What the cheese nuggets!! You can do that?
Fullfiller- Yes and in fact, you are probably anorexic now.
Dallas- (looks to the audience) Shoot cousin!
(Slap-papa is a superhero that slaps like none other. Two policemen are speaking to a criminal they
have handcuffed and he won’t cooperate. They call slap-papa to come and do the job.)
Policemen 1- You listen to me you punk nosed snacklebaffer and you listen close! Now I don’t want
you ever stealing Hubba-bubba bubblegum from that gas station ever again you hear?
Criminal- (angrily shakes while kneeling with his handcuffs behind his back) Ooooh shutup!
Policemen- Well now you listen here you turkey faced honky! You don’t talk to policemen that way
ever you hear!
Criminal- aaaugh why don’t you just shuuuut-aaaaap!
Policemen 1- (quickly pulling his phone out) That’s it, I can’t take it anymore! I’m calling him,
Policemen 2- (whispers) No..
Policeman 1- (on the phone) Hello Slap-papa, I need you---
Slap-papa- I’m already here officer! Already here. (walks over to the criminal and slaps him)
Criminal- (whaling in pain)
Officers- Well not that bad!
Slap-papa- (slaps everyone to the ground) haaaa!
(A young boy named Samuel Cohburn sits on a rocking chair in a loathsome depression.)
Samuel: My name is Samuel not Sam… I wish that I was my pet gold fish right now, or should I say
“RN” because that’s all pop-culture has to offer. Ahh it’s alright I guess I’m being maybe a little
judgmental because… because… NO! That is so dumb! I want to be my pet Goldfish right now
because I could just sit there, afloatin’. Every day I could eat ‘lil’ fishy food all the time and wiggle
round. But no! Ooooohhh no! I get to sit on this rocking chair at age 14 on time-out! My name isn’t
Sam, not Samuel! I would rather be freezing in the outskirts of Siberia on a pink baboon next to
Doctor Doofenshmirtz. My name is Samuel, not Sam! Get with the Program? No! There is no program,
so don’t tell me to get with it and don’t call me Sam, my name is Samuel! I wish I could be in a waste
pit at the zoo instead of sitting here. These stress balls don’t work. (Stage whisper dramatically) My….
Name… Is Samuel… Not Sam.
(Spider Man dressed casually sits at an Applebee’s bar next to a low-life college frat boy wearing a “Tap Out” Hat and a Metal Mulita T-shirt)
Frat Boy: Sup Bro what you getting?
Spiderman: Uuhh just a Mountain Dew. You?
Frat Boy: (chuckles) Are you kiddin me right now? A mountain Dew? (He turns to the bar tender) Bar tender, get me the usual but this time put extra hot sauce and carrot juice inside! (Turns back to Spiderman) Look buddy that’s not how it rolls around here in my bar! My bar!
Spiderman: Dude, we’re in an Applebees!
Frat Boy: (He sees a spider on the counter and squashes it violently) Bar Tender! There’s spiders crawlin around on my counter! Are you kidding me?
Spiderman: What’s so bad about spiders? (as he leans in close to the frat boy)
Frat Boy: (angrily stares at Spiderman and grabs the collar of his shirt! Spiderman shoots him everywhere with webs creating a cocoon around the frat boy) W-ww-wait! Wait! You’re Spiderman? I have Spiderman boxers on right now!
Spiderman: (He shoves the frat boy down and turns to the audience) with great power comes great responsibility, even if that means keeping the local Applebees in line.
The Two Twins
(Two British twins, Ramona and Darla walked into a forest to find a witch afloatin in the air)
Ramona: hello witch
Darla: Yes, hello witch
The witch: Hello hmmmmm twins!
Ramona: Why are you afloatin in the air?
The Wich: Silence! I’m afloatin in the air because I please to do so. What are you little buggars doing here? Bug off! (The Witch switched their heads around)
Ramona: (to Darla) you’re me!
Darla: (to Ramona) you’re me! (they both leave the forest)
The Witch: Those little twins are gonna walk on out of this forest alookin the same.
The Middle Earth Relay
(Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee enter a relay race but get put in the children’s division. Frodo and Sam are flustered towards the two men in charge)
Frodo: (walks towards two men in charge laughing at each other’s jokes, Earl and Gus) Excuse me sir? I’d like to enter the Relay
Sam: (catching up due to his slowness) Wait up Mr. Frodo! Wait up! (Panting) Hello sir I’d like to enter the relay as well.
Earl: Alright sign these papers here. (Gus examines the situation)
Frodo: (Frodo and Sam hand the papers to the men) Here.
Gus: examines the papers, laughs and looks at the two hobbits then looks back at the papers) I’m sorry but you two buys can’t enter the adult division, you must enter the youth division.
Frodo: I’m sorry sir, we don’t look of age but I assure you we have experience and we are eligible to enter this race.
Earl: Rules are rules and we must follow them.
Frodo and sam: Oh alright!
Earl: (cuts to race, Earl and Gus are about to set off the race) Ready kids? On your mark, get set, go!
Frodo: (Frodo and Sam comes flying across the race on an eagle)
Gus: Well it’s… It’s one of the eagles of Valinor!
Earl: Well that must be Frodo Baggins and Sam Wise Gamgee the saviors of middle earth! (Surprised) Gandalf?!
Gandalf: (nodding disappointedly) You two have much to learn..
(A man named Blanket sits at the counter of the scone shop staring at the counter)
Waitress Debra: Hey Sir what can I get for ya?
Blanket: My name is Blanket.
Waitress Debra: (pauses for a moment and gets a grin on her face and looks around the room holding in her laugh) Well my names Debra, what can I get ya today?
Blanket: (looks up at her face so seriously and stares at her confused like for a moment.) Two.
Waitress Debra: (looks around again) Two? Two what----
Waitress Debra: (hesitant) Ok, we’ll getchya that right away. (turns around and hands him the plate)
Here you go! (Smiles at him)
Blanket: Thank y---- (plate spills onto floor) you…. You! (Mockingly turning his head) Debraaah. You almost laugh at my name and then you spill my plate on the floor?
Waitress Debra: Me? I didn’t knock your pl---
Blanket: I know your type! You just act aaallll nice! Then you ruin lifes! You have ruined my life Debra! Ruined my life! (man in the shop restrains and pulls away Blanket out of the store while he yells and repeats his words) I just wanted scones! I hate you! I hate you!
Waitress Debra: (Turns to audience and cracks up) His name was blanket! (Starts laughing histerically)
Greg drops his books
Kids on playground: Greg dropped his books! Greg dropped his books!
Greg: Yeah you call me a nerd but if only you knew why I had these books.
Greg opens book and tears out page, makes an airplane and throws it at a kid. Kid fall off playground crying in pain. All kids start running.
Kids: I'm sorry I'm sorry!
Greg: It's too late.
Narrator: Moral of the story, be nice to the nerd.
In a restaurant
Waiter: I'm sorry sir we don't serve french fries. This is a chinese restaurant.
Dave: Just get me what I ordered.
Joanne: Really Dave? Why can't you just listen?
Dave: I SUGGEST YOU GET ME WHAT I ORDERED UNLESS YOU WANT PROBLEMS.
Waiter: That's it. I DO NOT get paid enough for this.
Waiter punches Dave takes off apron and walks out.
Jeff pulls off blankets and moves away from his wife.
Sarah: What are you doing?
Jeff: I told you. It is way too hot to sleep that close.
Sarah: That's what couples are supposed to do Jeff!
Jeff: Sarah, I think we should get a divorce. I've been trying to find a way to tell you but it needs to be said...
Sarah begins to tackle Jeff as he frantically tries to get to the door.
Curtains close as Jeff screams like a girl.
Narrator: It was a dark and cloudy day and Joe was feeling a bit blue.
Joe: What? I'm not even sad?
Narrator: Be quiet! Anyways as I was saying, Joe was feeling blue as he began to walk home in the dark night-
Joe: Ok dude. It's not even night time and I'm literally on my way to school.
Narrator: Just go with it.
Joe: Would you stop narrating my whole life? I'm done with this.
Joe walks off stage.
Narrator: Well. This is awkward...
Superman: Wow this superhero party is pretty great!
Batman: I'm really not having thay great of a time.
Superman: Uh why not? We can all just fly around and drink fruit punch-
Batman: Dude. I can't fly.
Superman: Hahaha! Yeeaaaah. Forgot about that. Well, guess that's why you don't really have the highest ratings.
Batman: What are you talking about?
Superman: Oh. Nevermind!
Superman to Robin: I just almost told him all we are is a bunch of actors in movies... He would be so heartbroken... Poor Batman.
Invisawoman: Hey guys
Invisawoman: what're you all up to?
Superheros: Ok seriously who is talking?
Invisawoman: Guys stop. You do this every time I come over. It's really rude to pretend I'm not here.
Superheros: it's probably just some villan. Whatever.
Spiderman sitting in the corner queitly whispering to spiders.
Superman: He does this at every party...
Hulk standing in the background smashing things.
Black Widow: Are there any NORMAL people here?
All the superheros look at eachother and bust up laughing.
Darla is helping people out in an accident. Cop announces that 2 are dead.
Darla: You have to tell the family don't you?
Cop: that's my job...
Cop goes to persons house and knocks on door.
Cop: Your husband.. He's dead. I'm so sorry ma'am.
Persons husband walks to door.
Husband: Can I help you?
Cop: You were just dead!
217The Real Humpty Dumpty
You know the real story of humpty dumpy. Well you got it all wrong ok, because that story is a cover-up of the real story. Tonight I will tell you the true story of this tragedy. Well as you all know humpty was on the wall minding his own business, but this story isn’t about him it’s about a thief wanting some money. So there he was walking down the streets on the outside of the castle pick-pocketing everyone left and right when he saw the motherlode in an eggs pocket, enough to keep him feed for months. He can’t walk down the street and pick pocket him because he was on the wall facing the street. So he decided to go behind the wall and get him from behind. So as he was closing in for the kill the egg put his hand down right beside the pocket making it even trickier to get the money so he took a step forward to try to get closer, but he tripped and pushed the egg off the big wall sending him to his doooooom. He panicked and herd feet coming for him so he made a run for it. And that is he true story of Humpty Dumpty.
(plays waving flag in the background)
Ooooooooohhh yeeeeaaaaaaaaaa American flag in the house booooooiiiieeeesssss man I love you American people you put me higher than you and even never let me touch the ground yo. You even put me on a flag post so people can put their hands on their hearts and praise me mann.( people sing national anthem) the end
219 .Inanimate objects don't talk
pig: oink oink
boy is at computer doing something
he gets reeeaaaalllyyy mad and starts going nuts
he puts his hand into the fist and punches the monitor
in his rage he throws it across the room
he breathes really heavily then runs out
221 .the floor is lava
kids stand around
all the sudden one of them start pointing at the floor then the chairs
everyone jumps onto a chair
then he/she points to the back door
they all nod
they start jumping from thing to thing
they all made it but one person so far
its a long jump to the next thing but he doudnt make it
he starts screaming and reaching to be saved but they are out of reach
he sinks and stops moving
they all then get back up and leave
222 No Man
House is on fire in the background
civilian 1: my house is on fire can you help me
No Man: No
Civilian 2: a bear is runing rampid through the streets can you help
No Man: No
Civilian 3: you are a superhero aren't you.
No Man: No
Civilian 4: lets get out of here this guy is ussless
No Man: Nok
223 How Dare You
the king: ok guys lets get going this party won't make itself.
People go even faster
one servant trips and pours water on the very tips of his shoes
The king: How daaaareeeeeee yooooouuuuuuuuuu
servant kneels before king pleading
Servant 1: i'm so sorry my lord what would you have me do.
The king makes a gesture to his guards signaling them to take him away
on the way out one of his guards brushes his shoulder
The King: Howwwwwww Daaarrreeeeee Yoooooooouuuuuu
points finger at him
The Thinker Man™: Moma I need to tell you something
moma walks in
Moma: what is it sugar
™: well i think ……..
holds back for a moment waiting for approval
moma talks back in a friendly voice
Moma: it's ok sugar you know you can tell me anything
™: well i here it goes….. I'm addicted to ….. thinking
moma is incredibly shocked and quickly hugs him
Moma: why o why did you do this to us *snifs*
™: I have to go out on my own now….. bye moma
pushes moma away and runs
Moma: (dramatically) nnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
POINT OF VIEWBeast: If I could go back I would still refuse the witch entry into my castle. Not because I’m still rude and heartless, but because if I had granted her entry I would never have met Belle. Belle what a beautiful name and that’s exactly what it means, beauty. I didn’t love Belle from the start I thought who could love a monster like me, but she looked beyond the fur the claws and my powerful jaws and saw the prince I really was. I just wish I had treated her and her father better, but in the end all was well.
POINT OF VIEW
Anna: *Knock Knock* Elsa do you want to build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be snow man!
Elsa: Go away Anna!
Anna: Please I need you.
Elsa: Just go away.
Anna: Okay, bye.
Elsa: She doesn’t know how much I love her, she doesn’t know what I go through every day to make sure she is safe. Then she comes knock, knock, knocking at my door asking to build a snowman or if I want to go and play. But then I remember how I hurt her before, and I just, I just can’t go through that again. I’m trapped, never to escape. Anna I just wish I could be with you, and even if I thought I could control my powers, mom and dad would never let me be around you, not until they know it’s safe. And until then I love you, and yes I want to build a snowman.
The sound was beginning to become unbearable, the sound of other's screams. There was nothing she could do though she tried to get others out of the burning building but she began to tire. She knew help was on the way but how long, would the building collapse first? She ran back into the building to help as many as she could, she began to hear a child cry and ran towards the sound. She reached a room with a small child stuck under a fallen pillar, she uses the rest of her strength to lift it up and free the young boy. She then tries to carry him out but falls, her arm is hurt badly. She yells for the boy to run and leave. When the girl feels this is her final moments she closes her eyes, then there was light. She looks around to see firemen everywhere, she has a thing of oxygen around her, and she is safe.
Clary: Ugh I need help with all my chores there's just too many of them.
Handy Man: I can help you!
Clary: What, who said that?
Handy Man: It is I, Handy Man! Here to help you with you chores!
Clary: That’s great! But can you stop shouting first?
Handy Man: I don’t know what you mean!
Clary: Alright whatever let's just get to work you clean the upstairs i’ll clean the downstairs.
Handy Man: Sounds good citizen!
Clary: * sighs*
DRAMATIC PLAY OF CHOICE
Linda: Dad, you can’t just leave us! Me and mom need you!
Dad: I’m sorry Linda I just can’t stay anymore, goodbye.
Linda: How could you? I love you, I need a father and you’re just leaving me! Why do you always run from your problems?
Dad: I don’t run from my problems.
Linda: Yes you do! You ran from work, you ran from mom and now you’re running away from me! Why can’t you just help us instead of making it worse!
Dad: That’s why i have to leave! Things will never get better when I'm around! I’m Sorry Linda I have to go!
*Door Slams, Linda lays on the floor and sobs*
DRAMATIC PLAY OF CHOICE
Chris: Mom I need to talk to you.
Mom: What’s wrong honey?
Chris: Mom…… Mom…… I’m pregnant.
Mom: What!? * dials phone*
Chris: Mom? Who, who are you calling?
Mom: Who do think?! We need to get rid of that “thing” before it ruins your life!
Chris: WHAT! NO! Mom I want to keep it, I’ll leave if I have to but I’m keeping it!
Mom: Fine then leave! But don’t you dare come back!
DRAMATIC PLAY OF CHOICE
Sarah: Who ate my piece of cake! It was the last piece!
Jessie:I did because I didn’t get any, so I deserved it!
Sarah: No you didn’t deserve it! I wrote my name on it, and it was mine you shouldn’t have put your disgusting hands on it!
Jessie: The only one in this family who has dirty hands is you! You need to learn to share!
Sarah: You didn’t even ask! Maybe if you had asked i would have let you!
Jessie: I know you, if I had asked you still would have said no!
Sarah: UGH! You are so annoying! (Goes to room and slams door)
Waves crashing against a boat, distant screaming as they get closer and closer to the whirlpool. The try to bail water out as fast as they can but it doesn’t help. They do everything they can to turn away from the vortex of terror but to no avail. The men on the boat begin to hug knowing these were there finale moments. No words to be spoken because there was nothing left to say. The boat hits the whirlpool and goes down.
phone: I play music for you, I hold private information and you treat me like I’m justs some piece of junk just waiting to be thrown out might as well kill me now if that’s what you think no life well I am more than an Ipod I am your best friend remember when you found your first crush you wouldn’t stop texting her or when you were sick I did the talking for you to your friends and now your just going to throw me away for an upgrade that is not cool man Phones have feelings too.
234 THE TALE OF CAPTAIN HOOK
CAST: Captain Hook
Captain: (to himself) Captain Hook robes bank again (to audience) everyone just judges me and they all think they know me they also think I’m bad but really if it weren’t for Peter Pan I wouldn’t have this hook and everyone would think differently here I’ll tell you the story. One day when I was walking I ran into Peter Pan and we became the best friends we played together and we joked around
until one day I while I was walking and saw him with the love of my life and it looked it like they were having fun so I went to stop him and separate them but I didn’t see Peter’s little knife while I was running he draws his knife and as I tried to stop but it was too late my hand got caught on the blade and no more hand that's how I got the name Captain Hook so you think I'm really bad? well think again I am really good its Pan who's bad not me him. And that’s how he became my nemesis.
235 THE RABID WEREBUNNY
CAST: Scoutmaster, and Scout one, two, and three, David, Mac, Julie, and Jacie
Scoutmaster: Gather around scouts and let me tell you of the Rabid Werebunny.
Scout one: What is that?
Scout three: There's no such thing
Scout two: How do you know? (scared)
Scoutmaster: Just gather around the fire. (clears throat) our story begins in the 1850s when my great grandfather was on a camping trip with his friends…
David: Hey who wants to play ghost in the graveyard after diner?
Mac and Julie: Me
Jacie: I thought we weren’t staying the night
Mac: of course we are why wouldn’t we?
David: Please tell me you’re not afraid of the werebunny
Jacie: I’m not
Julie: Yeah you are
Jacie: No I’m not
Mac: then its settled ghost in the graveyard
(they finish diner and start playing)
David: Jacie you start
Jacie: Does it have to be me?
Julie: Yep shes afriad of the dark
(Everyone starts counting while Mac hides)
Everyone: 8,9,10 (everyone starts finding)
Mac: not over here
Julie: not behind the bush
David: Not here
Mac and David run towards the sound
David what is it?
(Julie points to the ground)
(Both boys look)
Mac: do you think that J-Jacie is the…
David: you guys don’t belive in that stuff do you?
(Both nod their heads yes)
Mac: What’s that sound?
(Julie points behind the to boys)
(Both turn around)
Scoutmaster: and it turns out the reason Jacie didn’t want to stay the night is because she was the werebunny and my grandfather was the only one to survive that night the end.
Scout one: that was a bit scary
Scout three: no that wasn’t
(they see a shadow of the werebunny and start screaming and running off stage while the scoutmaster is laughing with scout two coming out from the bushes laughing as well)
237 THE STORY OF A PEN
Pen: You know how hard my life is while you are out in the world I’m in a backpack full of weirdos like pencil and don’t even get me started on the calculator all he does is math problems (shakes in fear) I mean come on a pen and a calculator don’t mix it's not good I need a lot of therapy once I’m talking to him and that ain’t fun and I just met the most amazing pen oh she is wonderful but I only see her when you forget your pencil and that’s not fair (sighs) I need help let me out of this prison and let me be a free soul just for one day just one that's all I’m asking is that to hard for you?
238 The Hill
Characters: Hill, Jack, and Jill
Hill: all day long up and down the Hill me! and i’m tired of it oh no its Jack and Jill again.
Jack: up the hill
Jill: down the hill
Both: to fetch a pail of water (they both laugh)
Hill: you see all day long run on the hill it won’t mind WRONG!! i do mind and no one sees that and they don’t really care
Jack: we have the pail of water
Jill: To home we go
Hill: Do you get it they think I’m a joke and they just don’t care any more
239 THE WOLF’S SIDE
CAST: Wolf, Boy, and Worker
Wolf: ever heard the tale the boy who cried wolf? Well, IT’S ALL A LIE! so let me tell you the real story (the stage changes into a forest and wolf is walking) so one day i was walking and i wanted directions to get to the nearest restaurant and I saw a little boy ( little boy comes out) so I decide I was going to ask him. (to the boy) hi th…
Boy: (in his highest pitch) WOLF WOLF SOMEBODY HELP WOLF
Wolf: (to audience) so I run away because of the high pitch (runs away)
Boy: (to worker) help i saw a wolf help me please
Worker: where did you see the wolf?
Boy: over there (points) (boy following the worker)
Worker: Boy do you think that was funny? i have to work so don’t come get me for seeing things
Boy: but but…
Worker: no buts (walks off)
Wolf: (to audience while boy is frozen) so you see he was trying to get me killed. So I try again and by this point I’m starving (to Boy) plea..
Boy: WOLF WOLF SOMEBODY HELP WOLF
Wolf: he cries again in his high pitch so i run again
Boy: (runs to worker) help I saw the wolf again please help
Worker: you better not be playing with me
Boy: no i’m not come quick (they run to the spot)
Worker: (angrily) I told you come get me if there was a real wolf and i have work so leave your imagination to yourself and don’t get me again (walks off)
Boy: (to himself) i was sure i had that wolf
Wolf: and now by this time I wanted to eat so I try again (walks to boy) now quit pl..
Boy: WOLF WOLF SOMEBO….
Wolf: I got tired of his high pitch screams so i decided to get rid of them just then there was a worker and i had an idea
Worker: Little boy what did i tell.. oh my gosh the boy was right there really was a wolf
Wolf: well now you know to much so i relieve you of your duties (to audience) so now you know the true story
240 CLEANMAN’S DIRTY JOB
CAST: Cleanman (Nate), Dirtdude, Narrator, dirtdude’s serevent, Boss
Narrator: Let me tell you the story of cleanman and Dirtdue so our story goes like this(while Narrator is telling cleanman is doing the actions). One day there was a man who was walking to work then he saw something that caught his eye
Nate: What’s this? (picks up a silver sponge and puts it in his pocket) I better hurry to work
Dirtdude: haha now the silver sponge of cleanliness has been found the last one who found it didn’t stand a chance against me and neither does he (laughs evilly)
serevent prepare my car I have a dirty deed to do
Nate: You aren’t any ordinary sponge so what are you?
Boss: Nate come here I have a special job for you
Nate: alright coming
Boss: Bring your sponge with you
Nate: Ok? (confused)
Boss: you see this bathroom? I want it shining before you leave
Nate: But it’s not my turn
Boss: Now it is (boss leaves and it is just Nate alone in the bathroom)
(Nate is cleaning)
Nate: Why can’t you have a magical power to make things clean themselves? (sighs)
Nate: only if… (the sponge starts glowing and shaking)
Nate: what the? (the sponge starts rising up and then it flies into Nate causing nate to hit the ground) (next day)
Boss: NATE WAKE UP!!
Nate: ooooh my head
Boss: Nate how did you get it this clean
Boss: Get up! (Nate gets up slowly)
Boss: Well it’s clean and you can go it’s saturday go home
Nate: Ok (both exit) (as nate is walking dirtdude comes)
Nate: who are you?
Dirtdude: your worst nightmare
Nate: Oh no you aren’t (starts glowing changing into Cleanman)
Cleanman: Miss me?
Dirtdude: What the how…
Cleanman: simple really he cleaned with the sponge that activated me and you will pay Dirtdude (they Fight)
(Dirtdude is on the ground beat up)
Cleanman: now be gone filthy bug
Dirtdude: this isn’t the last you will hear of Dirtdude
Cleanman: oh just go (Dirtdude goes away)
Narrator: And as Dirtdude is fleeing away Cleanman saved the day while Nate is finding out what else they can do for when Dirtdude comes again the end
Setting: The Colorado Mountains
( Kevin and Bill Clinton are hiking and they find a magical plant )
Bill: Dude we could eat that it would take like a minute.
Kevin: Could it really be that fast?
Bill: Let’s do it!
Kevin: Ight dawg
(both take a bite of plant)
Bill: I feel kind of weird dude.
Kevin: I know I’m seeing things.
Bill: Oh crap is that a bear?
Kevin: I don’t know man all I can see is dragons.
Bill: Dragons! Where, we need to run!
Kevin: I can’t dude my legs are melting.
Bill: Dude where’s your car? We need to go.
(Kevin looks at Bill for one minute straight)
Kevin: I don’t know.
Bill: I feel like something is chewing on my leg.
Kevin: It’s a dragon dude!
Bill: I think I lost my legs man.
Kevin: No, I can see them over there on the ground.
(both randomly pass out and wake up the next morning in a hospital)
Kevin: What happened last night man?
Nurse: You two were attacked by a bear, and for some reason you thought it was a dragon.
Bill: Where are my legs?
Nurse: The bear ate them.
(two bears are wondering around when they find two guys)
Bear 1: I’m really hungry let’s go eat those guy’s legs.
Bear 2: Me too, let’s do it.
(bears go over to the guys)
Bear 1: Rawr I’m gonna eat your legs.
Bear 2: I don’t even think they know we’re here.
Bear 1: why are they calling us dragons?
Bear 2: I don’t know?
Bear 1: I guess we’ll just eat them or something.
Bear 2: Okay I guess.
(they start eating them)
Bear 2: I feel funny after eating those guy’s legs.
Bear 1: Me too.
Bear 2: What should we do?
Bear 1: Go to mars man.
Bear 2: What’s mars?
Bear 1: An animal.
Setting: the enchanted forest
(Shrek and Django are fist fighting)
Django: I’m gonna shoot ya, if ya don’t stop punching me.
Shrek: Shoot me I dare ya.
Django: Oh I will you just wait.
Shrek: Do it then you pansy.
Django: I have to load it first.
Shrek: Okay I’ll wait.
(Both sit there doing nothing till he loads it)
Django: (shoots Shrek) told ya I’d shoot ya.
Setting: Saudi Arabia
Jim: yo, what’s cooking?
Jim: let’s have a rap battle.
Jim: (starts rapping) yo your name is bob right? And you like to say ight. Man your wack as can be and you smell like pee.
Bob: (raps back) You’re bringing my stench to this battle? Boy I’ll strap you to the back of a horse while I’m on the sattle.
Jim: oh okay you win.
Setting: baseball park
People: ahhhhhhhhhhhh there’s a freaking velociraptor!
Velociraptor: Rawwwwwrrrr I’m gonna eat all of you
People: noooo please don’t.
Velociraptor: too bad (eats everyone)
Velociraptor: now I’m full.
Jimmy: What should we do now that we are in Sparta?
Dame: man I don’t know there’s so much to do.
Jimmy: What do you think we should do meech?
Meech: uhhh, let’s see. (A UFO crashes into them.)
Dame: oww what is going on?
Meech: Dude I think an apocalypse is happening.
Jimmy: What? With Zombies?
Dame: nah, Aliens.
Meech: ohhh nooo.
Setting: joe’s crabshack
Joe: Do you guys like my crabs?
Everyone: yeah it’s good dude.
Joe: do you like my special blend of spices?
Everyone: yeah it’s good dude.
Joe: do you like my lobster?
Everyone: yeah it’s good dude.
Setting: Smiths market place
Random Isle toy: I’m one of those random isle toys you see hanging in the breakfast isle. I wouldn’t really have a problem with it if people would actually buy me, but no I’m to “expensive”. Well guess what I’m only like 50 cents like come on. I have feelings too. So next time you need a late birthday present bought on the way to the party don’t come to me. Because I’m to expensive.
Setting: in a garden
Bella: Edward why are you so sparkily?
Edward: We can be sparkily together.
Bella: But I’m Not a vampire
Edward: we can be vampires together
Bella: But you are a beast.
Edward: We can be Beasts together
Bella: I'm dying
Edward: We can die Together
Bella: I’m dead
Bella: This is still a better story than twilight.
Setting: In Gotham City
Batman:To the batmobile!
Robin: We always go to the batmobile, When can it be my turn to be the hero and you are the sidekick.
Batman: Ok Robin you think it’s so easy, From now on you're the hero and I’m the sidekick.
Robin: Batman to the Robichoppter!
Batman: We have one of those?
Robin: Yeah, we also have a Robicar, RobiBike, and I’m renaming HQ to the Robin Tree.
Batman: Oh Great, this is gonna get really old really quick.
Setting: A table in a cafeteria
Table: Uggg! I Hate kids, They just put their Gross Lunches on me, Spill ketchup on my and then they don’t clean me up, they leave me for the creepy janitor, you know the one with the creepy eye (Some kids sit down at the table) Oh Great more of them, the worst part about Them is the gum, if they don’t see a garbage can in their area they stick it the bottom of me (kid sticks gum to the bottom of the table) You Mother….
Setting:in the kitchen
Fork: Alright here is the plan, coffee table when the human walks by you dash at him so he stubs his toe. Got it?
Coffee table: Got it.
Fork: Ok now spoons all the regular spoons hide so, that are only big spoons and long skinny ones. Got It?
All The Spoons: Got it!
Fork: alright lastly, Microwave, when he cooks anything make sure you cook only the outside, not the inside.
Microwave: Alright, got it.
Fork: ok here he comes everyone back in your drawers! GO!
(Door opens and guy walks in)
Guy: I’m Home!!!
Superman: You’ll never get away with this! (Shoots a laser beam at Batman and misses, Blows up a skyscraper then flies out of the city after batman)
Cleaneruperman: alright let's get to work what's the damage today phil?
Phil: Looks like we have 3 skyscrapers knocked over and about 15 cars totalled.
Cleaneruperman: Is that it?
Phil: And it looks like, he might have killed one dog.
Cleaneruperman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! He will Pay for this! (Flies after superman)
Phil: What About the city!?!?
Cleaneruperman: (goes up to superman) Do you know what you have done?!
Superman: Who the heck are you?
Cleaneruperman: You have done me wrong now i will destroy you in return.
(They start fighting, after a second Cleaneruperman Hits superman to the ground)
Cleaneruperman: Now you are under arrest for billions, maybe even trillions of dollars of public property you destroyed!
Superman: Who are you?
Cleaneruperman: i am, Cleaneruperman!
(the police come and take superman away then batman shows up and watches them take him)
Batman: What happened here?
Cleaneruperman: I beat up superman
Cleaneruperman: He’s garbage, he’s always been garbage.
Setting: A bar
Bartender: (cleaning the Bar and the glasses.)
(Girl Walks in with a stray dog in her hands)
Bartender: Ew! Where did you find that hideous Thing?
Girl: I found it on the street.
Bartender: I wasn’t talking to you.
Setting: The forest
The Big Bad
Wolf: I’m going to get you, Red Riding hood!
Red Riding hood: You’ll Never catch me!
The big bad wolf: Oh yes I will.
(Red riding hood runs for a while)
The big bad wolf: (Heavy Breathing) Whew! Lets take a break.
Red Riding hood: (Heavy Breathing) Yeah, Ok.
The Big Bad Wolf: You know you’re not that bad Red.
Red Riding hood: You either. (drops Her pencil) Woops! I dropped my pencil, can you get it for me?
The big bad wolf: Ok (Bends over to grab Pencil)
Red Riding hood: (stabs the wolf)
The big bad wolf: (laying on the Ground With a knife in him) Why would you do that?
Red Riding hood: That’s how we do it in the hood, The Red Riding HOOD!
(The Big Bad wolf dies)
Setting: The Therapy clinic
Therapist: Is it Smokey the bear or do you prefer Smokey?
Smokey: It doesn’t matter to me.
Therapist: So Smokey Why did you come in today?
Smokey: You know Doc, I try to tell people to be careful to not start forest fires but they do it anyway.
Therapist: Mmm Hmm, and how does that make you feel?
Smokey: Eh, Pretty un-bear-able!
(Brock steals Cashew's phone)
BROCK: Ooo, Rusty Gerven. I’m gonna message him!
CASHEW: No, Brock please! I don’t want to start a conversation with him!
BROCK: Look I will just put “hi.”
CASHEW: No, don’t you dare press send. and if you do tell him it’s you and not me.
CASHEW: Oh, I swear I'm going to hit you!
(Cashew takes her phone)
CASHEW: Ah! He’s texting back. He thinks I am the one who said hi, great.
(Cashew walks away.)
Ugly step sister 1
Ugly step sister 2
In Lady Tremaine’s bedroom.
Lucifer is sitting on Lady Tremaine’s bed while she pets him
LADY TREMAINE- Oh Lucifer you’re the only one I like in this dang house.
(Lucifer Rolls his eyes)
LUCIFER- Ha yeah whatever lady.
(Ugly step sisters walk in her bedroom)
UGLY SISTER 1- Mom!!!
LADY TREMAINE- What do you want you ugly duck!?
UGLY SISTER 2- Lucifer pooped in my shoes!! Now I have cat crap all over my feet!
UGLY SISTER 1- Yeah! Me too! I hate that cat!
LUCIFER- When you got to go you gotta go.
UGLY SISTER 1- Lucifer! We all hate you why don't you just run away-
(lady Tremaine interrupts Ugly sister 1)
LADY TREMAINE- Hey! Nobody likes you two. Now get out of my bedroom both of you! You guys stink like crap.
(ugly sisters storm out of bedroom)
LUCIFER- I dont know who i hate more.. those two or you.
Mufasa To Be King
The cave on top of the giant Pride Rock.
Scar and Mufasa are rough housing.
CAR- Better watch out Mufasa imma get you!!
MUFASA- No way Scar you’re too slow! You can’t catch me! Ha-ha!
(Scar is chasing Mufasa around the cave trying to catch him)
SCAR- Oh yeah? Wanna bet!?
(Scar catches up to Mufasa and tackles him)
MUFASA- Scar get off!! I’m telling Dad!
(Mufasa pushes Scar off and runs and gets their Dad)
MUFASA- Dad! Come here!
(Dad walks in)
DAD- What in the world is going on?
(Scar talking really fast)
SCAR- Me and Mufasa were playing with each other and he said that I couldn’t catch him! So I pounced on him like how you taught us! Now he’s upset with me!
MUFASA- No way Scar! You’re lying!!
(Mufasa and Scar arguing back and forth with each other and start hitting each other)
DAD- Whoa boys! Get off of each
other and stop acting like little cubs!
(Dad pulling them off of each Mufasa is now going to be king.
(Mufasa and Dad walk off stage talking leaving Scar)
SCAR- I'll get my revenge on Mufasa one other)
DAD- Now.. Since you guys are done I have some news for both of you, it’s been really hard for me to make up my mind but- I’ve decided who is going to be King when I die.
DAD- Well.. I decided Mufasa is more fit for the position. Congratulations Mufasa you’re going to be King!!
(Both looking shocked)
SCAR- Dad not fair! He’s a little baby! He lies about everything! What about me!?
MUFASA- No I don’t!! You’re just upset because he didn’t choose you!
(Both start fighting again)
DAD- Well my decision is final.
(dad and mufasa walk out)
SCAR- One day i'll get my revenge on Mufasa
The fresh food market.
They are picking up veggies.
TYLER: Hold on Brody, I’m going to go get something.
(Walks over to store clerk)
TYLER: Hey, you. You got the stuff?
(Brody looks over his shoulder at his brother)
STORE CLERK: Yeah bra I do. Hold up a sec and I'll go fetch it for ya.
(Brody Runs over to his brother)
BRODY: Whoa, wait hold on a sec. Tyler what stuff are you getting! Mom told you to stop doing that stuff!
TYLER: It’s my business, and besides you're going to benefit from it anyway!
BRODY: Dude, I don’t want your drugs!
(Pushes brother, as the store clerk comes back.)
STORE CLERK: Sir, I have your fiddle heads.
BRODY: What are fiddle heads! Why are you doing drugs!
(Tyler puts his hands on Brody’s shoulder)
TYLER: Calm down dude. Fiddleheads aren’t drugs. It’s a type of vegetable from New England.
BRODY: Oh, vegetables.Hurray *Sarcastically*